Grief | Teen Ink

Grief

October 10, 2013
By daniw144 BRONZE, Natick, Massachusetts
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daniw144 BRONZE, Natick, Massachusetts
3 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Today you are you, that is truer than true. No one alive is youer than you."


Author's note: I wrote this for my friend about half a year ago. She ask me to write a sweet story about her and her crush from her crushes point of view and include zombies. And I ended up making this. She thought it was really good, and so she asked me to post this on a website called Wattpad. I did, and it got a few views. Recently, I was cleaning out my inbox and came across this, which I sent to myself back in May 2013. I reread it and listened to it with a sad song playing in the background and I started crying in study hall. I take a creative writing class, and it's required to submit at least 4 pieces of writing to something by the end of the term, so I'm using this book. If you want to know what song it was, it's called "The end of all things" by Panic! At The Disco. I think it really fits this story, and the song only came out a few days ago so it surprised me. The names are changed in this to hide personal stuff. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the story.

I reached up and laid my gun on the desk. I closed one eye and fired. The zombie fell to the ground.
    “It’s clear!” I shouted behind me. Cara, Allie, Jay, and Darcy stumbled out from behind the metal door.
    “Let’s grab the food and go.” Darcy directed.
    “No,” Cara said. “I wanna look around. There’s memories left here. Besides, I need to finish something I started.”
    “But Car,” Darcy started. Cara stared back with pleading eyes.
    “It’s okay,” I said. “Cara and I will go do what she needs. You, Allie and Jay can start filling the bags.” The others nodded and ran into the kitchen. Here we were. Back at Everett.

“What did you want to do?” I asked Cara as we walked down the halls.
    “You’ll see when we get there, Matt.” She told me. I sighed. She was always tense. When we got to the 7th grade hallway, she stopped.
    “What are we doing outside Mrs. Garcia’s old room?” I asked her. Then I noticed. She was standing in front of my old locker.
    “Matt, I’ve liked you since we first stood here. I always dreamed of this. Now...” She leaned in and we kissed. Now, 4 years after 7th grade, we stood in the middle of an apocalypse. And it was just us. But we were interrupted by a loud yet familiar sound. Dun dun dun! The intercom switched on.
    “Hey guys,” It was Allie’s voice. “Um, get down here. We’re in some trouble!”
    “Hurry!” I heard Jay scream from a further distance. We bolted down the halls, hands on our guns, and came across a huge mess of the undead. Allie was crouching behind the front desk; Jay was holding the front door shut and Darcy holding the back. Allie shot a few. But the lobby was full of them, all gathered by the office door.
    “Come on!” I said, and we ran into the fight. I looked at some of them, and I recognized them. They were students. People from back in 7th grade. From that day in May when it all happened. It broke out at school. The 5 of us were lucky to make it out. The others, not so much. One suddenly grabbed Cara. I pulled my gun up and aimed it. But then it turned around, and I stopped. Because I knew who it was. Sarah.

I thought she was a goner. I just couldn’t pull myself to shoot my ex girlfriend. I was just standing there and she was screaming. But then the monster fell off her. I turned around. Jay was standing at the door, holding a smoking pistol. Allie ran up behind him and Darcy after them. They had cleared a path and ran toward us.
    “You okay?” Jay asked me as the others ran to help Cara up.
    “Yeah I’m fine, it’s just...”
    “You knew who it was. I know. I ran into my best friend Chris back there...”
    “Oh...” I said.
    “It’s fine. You know, it wasn’t him. It wasn’t her.” He said, nodding toward Sarah’s finally resting corpse.
    “Yeah.”
    Cara suddenly grabbed my arm.
    “Ohmigod,” She said, “I’m sorry. I know that you couldn’t have shot her, and-”
    “It’s okay now,” Allie interrupted. “We just needa get out of here.”
    “Yep,” Darcy said, tossing 2 bags over her shoulder. “We got all the food that was worth taking.”
    “It’s not much though,” Jay said, “considering this was a Middle School.”
    “Come on,” I said. “I needa leave.”
    “We all piled into Jay’s old truck and pulled away. I sat in the front and the girls in the back, pawing through the loot. There was tons of canned beans and corn, as well as chicken that was still in good condition. We just needed an oven. Of course, Darcy could build one; she was surprisingly the fix-it girl of our group. We drove for a few miles until we got to the town forest. Jay and I jumped out and pulled the fence up, and Cara drove it in. We pulled in back down, jumped back in, and started down the dirt path. About a mile in we pulled into the driveway of the old run down house. We each took some food and ran inside, quietly shutting the door. It was late, about 11 o-clock. Danny was sitting on the counter, still on guard.
    “Sweetie!” Darcy shouted, running up and gave him a hug. He pulled back.
    “What’s wrong?” She asked. We all looked at his hand, which was gripping his leg. She pried it away, and we all gasped. He was bitten.

