I was going to die, I knew I was.

I was simply just too old. My once thick and wild hair had diminished leaving my head bald as well as my strong body build had grown worn down and flabby.

I had turned 105 just a couple months back which is pretty impressive since most of the men during my generation had their lives cut short. I know I was on the verge of joining them.

My granddaughter Beth had wheeled me into a tour of one of the German trenches that was preserved around the western front. I had known this place all too well.

“Are you okay, grandpa?” Beth leaned over and whispered to me, “You’re being awful quiet, does your oxygen tank need refilling? We could leave”

“No Beth dear, I’m fine” I waved my shaky hand at her.

I zoned out through most of the tour guide’s speech; I already knew everything that was needed to be said about this place, the gas bells, walls of sandbags and dirt, the vast land separating the two trenches and all.

The one place I was looking for in particular…Was my old corner.

Beth wheeled me through. I recognized every corner; Every nook and cranny…And then I saw it.

“Beth, honey, can you stop here?” I asked her in a raspy voice, I didn’t expect my breath to be taken away by the sight of what just others would describe as ‘just an ordinary corner’.

“Grandpa, we’re going to loose the tour” Beth told me but she stopped like I had told her too.

“We’ll catch up with them later. I want to be here right now” I said.

Beth continually tried to talk to me as I stare deep into that one spot.

I never imagined I’d ever step foot in this horrid place ever again…But one thing motivated me to come her during the last few days of my life.

Nickie…
…

“Mind if I sit next to you?” a boy had approached me as I ate a can of Bully Beef alone in my own little corner.

He looked awful young; he looked around the age of 17, maybe even younger. I had heard that they were sending younger boys out to the trenches because they were running out of soldiers. Even his voice had a hint of child-like naiveness.

The boy had a distinct beauty mark under his left eye. His eyes were squinted because his smile was so large it barely fit his own face.

“Uh, sure” I said.

He plopped down right next to me and took out his own proportion of food.

“I’m Nikolaus! But you can just call me Nickie!” he introduced himself with a smile.

I couldn’t help but wonder why he was so happy? Has he not been here for that long? Is he new? Does he not have knowledge of how many people die out here?

“I’m Otto” I responded.

Nickie shook my hand, “Nice to meet you Otto. I was wondering if you needed a friend since you were sitting all alone”.

“I had friends”  I answered.

“Oh…” Nickie immediately caught on to my past-tense, “Do you have a sweetheart back at home?”

“No” I replied back, I wanted him to stop talking and walk away but he was persistent.

“Neither do I, I find myself wondering what I’m fighting for out here, besides for my country of course!” Nickie laughed.

He turned to me and said “Sometimes people need just one person to be there for them. Whether it’s a sweetheart, a pretty lady, a family or a nice friend! A motive can make everything so much more brighter in dark times!”.

“Well too bad all of my friends got blown to bits” I said nonchalantly.

He actually gave me a look of pure sympathy.

His sadness didn’t last for long and he began to be optimistic again, “I’ll be your friend!” he said.

I didn’t quite know what to say at first. I thought this boy was peculiar and that maybe he was suffering from some new type of shell-shock because he was just too goddamn joyful about everything. He seemed almost fake.

Even still, he quickly became my closest friend.

We ate together almost every day. When food was cut down we would split and share meals.

Nickie woke me up one morning when I was dosing off in the trench. Nickie had cupped my drooping head in the palms of his hands and whispered to me, “Hey Otto, wake up. You’re going to hurt your neck like that”.

I whined slightly out of being pulled from my rare deep sleep.

Nickie brought me up to my feet with just grabbing onto my hands and heaving backwards.

“Sorry for waking you, I promise this’ll be worth it” Nickie told me as he led me through the narrow walkway of the trench.

We were going deep down. I could tell this once we came across the horrendous huge rats, soon after it there would be the decaying bodies of soldiers that never got picked up.

Nickie had led me towards a sniper lookout near the barbed wired fence that littered the upper part of the trench.

The air was uncomfortably cold since it was fall and nearing winter.

The sky had a purple and pink tint to it as the sun began to rise. It was the most peaceful and serene thing I had seen in months.

“Isn’t it the prettiest sight?” Nickie let out a happy sigh, “It’s gonna be morning soon though…and soon the French army on the other side of no man’s land will make their way back over here, and we’ll shoot them, then run through no man’s land to try to get into their trench, then we’ll run back, then repeat it all over again. It’s tedious”.

I rested my arms against the soil wall and kept my eyes focused on the gorgeous sunrise, “You’ve got that right”.

“It’s sad that a moment like this won’t last forever” Nickie leaned up next to me “Sometimes I like to stay up all night just to see what it looks like to have a moments peace in a world full of war”.

He took a pause and continued, “Do you know anyone on the other side?” Nickie suddenly asked me.

“Not at all” I said.

“Neither do I, but sometimes I feel like I can remember some of their faces since we’ve been chasing each other back and fourth for so long now” ,Nickie told him.

“You’re really smart, you know that?” I told him.

Nickie broke out in a laugh, “You humor me, Otto. You’re the smart one here. I learned everything from you after all”.

I froze and looked at him.

“You’re the one that told me about how everyone who’s fighting in this war is fighting for what they think is the right thing and how everyone is taught different at military camp. How everyone is fighting for their country, whether good or bad. How everyone is human…that was all you, Otto”.  Nickie’s gaze went back to the sunrise in thought.

“Hey, Nick- ” I pondered.

Nickie backed away, his eyes still staring straight forward. He felt around for his bayonet, grabbed me and pressed me against his chest, and waited. He was waiting for something.

