It all started when I was headed to the annual Turkey Conservation Convention....

I know, that probably sounded weird. Trust me, I don’t make a habit to going to those crazy conventions, but, unfortunately, a good friend of mine was. Niall was always into crazy stuff like “Save the Red-Bellied Pigeon”, “Stop the destruction of the Rainforests”, or, today’s escapade, “Protect the Turkeys of the World”. I was supposed to pick up Niall from the convention (as fast as I possibly could; I couldn’t risk anyone I knew seeing me there) and then bring him home. His Mom is always nervous about him walking the streets alone and feels better if I go to pick him up, so I was on my way to “bring him straight home”. Of course, I was planning a little detour. But more on that later.

Anyway, I was walking to the Convention when suddenly I run into (literally) a really weird looking man. And yes, I know, who am I to call him weird when I’m the one walking to a convention about “Protecting the Turkeys of the World”, but this guy was dressed pretty strangely. He looked like he had walked straight out of Victorian London. I mean, long coat, top hat, cane, the works. It was pretty odd. But even weirder was what he said. Typically, when you run into someone, you get a reaction, like, “Oh! Excuse me!”, “Out of my way, dude!”, or something like that. Nope! He stepped back, and, with a surprised look on his face, exclaimed, “There you are, José!”

I was a little startled, seeing as my name is not José. I tried to ask him what on earth he was talking about, and that my name was Dennis, not José, but when I looked up, he was rushing off to who-knows-where. Typical. I was about to run after him, but I glanced at my watch and found that it was five minutes after I was supposed to pick up Niall from his crazy turkey convention. I ran through the busy city streets, still curious about that odd gentleman, unknowing how exciting my day was about to get.
* * *

Suffice it to say, picking Niall up took far too long. I arrived in the middle of a film presentation of, “The Persecution of Turkeys through the Centuries”, and it was almost impossible to get Niall out of there. After finally dragging him out of the “theater”, I was mobbed by a bunch of crazed environmentalists in turkey masks, asking me to sign their “Turkey Protection Pledge”. It took all my wits to get us out of there.

We were walking home when I told Niall of the detour I was planning. I was still pretty annoyed about getting mobbed by turkey-crazed nerds, so the tail end of my tirade went something like this:

“I don’t understand why I have to go to all that trouble to get you out of the convention!”

“It wasn’t that bad.” Niall said. “You only had to sign the pledge; they would have let you go.”

“Wasn’t that bad? I felt like the fat one was going to stab me with the pen if I didn’t sign! Those guys were scary! I can’t be home soon enough!”

Niall let out a puff of air, obviously aware it would be useless arguing with me. “Whatever. Let’s just go home and forget about it.”

“That’s the thing.” I said, with a kind of cocky grin. “I have a great idea for a detour.”

“What detour? I thought you ‘couldn’t be home soon enough’”.