No," Darcy stammered back. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no!" She stamped her foot into the ground, a tear rolling down her cheek. "I'm sorry..." he said. "Where is it?" Jay asked. "Out the window. Dead." He clenched his teeth. "We can save him," Darcy stammered. "He'll be fine. We just need to cut it off!" She reached toward a saw laying on the chair. I grabbed her hands. She was shaking. "Let go, Matt. We need to do it now." "D," I said, "There isn't-" "Let go!" She screamed. I fell back as she twisted her arms out of my grip. "Darcy," Cara said, "Come here." "Not right now, Car," She said, picking up the saw, "I'm busy." She started to walk toward Danny, but Jay pulled her back. She started thrashing around. "Let go of me, Jay!! We need to save him before it's too late!!!" "Baby," Danny said, look at her with sincere eyes. "It is too late." "No!!!!" She shouted. Jay put his hand over her mouth. "Shhh," Danny said, "You'll attract more." She shook her head back and forth for a minute, and when she slowed down Jay moved his hand. "I'm not letting you die," She whispered. "But do you really want me to become one of those things?" He asked. "We don't have anything that we can use to seal the cut back up; the loss of blood would just kill me faster." "But-" She said, her face now stained with tears. "You know what has to be done." She started to shake again. "I can't..." She started. "I'll do it," I said, startling everyone, even myself. "How could you do that!??" Darcy started to scream again. Jay covered her mouth again and had her sit. "Pack everything up," Danny told me. "The gun shot's gonna get all of them over here. You have to leave when it's done." I nodded, and Cara and Allie started to pack things up. Jay had calmed Darcy down, and they said goodbye. 20 minutes later, everything was packed up and the girls were in the truck. "I'm gonna miss you," Jay told him. "You got this?" He asked me. I nodded. He stepped out the door. I pulled the pistol up and rested my finger on the trigger. "I'm really sorry, man," I told him, choking on a few tears. "It's okay," He said. "Take care of her." I nodded. He closed his eyes and said his last words. "I love you, Darcy." And with that, I grimaced, and pulled the trigger.

   The others had heard it. I could hear Darcy screaming in the background. I looked down at my dead friend for a second, then walked out of the building.

    I jumped into the passengers seat, slamming the door, and Jay floored it. Darcy was sobbing in the back, and the others were trying to calm her down, but they were crying too.
It hurt me and Jay, too of course, but we just couldn’t afford to show it. The group relied on just the two of us now. We couldn’t all crumble.

    We left the forest and started driving down the road. We got to Route 9 and just drove. We did for hours. Eventually we ran out of gas, so we stopped at a station that was near. It still worked, luckily. Jay went out to pump it and Cara and I went into the mini mart that was part of the station. Allie stayed with Darcy.

    “Did it hurt you?” Cara asked me.
    “Did what hurt me?” I asked.
    “Shooting him...”
    “Oh. Well, yeah, a little.” She reached for my hand and our fingers locked.
    “Don’t have that happen to us.” She said, looking up at me. Her hair was frizzed up and curly, her eyes still a bright hazel color. I smiled at her.
    “Don’t worry,” I said. “That won’t happen.”
    We sat down behind the counter and took a candy bar. The expiration date was July 31, 2017. It was still good. This had lasted. Most things didn’t. We both took a piece of the Hershey bar, a once well know treat that was hard to find now. I looked up and saw a hand print on the desk. I looked carefully. It was blood. It was still wet. I stood up quickly.
    “Come on,” I said, running toward the door.
    “Why?” Cara asked, standing up. I didn’t answer, just left. She followed.
   
    “Hey, is it filled?” I shouted to Jay, who was still standing by the pump.
    “Almost.” He yelled back.
    “What’s in there will have to do.” I said, running toward the car. I opened it. And the others were gone. Jay walked up behind me.
    “They went down by the water.” He told me. No. I ran down the hill.
    “Start the truck up!” I shouted behind me, “We’ll be there in a minute!” I ran and ran, looking for them. After what seemed like forever, I saw Allie and Darcy sitting on the shore.
    “We have to go!” I yelled at them. The girls sat up abruptly.
    “What’s wrong?” Allie asked.
    “Can’t explain, we need to leave!!!”We all started back up the hill. When we got to the top, Jay and Cara were in the truck, ready to speed out of the lot. As if on cue, the door suddenly opened, and a huge group poured out.
    “RUN!” I screamed. They ran, but we were just able to out run them. Cara pushed the back door open and we jumped in, just in time. Speeding out and onto the road, I looked back. They were everywhere.
    “Next time,” I said, “Everyone stays near the car.”

