Hawaii Trip | Teen Ink

Hawaii Trip

November 7, 2023
By Lillian37298 BRONZE, Cupertino California, California
Lillian37298 BRONZE, Cupertino California, California
1 article 0 photos 0 comments


The cove looked like glass, but I knew it was anything but still. As I slowly waded into the water I felt a soft flutter around my ankles. I looked down and was immediately transfixed by the sight of dozens of small fish swimming about. They didn’t seem to pay my legs any mind as they went about their daily swim and feeding. I was amused by how little I mattered to them. I waded further into the water and put on my snorkeling mask. As I descended down below the surface I was struck by the kaleidoscope of colors that greeted me. There were large clusters of purple, yellow, and blue as far as I could see. There were more creatures darting around the coral than I could even count. While I swam I could feel myself being transported to another world. I left the surface world behind me and entered an amazing realm of beauty and perfection. 


The author's comments:

This was Hawaii and me swimming there. 

My Set Piece

 


For my set piece I wanted to capture the feeling of wonder and awe. I tried to use descriptive language to paint a picture for my audience. I wanted them to feel like they were there. I tried playing around with words that would show rather than tell what I was experiencing. I chose the word flutter to convey the soft feeling the fish created as they swam around me. I chose the word darting to really show what the fish were doing. I think it's a better verb than just swimming.


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