Just moments ago GTJOOWTAA, Get the Juice Out of Wherever They Are Association, ended their three-day strategy meeting, where they discussed why and how all the Juice need to be eradicated.

While most of this group’s reasons for getting rid of Juice are petty, like a Juice getting a promotion over them or claiming that Juice created the Black Plague, one person seemed lost and mumbled something about a citrus allergy, but he was probably crazy.  Yet amongst these crazy ideas came real evidence that the Juice just has to go.  That is the Juice are greedy and take everything for themselves before anyone else can.  Of course, there will be skeptics; plenty of noble grassroots organizations have them.  But the proof is there and it has been under our noses for the last 150 years.

The first thing they take away from us is Nobel Prizes.  All of the Juice in the world make up only 0.2 percent of the world’s population, yet they steal over twenty percent of all the prizes.  There is no possible way that so few people need that many awards.  Clearly the Juice only chase the awards to keep “goys” or non-Juice from winning.  It is also an obvious slap in the face that the Juice keep things hidden.  Nobel Prizes are awarded for exceptional work in specific areas meant to help global society.  They keep winning since they have control of where the world will be in twenty years.  They have all these great discoveries that could help make the world a better place but keep them to themselves.

These despicable Juice even pretend to care about other people by being the first nation to bring aid after disasters.  After the large earthquake that devastated Port-au-Prince, guess who was the first to help?  That’s right, the Juice nation, Israel.  They live on the other side of the world, yet they are so self-aggrandizing that wanted to make sure Juice was the first to help.  They probably caused the earthquake as a publicity stunt just to create an opportunity to look good.

We just need to weaken the Juice so they can’t afford to control the world.  Boycotting Israel will cut off money to the greedy Juice.  Everyone one knows juice can’t function without their beloved shekels.  We can all boycott Israel.  It is easy.  Do not buy anything that comes from Israel in any way.  Be sure to check where your dates and oranges come from.  And it looks like they also made the technology behind decreasing camera size.  No more pictures.  And it looks like they designed the lifestraw that cleans water.  Can’t take any chances only drinking unfiltered water.  And it looks like the first PC was even made in Israel.  They make more stuff than China.  It looks like we can’t even walk without supporting those damn Juice.  They walked in a desert for 40 years straight.  Is there anything that doesn't help Israel?  Wait, there is one thing: coffee doesn’t come from the Juice, but I have to have it black; Israel is the land of milk and honey.