  We’d been on the move for 2 weeks. Darcy still moped around, and we all felt sad. We had decided our best bet was to go north; up there people didn’t live as much; hopefully there would be an airport with some working things. I woke up early this morning, looked out the window and hoped it was all a dream, that it would be my bedroom window. But it wasn’t. It was the cold forest, with dark trees all around the truck that was hidden in a ditch. I shook my head and climbed through the broken window into the seat part of the truck. We had slept on the back bed because it was hot.  I reached into the bag that held breakfast foods. I dug around and pulled out a bag with a few muffins in it. They were stale for sure, but they had no mold; just a bad taste.
I sat down in the drivers seat to think. About life.

    It all started one day back in May, 2013. It was a regular day at school; the 24th to be exact. Everyone was excited because of the nice day yesterday. We had had the basketball tournament and a half day, so we were all ready for a 3 day weekend. But it wasn’t going to be a 3 day weekend. I was sitting in Mr. Craig’s class, staring at the clock. We had just gotten back from lunch. I had just broken up with my girlfriend. I just wanted to get out of the building. And I did. There was a loud scream from down the hall. We all looked up, and Mr. Craig left the room to check what was going on. After 20 minutes, we heard his scream. We all knew he wasn’t coming back. There were more screams, coming from the 8th grade hallway, and kids were running. There was blood on the hallway floor. I stood up and left the room. I ran down to my locker and grabbed my jacket and backpack. I turned around and smacked into Cara and Darcy.
    “Ohmigod, guys what’s going on!??” I asked.
    “We don’t know,” Darcy said. “But Mrs. White just died.”
    “Woah,” I said.
    “And then she came back.” Cara said, “She attack people. And they died.” We walked down the hall and Danny ran into us.
    “Oh god, you’re still you!” He shouted.
    “Yeah, but we need to go!” Cara told him. “Oh, no.” She said looking down the hall. Darcy looked at her.
    “Allie?” She asked. Cara nodded. She started shaking.
    “CARA!” A voice shouted. We turned around again, and there was a girl, medium brown hair, blue eyes, shorts, flip-flops, and an shirt. Next to her was a guy, a little taller, with blue eyes and short brown hair as well. 
    “Cara,” she said, “This is Jay. We ran into each other down the hall. Everyone is... is....”
    “I know,” Cara said, “Come on!” We ran to the others lockers. They grabbed their bags and then we left the building. There were blood stains all over the door. Failed attempts at escaping. We ran down the street. Jay reached into his pocket.
    “I grabbed these from behind Mr. Housman’s desk,” he said. He pressed the unlock button and a blue pick-up truck flashed on.
    “That’s it,” He said. “Come on!” We all ran to the truck, Jay sitting in the front.
    “You know how to drive?” I asked.
    “I’m 14,” he said, “How hard can it be?” And he started the car. And now we’re here. And I snapped out of it when I heard a ear piercing scream.

    I ran into the back. There, a dead zombie was laying across the side of the truck. Allie and Cara were pale, Jay was holding his gun. And Darcy was lying still. Covered in blood.
Oh god, I thought, Danny told me to take care of her... and I failed. I jumped into the back to look at the wound. Her entire left arm was missing.
    “What happened?” I asked.
    “It just jumped on her,” Jay said, “I shot it, but not early enough...”
    “It’s not your fault,” I told him, then turned back to Darcy.
    “Is it bad?” She asked, pressing her eyes tightly together.
    “Yeah...” I told her honestly.
    “I’m going to die, right?” I couldn’t answer that. A tear streamed down her cheek.
    “I know I am... but that’s okay.” I stared at her, startled.
    “ Cuz, when I’m gone, I’m gonna see Danny, right?” She opened her eyes, looking at me brightly. I nodded, a few tears running down my face.
    “He’s gonna be there, alright.” I said. He’s gonna be there and take you’re hand and you two will be together forever.” I gripped her hand.
    “Good,” She said, “I’ve missed him.”
    “Yeah, me too.” I told her. I looked back and the others were crying. Even Jay. I looked back down at her. She was flushed, nothing but the frame of her face left. She was almost gone.
    “But I’m gonna miss you, too guys,” She said, looking up at all of us. “You the most, Cara.” Cara let out a loud sob.
    “Allie, I’m glad we were friends, too.” She buried her head in Jay’s chest.
    “And Cara,” She smiled, “You owe me 100 dollars in heaven.” She nodded to me. Cara lost it then.
    “I’m really sorry guys..” She said, “I’ll see you all soon, I guess, and I’ll watch you. Thanks for everything. Really.” She closed her eyes and smiled.
    “I’m coming, Danny,” And then her body fell limp. We all cried for a minute. She was gone. She was really gone. And then I remembered. We had to shoot her. I laid her body on the grass at the base of the truck. I looked down, tears pouring out of my eyes, and shoot her lifeless body, so it would stay rested. Cara grabbed my arm and started sobbing. But I knew we had to get going. I sighed and climbed into the front with Cara.
    “I’m sorry,” I told her, smoothing her hair down. She just gripped me tighter. And then I pulled out of the ditch and far away from our resting friend.

