Dear Alyssa,
There’s not many ways to start this off, but the sooner I get this done, the sooner I can get this show rolling. So I guess the best way to go through with this is starting from the beginning.

     I was sitting alone at lunch, typical, and I was probably at the verge of tears from what happened all throughout the week. No one cared enough to ask if I was fine, I mean, why would they? They had already done so many negative things towards me that caring would just be a joke. But for some reason, you were different. I still remember the moment so vividly. I remember how I jolted when you first spoke to me.

     Voices, so many voices bouncing across the walls of the cafeteria making infinite sound burn throughout the room. A dark haired girl walked a few meters from the spot where I sat. For a second we made eye contact before I lowered my head self-consciously. No one had too see what I was truly feeling, I wasn't about to let my cover slip. However, curiosity got the better of me as I quickly glanced back in her direction. I froze when she started coming closer.

      It still shocks me to this day because honestly, of all people I never envisioned you to be the one talking to me. Then the biggest shock came: You asked if I was okay. The amount of times I had been asked that question throughout my life before that one moment would lead to a whopping amount of One. And that was just because I was hit by a dodgeball in gym. I remember how surprised you looked when I started crying right in front of everyone. I still remember how you took me outside and let me spill everything on my mind.

      I looked at my shoes as I cried, not daring to meet her eyes while she sat me down on a bench outside. I'm so utterly embarrassed, the fact that the unnamed girl was sitting next to me with such tranquility instead of bullying me until words burned into my brain surprised me. “W-why are you sitting next to me?” I asked with a harsh tone, probably another reason why I don't have friends.

       She shrugged, “No one deserves to be alone.”

      That day you told me you were going to be my friend. And not just the kind of friend you sit with and maybe crack a joke or two with at lunch, but the kind of friend you can trust to keep you in one piece and listen to you, even when you sound insane. A friend that will stay with you even in your worst moments. I don't understand how you could have possibly said that to a sobbing mess that you barely knew. I do understand however, that you are the best thing to ever come into my life.

      I didn't believe you at first. I was completely skeptical about the whole situation and I thought it was just some prank that you and your other friends were pulling on me. You can't even begin to understand how guarded I was the first day I sat with you and your group. It's hilarious thinking back on it now, but back then I was terrified of what would happen. However to my surprise, nothing happened. Literally. No one talked to me but you and you were the only one to voluntarily sit by me. That didn't matter to me though, because it was still a huge step up from the past few months at that time.

       Before you became my friend, I was a loner. Before I met you, my life was dark. Before our first words to each other were spoken, I was sad and alone and done with life. I felt worthless, I still do, but you make it better. I was forgotten and lost, but you guide me through the path of life. I'm not doing what you think I'm doing, ok? Last time I tried you told me life was worth living, and that I have a whole world in front of me that I have yet to meet. Although I doubt that's true, I'm trusting you. So far, you've never been wrong. For the sake of my sanity, I hope it stays that way. Ive also realized that the only way I can be completely happy is by leaving. DON'T FREAK OUT!! I'll be okay, my sister's taking me in. I just couldn't stand living here anymore! Everywhere I turn there is another conflict just waiting to crush me and push me down more and more until I can barely think straight. I'm not appreciated and I'm not needed around here, so what's the point of staying?

       You can tell the girls we sit with that I'm not gonna be around any more. I know they didn't really like me anyway, so they are going to be absolutely thrilled. One last thing, don't you dare blame yourself because I left. I know you will want to say it's all your fault, but it really isn't. I mean if it weren't for you, i wouldn't be breathing. You have been the biggest impact in my life and I love you for everything you have done. But I can't stay, and I'm sorry I'm letting you down by doing so. Thank you for everything,

         Sincerely, Daniela.

      I sighed as I sealed the letter in its envelope. My sister was waiting for me in the car while I dropped off the letter to Alyssa at her house. I felt bad enough about leaving so abruptly, I couldn't bear telling her to her face. Things were getting bad at school again recently and my mom was getting tired of putting up with my complaining. Her job already keeps her busy and stressed enough. Alyssa has been my only friend and the only person I can trust, but even she's been acting distant at school. Any rational human being would just assume that she's too busy being drowned in finals to hang out but I know better than that. She's probably finally been convinced by her friends that I'm not worth her time. That assumption on its own became my breaking point. I was tired of facing everyone at school and even my best friend was starting to get irritated by me. It became evident that I was becoming a nuisance in her life when she snapped at me for talking about my stress for an upcoming project. So I decided I wouldn't face these people and that she wouldn't have to control her annoyance towards me anymore because I'm leaving.

                            *  *  *
    Alyssa texted me that night. We had just arrived at my sister’s two room apartment when my phone started blowing up with notifications. After trying to call me millions of times, she finally gave up and apologized. What for? I didn't even know, but then she had to tell me. That first day she walked up to me was on a dare. Everything was just some big joke that was supposed to end within this next week. She pathetically tried telling me that we ended up friends in the end, but I told her that friends would never do that to each other. She kept trying to reason with me and trying to convince me to come back but I stopped answering.

Her last words to me: "I'll miss you." That's when I broke, because deep down inside I felt the impact of those words, and knew they weren't true.