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Nostalgia
Disappointment is suffocatingーit strangles you, weighs you down, but most of all it sucks every last bit of optimism out of the heavy air around you. That is how moving felt. I kept wishing life had a fast-forward button; one I could press until I reached a point where I had friends, good grades, and no school. Instead, I felt like I was trapped in a huge bubble that isolated me, floated aimlessly without a direction. I was getting lost everyday; starting the year with poor grades. However, little by little that air bubble would get bigger and weaker without me even knowing. I was pushing, fighting, but soon I realized I wasn’t alone. We were all struggling, pushing to get to the point where we found the right shell. We rooted for each other without even knowing and soon we all became family, dreading next year when this whole process would happen again, but this time, without the people we had gotten accustomed to seeing everyday.
We’ve all dreamt of the day when we would walk out straight into summer or maybe even college. Now, however, it’s like time is moving too fast, and we’re trying to grasp as much as we can before school ends. I know I’m only a sophomore and most of us aren’t going anywhere. In fact, I’m not really even good friends with half the people I know, yet just being there counts. Of course the memories will always be there, especially the embarrassing ones we dreaded like gym soccer. However, memories eventually fade; family doesn’t.
Everyday we’re counting down the days until summer, but what I think we’re really counting down is the days until we don’t have to wake up at 6:30 am and take tests every day. I guess we’re still going to hang out with other people from school during the summer, but it’s not going to be the same. We won’t be bonding over group discussions and debates or complain about teachers or tests. We won’t be making fun of our friends in class, or laugh about all the failures and success we had. I don’t think we realize it, but we’re really going to miss school. Meanwhile, I’m just going to shove all my emotions away and keep hoping nothing will change next year.
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