  Ever since Darcy died, everything has been worse. I mean, she had been depressed for a half a month, but she was still the hope that we had. She was the spark. And now, she was gone. We had been living in a forest for 3 weeks now. It had been a month since she passed away; we just drove for a week. We had stayed sort of in groups, me and Cara, Allie and Jay. Just clinging onto the other, hopping that they don’t leave. Cara had been pretty emotional; crying every night, laying next to me. We were only 17 and 18. This was pretty hard on us all. I cling to Cara every night, making sure she doesn’t go anywhere. I wouldn’t be able to stand losing her. That would just be too dreadful. Jay thought the same thing.

    It was late on a July night, and we were trying our best to celebrate Allie’s birthday, which we figured out was 3 days ago. She was 18 now; an adult, but we've all had the pressures of one for a long time. We were all sitting around a small fire around noon. We were trying to smile and laugh, but it wasn’t easy. Allie went into the truck for a minute an we all gathered closer together. When she didn’t come back, Jay ran to the truck.
    She wasn’t in it. We started looking around, and Jay called out her name as loud as he dared. When we saw her lying on the ground, we ran to her. I expected to see a bite, wound, but there wasn’t anything I could see.
   
    “Allie, whats wrong?” Jay said frantically. She gasped for air, clutching at her chest, pointing to her lungs. And then it dawned on him.
    “She’s having an asthma attack.” He said. Asthma. Asthma?? With all that had been going on, I never expected to have something so common happen. Something so simple.

    “Does she have an inhaler?” I asked.
    “I left it,” Allie squeaked out, “At the house in Petersville.” Cara made a sound, sort of like she was deflating. And I understood why. She was going to loose her other best friend.
    “Oh god,” Jay said, “I should’ve remembered it!” He slapped his leg and it turned bright red.
    “No,” Allie shook her head, “It’s my fault.”
    “Sweetie, I can’t loose you to something like this.”
    “Don’t worry, Jay. I’ll be okay. There’s nothing like this where ever I go. I’ll be fine.”
    “No,” he said. “No, I won’t, I can’t-”
    “Trust me,” she said, grabbing his hand. “You can do this without me. Do it for me.”
    “No,” he said louder, tears once again starting. Her asthma started up again. She started coughing.
    “Just remember,” She told us, “That I love you all. Cara, we’ve known each other since 5th grade. You're my best friend. And guys, this has been quite an experience,”
    “Allie don’t say that!” Jay shouted.
    “And Jay,” She said through coughs, “I love you.” She grabbed at her throat again and started chocking. Silently, Jay squeezed her hand, and she lightly squeezed back. And then Allie’s eyes fluttered shut for the last time.

Late that night, I woke up to a rustling by the trees. I grabbed my gun, but saw that it was only Jay. And he was carrying Allie.

    “What are you doing?” I asked him. He looked up and placed Allie on the ground.
    “I can’t do this, dude,” He said, tears already pouring down his face, “I can’t live without her. I miss the nights with her laying next to me, feeling that she was there. I just can’t do this anymore.” I understood. I couldn’t live without Cara. We had already lost half our team in the last few months. What was another? I nodded.
    “If it’s what you need to do,” I said. “We can make it,” I nodded to Cara, sleeping right beside me.
    “Are you sure?” He asked. I knew he wanted to help us, but he’d be no help if he was love sick.
    “Yeah,” I said, giving him a half smile, “Go be with her.”
    “Thanks,” He said, laying down next to Allie, “I’m really gonna miss you guys, and I’m sorry I can’t stay. But you guys, you’re gonna make it. You’re the survivors.” He looked over at his girlfriends body. “She sorta looks like she’s just sleeping.”
    “Well, fall asleep next to her then,” I said looking at the ground. He nodded, and help the gun to his head, looking at Allie when he pulled the trigger. And then all was quiet again. I pulled Cara up next to me, holding her tighter. Because now it was just her and me.