“Yes, but this is super cool.” I replied. “I found this old mansion on the corner of 5th Street the other day. All covered with vines and plants and stuff. It would, like, make a great hiding spot! We might even find some old trinket and sell it!”
“No, no, no, no, no!” Niall shook his head so fast I was afraid it might fall off. “I know how this goes. Two kids walk into an old mansion and get eaten by some evil cannibal ghost!”
“Oh, come on. It’ll be fun! Adventure and excitement! Come on!” Before he could reply, I ran off toward 5th street. After a moment, Niall sighed and ran after me.
It took us awhile, but we finally arrived at the gate of the old mansion. I climbed up and over it, and then Niall made a less-than-graceful attempt at mounting the gate, but he finally joined me on the other side. We took a moment to look at the mansion.
In retrospect, it really wasn’t much to look at. An old building from the late eighteen-hundreds, it was basically everything you’d expect an old mansion to be: falling in on itself, beat up, covered in vines and other overgrown plants, and, yes, a little creepy. No doubt that was what Niall was thinking: creepy old house, stay away.
We jogged across the yard and reached the door. I gave it just a slight push, and slowly, very slowly, it opened with a low creak. Niall seemed to be getting more nervous by the minute. He kept muttering under his breath, “Just like the movies. Just like the movies.”
We walked through the hallways, ducking under old boards, dust out of our faces. It was really quiet, and I could tell Niall couldn’t stand the silence, so he said, “So...see anything interesting? Or can we leave?”
“I don’t know.” I said. “Something isn’t right with this house. Something I’m missing...”
“What?” Niall said, twiddling his thumbs nervously. “Something ghostly?”
“No, something just...wrong.” I said (I know, very specific; I was deep in thought at the moment.
Niall blew out a puff of air, trying to look annoyed, I supposed, but I could tell he was still pretty nervous. “I still don’t understand why we came here.”
I turned on him. “You want to know? Frankly, other than the near-death experience with the turkey people, my life really hasn’t been that interesting. Just the boring old, get up, eat breakfast, go to school, come home, do homework, eat dinner, go to bed. I need adventure, something besides the norm. This mansion could provide me an escape, the adventure and excitement that I craved. I need this, Niall, I need this.”
The look on my face must have gotten to him. “Alright, let’s just have an adventure and go home.”
“Wait a second...” I said. “I told you that I found the old mansion on this street the other day, right?”
“Right.”
“Then why didn’t I have this idea before. I pass 5th street almost everyday after school. Why didn’t I notice this mansion before?”
Niall opened his mouth to reply, when, VROOM, a ball of flame came at us from down the hall. I was afraid that Niall would jump out of his pants, and I can’t say I wasn’t quite fazed either.
“RUN!” I yelled. We bolted down the hallway, the fire ball just behind us, advancing, singing our backsides. Then I noticed a door in the wall. I pointed at it, yelling, “Here! Get in here!”
“What?!?” Niall shouted. He couldn’t hear me.
I raised my voice, saying, “Get in here! The fire can’t follow us in here!”
Luckily, Niall understood what I said, and we both dove into the room. We shut the door quickly and then collapsed next to us while the VROOM of the ball of fire passing by the door rang through the room.
“That-” Niall said, catching his breath, “Does not usually happen in the ghost movies.”
I nodded, still trying to rest after the ordeal, but then I looked up. I couldn’t help it, but I let out a gasp, which startled Niall, so he look up, and what he was above us startled him even more.
What stood above us was an enormous metal man. He was maybe seven feet tall, and on his “face” was a permanent scowl. His “eyes” were bright yellow circles which seemed to stare right through us. He wasn’t made of shiny metal, on the contrary, his metal was scarred and battered almost as much as the house. Despite his beat up appearance, he still seemed perfectly capable of smashing us to pieces. In my opinion, it was worse than any ghost Niall could dream up.
Then he did something that scared us even more. His right arm transformed into a saw and he lifted his arm, and I was sure we were dead meat there and then.
He raises his saw...and then stopped dead. His yellow eyes couldn’t give off emotion, but I swear there was confusion in there, as the metal man simply fell backwards, revealing...the wierdo I ran into down the street, Victorian clothes and all. Despite the fact that he probably just saved our lives, I couldn’t help being indignant for the way he had run off before. “You!” I shouted.
He grinned at me like we were old friends. “Ah, José! Good to see you!”
I stood up and glared at him. “My name is not José!”
He looked kind of confused. “What? José, it’s me! Surely you remember!”
I calmed down a bit and took a deep breath. “Sorry, sir. You seem to have me mistaken for someone else. My name isn’t José, it’s Dennis, Dennis Jacobs.”
He looked kind of embarrassed and fiddled with his ridiculous-looking hat. “Sorry about that. You look exactly like someone I know.”
Niall was still in shock, his eyes glued to the scary metal man lying on the floor. “How did you stop that thing?”
The odd man grinned. “Simple electromagnetic pulse, stunned it. Kind of like what you call an EMP bomb.”

