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Wandering Soul
Summary:
The world as we know it came to an end in June, year 1290 when the nuclear war broke out. People claimed that the Cold War had come to an end in the late 1900s when Mikhail Gorbachev came into power and the U.S.S.R. fell drastically from its high position. It turns out people were wrong.
For years instead, it had been brewing malignantly beneath the roofs of the two sides’ heads. It was on the whim of two said to be extraordinary men under normal circumstances that it happened. Yet it was not under normal circumstances when the first bomb was released so suddenly, upsetting before killing the most optimistic of a people there ever was in a hundred years. But after so many great years, it was only fair that the world took such a rough turn.
Nobody, however, accounted for the world’s end on their agendas. Nobody was prepared. I, barely settling in my first year at college, certainly was not prepared.
Theresa E.
Wandering Soul
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This book has 127 comments.
Thanks for the review, I really needed that. And I know I need to fix that first chapter, I just didn't know how to. This will help, so thanks. And it just went so quickly because I really only came up with the story as I went along, and I only had a clue as to what I was writing at the end of the first chapter. Now that I have a better idea, I think the writing will flow much more easily. (And it shouldn't be so confusing) Thanks for the feedback! :)
Here I am for a critique:
I'm writing this along as I go, by the way.
First off, I'm confused about the sentence "… compelling me to turn away from my engrossing text message and instead focus my attention[/] on my soon-to-be-best friend." It's kind of confusing and instead of drawing the readers in, it's slightly confusing.
As you describe Justin and Natalya, I suggest putting in a small hint or something to connect some idea together. I'm not sure what you're trying to say in those paragraphs; they seem like two different topics.
I like the whole David thing. Very sweet.
Good, okay. I can see this all tying back together with Justin. When the anger sparks in the MC, it doesn't sound completely realistic. Not everyone would release their anger in such a flurry. Slow it down, and go over the details more.
I've only read the first chapter, but I think you have quite a good premise here. Your punctuation is impeccable [love that, haha], and your dialogue is natural and flowing. However. I'm not sure what this chapter is intended to be. For a chapter, it escalates too quickly, and for a prologue, it's too long. I'd also like to suggest making your characters more three-dimensional and believable, maybe by slowing down the whole first chapter. It feels like you jumped into the plot too quickly.
Overall, great job. I'm looking forward to more chapters. (:
Wow. I just love this so much. I can't wait for the next chapter!!
A huge congratulations, by the way, for taking the number one Sci-Fi/Fantasy Novel position so quickly. That's not an easy thing to do! Great job! You earned it!
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Favorite Quote:
"Everything's a triangle." ~ My mother<br /> <br /> "Write what you love, write what you care about, because sometimes, it's the easiest way to be heard."