“Matt! Matt!” I woke up to Cara screaming my name. I opened my eyes, and she was leaning over my face, shaking.

    “Ohmigod,” She said, burying her face on my shoulder. “I woke up, Jay, he’s-”
    “Dead.” I finished her sentence, sighing because I knew once again it wasn’t just a dream.
    “How did you know?” Cara asked me, still looking over the side.
    “I woke up when he was up last night. He couldn’t go on. He had to be with her,” A tear rolled down her cheek.
    “That’s so sweet,” She whispered, “But what do we do now?” She looked at me. I shook my head.
    “Well, we keep going.”
    “But there’s only two of us.”
    “I know, but there is two of us. We can keep each other safe.”
    “But it’s not the same.”
    “I know.”
    “I miss them all.”
    “Me, too.” I looked at her face again. It had been 2 months since we ran into Everett. 2 months since we last spent those few minutes in the mini mart. Each time we had been interrupted. Today I wouldn’t let that happen. I looked at the drivers seat.
    “You wanna get out of here?” I asked. Cara shook her head.
    “No, I can’t drive this. This was Jay’s truck.” I nodded.
    “I understand,” I told her, taking her hand, “Come on, then. Let’s walk.”
   
    The sky was stormy, promising rain. We walked along, looking at the trees and the leaves on the ground. A cool, threatening breeze blew by. It actually seemed normal. We were alone, there were no interruptions. We just walked. Then a twig snapped. Neither of us had done it. We turned around, and 5 zombies were walking toward us. We fingered our guns and started running. They followed. More and more came. I turned for a quick second. There were another 10 now. We turned and shot all of them down. We turned forward, and started firing. Cara stepped ahead of me. The last one stood right next to her. I fired. Cara fell to the ground. I shot the last one again and ran to her side. I looked at her leg. She was shot. She stared up at me with the same pleading eyes she gave Darcy back at Everett. She was crying. We both knew this was the last place she would be. I grabbed her arm and had her look at me. I had to see her face before she looked any different.

    “I’m sorry,” I said, “I haven’t been with you very much. And I just, I just did this to you and now you're-”
    “You didn’t do anything wrong. You just happened to hit the wrong target. Besides,” She said, “I didn’t like it here anyway.”
    “Here?” I asked.
    “Yeah,” she told me, “Here we don’t get to live. We fight. And I want to live.”

The author's comments:
This is the last Chapter

    “But,” I started, “If you die you can’t live.”
    “But I can’t live here either, you know?” She said, “There’s only gonna be battles. They’re all dead; there’s nothing bringing them back. This whole world is all that’s gonna be here for the rest of time. I just don’t see the point any more.” Blood was pouring out of her leg.
    “What should I do?” I asked.
    “Come with me.” Cara whispered. I smiled. That was what I expected from her.
    "But-"
    “I’ll be waiting,” she said, “See you in a minute. I love you.” And then she, too, let go. Just like the others.
    “Wait!” I shouted, “Don’t go yet! We still have to talk!” But there was no time to talk. Just think.

    I thought of the first time we kissed. It was a month after all of this had started, late June, and she looked so beautiful. We sat on the grass after an actual meal at a restaurant that still had food. We were sitting on the grass, and she touched my hand and we both leaned in. And it was magic.

    I thought of her first kill, when it was walking toward her and I was behind it. She was so brave, just took a deep breath and fired. And she cried that night because it looked just like a regular person. And she learned what was ahead of her.

    I thought of when she and Darcy had a fight last year because they both wanted to do different things; Darcy wanted to leave our town, Cara wanted to stay. They made up the next day and we were all in a great mood for quite a time.

    I thought of that day when we were all laughing and playing outside in the woods with a Frisbee, just doing things that we always did before any of this happened.

    And then I thought about now. There’s nothing left. I just killed Cara. I just killed my light. I couldn't stay. There really wasn't anything left. I laid down next to her, looking at her soft face, resting. I frowned at the thought that she was gone. But I couldn’t think about this anymore. I hugged Cara tightly, and kissed her cold cheek. I held the gun up to my head, shaking. This was it. I thought carefully about what I should say, even though no one would hear me.
    “We tried. We all tried to last. We did great. Four years is better than anyone else. And none of us are gonna become on of them. We’re all going to be okay, even though we had to deal with all this grief. Because no one lasts forever. We are the survivors.” And with that, before I could change my mind, I pulled the trigger and left the world behind.

A Poem - By Matt Woods
A beautiful day, leaves falling down,
Tapping the pavement with the rest of their stems.
The morning light reflects of the wet, shinning grass.
Suddenly, the air shatters.
It all starts then.
A race for survival, A burden of grief.



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