After hearing a few distant gunshots, I knew it was time for the endless cycle of trench warfare to start again.

After a few moments of silence, I whispered to him, “Do you think they’re coming?”

“Maybe, maybe. Just wait for our General to sound off the whistle” Nickie whispered back.

After a few quiet moments of gunshots coming forth, Nickie and I decided it was time to wake the others.

When we got there the others already had themselves clad with their weapons.

“Are we going to cross over?” Nickie asked them.

A few men nodded silently as the rest began to climb over and weave their way around their barbed wired fence.

“A few people already ran over, we should invade their trench before they have a chance to get into ours. You boys go on ahead” the General said to us, then he turned to the rest, “Prepare yourselves for the possibility of a mustard gas attack. Do not take off your masks under any circumstance”.

The younger and obviously more naïve soldiers nodded and stayed put as they were told.

Nickie had a strong build for someone as lanky as himself, he climbed ahead and helped pull me up after him.

“Ready for another round?” Nickie asked me.

I simply grabbed onto Nickie’s hand and ran with him; arm in arm outside the safety of our trench.

No man’s land was a rather simple construct. It was made of mud, stagnant water, debris, and corpses…

Nothing was cleaned up, no one had time to.

Nickie and I maneuvered around the land, we both looked out for someone ahead of him who were wearing a sort of different uniform; one that wasn’t German.

A French soldier came towards us and Nickie quickly thrusted the knife top of the bayonet into the man’s throat.

I knew Nickie cared even though he didn’t show much remorse. I knew Nickie well enough that he never wanted to kill, it was as if I was Nickie’s only motivation to take away someone’s life.

The horizon of the other trench was coming up, we were so close but what was our goal?

We would always run back.

Just as I was going to tell Nickie about how close we were, Nickie grabbed me and swung me around.

“Otto-“

He didn’t even finish his last words never the less say something meaningful when the bullet that blew through his left eye cut him off; killing him instantly.

His body went limp and fell right on top of me, pressing me against the ground. I could feel the blood pour from his face onto my own. It was sickening, I wanted to gag.

“Nickie!” I cried out, not wanting to face the reality at first. I pushed Nickie off and dragged him into a shallow ditch in hopes of recollecting myself in order to get Nickie back to the trench.

Nickie had died with his eyes wide open.

His left socket was completely bloody and his head looked like it could have been completely cracked open, there was no chance that his brain wasn’t damaged…If anything, the substance oozing out of his eye socket was part of his brain.

I didn’t want to believe it, but it was true.

Nickie was dead…Just like that he was dead.

To think, human lives were so fragile.

“N-No, Nick-Nickie, no, oh god no!” I sobbed, pressing his head against Nickie’s un-beating chest.

My choked out cries soon turned into vomiting as I felt vile pushing up through my throat.

Eventually I managed to gather Nickie’s dead body against my back and carried him back to the trench. The worst part of it was Nickie’s body was quite literally a shield for many bullets compacted against Nickie’s back as I tried my best to hurry back somewhere safe.

Nickie still protected me even after death.

I climbed over them and did my best not to let my knees collapse under myself.

Under no circumstance did I want to drop him.

No one talked to me. They all knew how close we were to each other and how many nights we spent just talking to each other.

They let me lay him down where we had first met each other; That same spot where we always camped out.

I grabbed one of the shovels we were equipped with and used it to dig Nickie a grave.

I just sat there digging for what felt like hours.

I closed Nickie’s one remaining eye so it sort of looked like he was sleeping despite the obvious injury that killed him.

I dropped him into the hole, how undignified…

Once Nickie was gone and buried a few other soldiers gathered around me and lowered their pickelhaube helmets for respect.

The war ended November 11th, 1918.

Germany formally surrendered and the treaty of the Treaty of Versailles was signed.

The second world war was sparked. What once was known as the Great War became known as the first world war for there was already a second and more devastating war on its way.

Soon that ended on its own and Germany was split in half.

On November 9th, 1989, just two days before the first world war had ended the Berlin wall had come down.

After that things finally seemed peaceful.

I could watch the sunrise without a care in the world. A world without war was truly something to appreciate.

I attended many memorials in my day but never had I returned to the trenches…

That was…until now…

…

“Nickie” I let out a sigh.

Beth’s head darted back and fourth; Looking for the person I was talking to.

I stared down at the dirt bellow, “I know you’re still down there. I’m sorry it took me so long to see you again, so much has happened”.

My vision was growing blurry and an uncomfortable ringing noise blew up in my ears.

“A-After all these years you were the only friend I ever had. I knew no one else could keep me company the way you did…” I talked to it, I envisioned Nickie was nothing more than just a skeleton hidden under the dirt.

“I did get a sweetheart. She was a pretty young lady her face was littered with freckles. I had 4 kids, 8 grandkids, and 2 great-grandkids. I guess you could say I’ve had a pretty worth-while life” I said to him, “But you Nickie…You didn’t. You didn’t get to live your life at all. You died to give me a life…And I think I lived it well, like you would have wanted me t-to…”

My arms and legs grew numb and my head crooked to the side.

“Grandpa!”

I had no idea what happened after death.

I was once placed in a position where I had to kill to prevent being killed myself.

Would I see those who loved me or those who resented me for killing them selfishly?

Would Nickie be there smiling at me or would he be frowning upon me?

All I knew was I was joining an old friend of mine…And if I got to see Nickie himself in a peaceful heaven where the colors pink and purple littered the sky as an eternal sunset…Then I’d be perfectly at peace with how my life played out.

I was joining a world without war.