“Not that I’m not grateful for you saving our lives, but why are you here? And why are you dressed like that?” I asked.
The odd man started to look around the room, as if distracted. “Don’t insult the clothes! I rather like this look! Anyway, I’m here about the metal men. The time space leak, you know.”
“The what?” Both Niall and I said at the same time.
“Oh, come on! You wanted adventure, here it is! Come on!” Like before, he scampered off, and oddly, it was Niall, not me, who went to follow him, calling back to me, “Come on, Dennis, let’s go!”
“Why are you so ready to go along?” I asked. “I thought you just wanted to go home.”
“Well, I figured we’re not leaving here until you’re satisfied, and I suppose the safest place is with that guy. I mean, did you see how he handled the metal man? Totally cool!”
I looked at him. “But doesn’t something fell..wired? I mean, look at this room.”
Niall did a three sixty as he looked around the room. I mean, it was nothing special, just a spare room in a hallway, probably used for storage at some point, but it was completely empty at the moment. “What? I don’t see anything.”
“That’s the point.” I said. “This house is really old, right? That’s why it seems to be falling in on itself.”
“Yeah...”
“So why don’t you see any cobwebs?” I whispered.
“I-” Niall began, but then we heard a noise coming from out in the hall, like someone yelling. Without a word, we rushed out into the hallway. We saw the weird looking victorian dude fighting another one of those scary men.
Despite the fact that we hadn’t gotten off on the right foot, or a normal foot for that matter, I have to give him credit for fighting that robot. Those things were scary. It wasn’t as much that their appearance was scary, it was as if they radiated fear, as if their presence in this world was so odd, so wrong, it gave you shivers. But the odd guy didn’t seem to have any problem with that. He fought off the metal man with nothing but a spare board and, I kid you not, a rubber chicken. I have no idea where he got that, but he kept battering the metal man, and, while I expected him to be ripped apart, he seemed to be winning. A crazy guy in clothes that were over a hundred years out of style, using only a board and a rubber chicken to fight off a being from outer space, and winning. It was hard to believe.
Finally, the fight was over. He delivered one last smack to his backside with the board, in which the board promptly broke, but then he smacked it in the head with the rubber chicken, and the metal man fell to the floor.
The odd guy came over, grinning like a madman. “That is how we do it, José!”
I started to speak, “My name is not-”
Niall cut me off. “You...you beat it!”
The odd guy leaned against the way, still grinning. “Nay, they’re not so hard when they're in that beat up state. Most of their systems don’t even work. It was a miracle that other one was able to activate his saw.”
“What are they?” I asked.
“They are Calites. Metal men from-” he stopped short, like a parent trying to stop himself from saying something a small child shouldn’t know.
“From where?” I asked. “Come on, one of those things attacked me; I’d like to know what they were.”
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
I stood up and glared at him. If there’s one thing I couldn’t stand more than being stuck in the same boring routine, it was when someone was deliberately withholding information from me. “Look, Mr. whoever you are, I’ve had a day filled with fire balls, metal men, strangely dressed men, creepy houses, and turkey-crazed nerds. There’s nothing I wouldn’t believe now.” He looked at us, still reluctant, and I said impatiently, “If you won’t tell me that, at least tell me where you got the rubber chicken?”
The odd guy looked down at the chicken in his hand as if he forgot he had it, and said, “This? Oh, I just found it in one of the chests over there.”
I grabbed it and looked at it more closely. “But it’s brand new! No way it’s been in this house for a hundred years!”
The odd guy wouldn’t meet my gaze. Then Niall said, “You keep pointing out these weird things about this house. What does it mean?”
“I think I know.” I looked at the odd guy who was still staring at his feet with victory in my gaze, and I said, “That’s it, isn’t it? The house isn’t really old!”
Niall looked at me. “But that’s impossible! Look how...beat up it is!”
“But it makes sense, doesn’t it! No cobwebs, the rubber chicken, and not noticing the house since the other day. It’s because the house wasn’t here before then!” I turned to the odd man. “Well, am I right?”
“Yes, yes, you have me, José. I’ll tell you: the Calites are from an alternate dimension, an alternate Earth, and so is this house. That’s why the house and the Calites are so beat up. Inter-dimensional travel does have its effects. I came from that dimension as well; when the Calites accidentally flew this house to this dimension, I was in there, so I came with it. I’m here to stop them from invading your world.”
It was a lot to take in, but eventually I said, “What is so special about this house?”
He stayed silent.
Niall cocked his head. “Who are you?”
A ghost of a smile crossed his face. “You can call me Will Roderik, Mr. Roderik, if you wish. I come from an alternate dimension in which these things-” he looked with contempt to the metal figure on the floor, “had taken over Earth. I can’t-I won’t let that happen here. Those things are evil.”
I looked at him as if seeing him for the first time. “One last question: why on Earth do you keep calling me José?”
Mr. Roderik shook his head. “Come on, José, you’re smarter then that. Alternate dimension, alternate Earth...”
“Alternate Dennis!” Niall shouted. “There’s an alternate version of Dennis in that dimension, someone you know, that’s named José!”
Before he could reply, a BANG came from across the hall. There were three Calites ready to advance, saws at the ready, and odd buzzing sounds seemed to come from them.
“RUN!” the Mr. Roderik shouted.
“Why?” Niall said, puzzled. “You’ve defeated two of them already; can’t you do it again?”

“Those were beat up scavengers. These guys have had time to charge, so they’re killing machines. Now run!”
So we ran throughout the house, but in each room, we ran into more Calites. The house was infested with them! Finally, we made it to the roof, but by then, we had run into so many Calites, there was a whole horde chasing us through the horse. Still, somehow, we ended up on the roof, and the Mr. Roderik barricaded the entrance with pretty much everything he could find.
“How can we hold them off? What do we do?” I shouted. I had to shout, the wind was picking up on the roof, so it was hard to hear just about anything.
“Hold this, José!” he replied, and shoved something metal into my arms. I looked down to see what he had given me, and I saw: it was a metal weathercock, like you saw on older buildings.
What happened for the next minute or so would probably have been extremely funny if we weren't in mortal danger. He seemed to be grabbing random pieces of metal that were on the roof and assembling them, but the wind was getting stronger and blowing his big silly-looking Victorian-style coat around so it was almost impossible to do any work. On top of that, it started to rain, so the pieces of metal would constantly slip out of his hands. Again, probably would have been funny, but I was freaking out. I had a few choice things to say to him, but for some reason all I said was, “Why on Earth are you dressed like that!”
Mr. Roderik tried to shout at me over the wind. “Alternate Earth, alternate fashion! Victorian is very ‘in’ these days!”
Niall just rolled his eyes and said, “What are you trying to do there?”
“I’m making a conductor rod out of this metal so a lightning strike could start up the Dimensional-Engine to start it up again and blast this mansion and the Calites out of this dimension.”
“The wha-” I was cut off by what I saw next. Not sure why I didn’t notice this before, but there was a great big metal cube standing just to Mr. Roderik’s right. “How did I miss that?”
Through the rain, which was getting increasingly heavier, I saw a grin appear on Mr. Roderik’s face. “You wanted to know why this house was so important! It’s one great big inter-dimensional travel experiment I was working on, but the Calites got to it first and started it before it was ready, and we ended up here.”
“So you’re a scientist?” I asked.
“I’m a lot of things. Right now I’m an engineer. I’ll build this thing and blast the Calites and the house back where it came from!”
“Great!” I shouted. “Keep at it!”
“There’s one problem!” he yelled, the rain dripping off his wacky hat. “The wind is so strong, I’ll have to stay here and hold it!”
“What!” I yelled. “You’ll go with them! They’ll kill you!” I grew increasingly nervous as the Calites began trying to break down the barricade to the roof.
“No, I’ll be on the roof. so I’ll just be flung some random place in the universe! Maybe a nice snowy planet or something. I like snow.”
Niall turned around from where he had been watching the ever-crumbling barricade. “That’s still crazy! You could end up on a planet with no oxygen or something!”
“It’s a risk I’ll have to take! I can’t let them destroy this world like they did mine!” his tone showed there would be no argument. “When I say go, jump onto that tall tree over there. It’s not that far of a jump you’ll be alright!”
“But-” I said.
“GO!” he yelled.
Many things happened at once. At that moment, I saw a metal head peep through from the barricade! They were getting through! I hesitated to leave, but then Niall grabbed my hand, and we both went running and jumped into the tree. As soon as we turned around, we heard Mr. Roderikshout, “Good luck, José!” Just as one of the Calites was about to grab him, lightning struck...and the house disappeared.
* * *
It took awhile to get down from the tree.
Most likely from a combination of fatigue and shock, it was five minutes before we climbed down from the tree. We both didn’t speak. I was in shock. I don’t know how Niall felt, but I was amazed someone had just given his life to save us; it made me feel guilty, sad, and angry at the same time. We trotted across the front yard in silence.
Niall broke the silence. “Do you think he was okay?”
I shook my head. Anywhere in the universe, there was any number of possibilities: running out of air, burning up, freezing, and other horrible fates. Survival was almost inconceivable.
Niall fell back into silence, then he looked up. He began laughing hysterically.
I was about ready to hit him. Someone had just died, and he was there laughing. “What’s so funny?” I growled.
“Anywhere in universe...what are the odds!”
I was still glaring at him, more confused than angry now. “What are you walking about?”
“Look at the tree!” Niall said, smiling. “What are the chances he ended up there! Back on Earth!”
I look at the tree in the front yard and saw something that hadn’t been there before. The writing looked old, really old. Someone had carved a message in the tree. And the carved letters said:

Nice job, José.
-Will Roderik, 1889