Most children don't have a worry in the world. Running to their parents at the end of the school day as their parents welcome them with open arms. So pure and so innocent, they don't know the problems they will encounter when they walk through the school doors back into the real world.
  

I had just turned 4 years old when it happened. The day of my life I can never forget, almost 14 years ago and the images and the fear is still so vivid in my mind. It started off like any other day getting ready for Pre-K with my mom, eating pancakes together, laughing and watching television before my grandmother came to pick me up. Kissing my mother goodbye and getting into my grandma's car, driving to the church where my school was and running out of the car to all of my friends without a care in the world I slammed the car door shut, waved bye to my grandma and went inside the church building.
  

The day went by so quickly that I didn't notice my father was here to pick me up, it was somewhat strange to me that he was there, he never came to pick me up from school other than that one day. It was as if he had a fear of being around educators, that they would doubt his intelligence and downgrade who he was a person, but that day none of it mattered to him...he walked in with his shoulders pushed back and his words slurring, I ran up to hug him but he didn't want a hug he wanted to leave so he grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the building. We got in the car and he sped off, the car was swerving and I was bouncing back and forth. That was my first time sitting in the passenger seat, I could barely see over the dashboard then it happened we approached the traffic light. I use to love traffic lights, in my Pre-K class we played red light, green light all the time. This was the first time my father didn't say “red light manda”, we came to an abrupt stop then the light turned green and I said “green light dad” but he didn't respond. He just sat there while all the other cars started beeping their horns. Why wasn't the car moving? I started screaming “dad, daddy wake up. please wake up”, he didn't say a word. I grabbed his cellphone, I knew my home phone number but I didn't know how to call. During those 5 minutes in the car at 4 years old I felt every emotion someone can have, hatred, sadness, loneliness, fear, and anxiety all at once. I was stuck in the car in the middle of the street with my father who was sleeping while all the other cars were racing by.
   

I had to do something, I couldn't just sit there in the middle of the road any longer so I opened my door, grabbed my book bag and started walking. The walk felt as if it would never end, I knew where I was going but I needed some sense of guidance. I walked up towards the crosswalk and as the cars raced by I felt as if I was being held back, somewhere between that moment and 5 minutes I found myself on the ground crying. 
  

I was still but so shaken up, when I opened my eyes right in front of me was a lady sitting on the ground with me. She was light skinned with light brown eyes and a big beautiful smile. For the first time since I left school I felt a sense of relief, though I didn't know anything about her other than the fact that she was sitting on the ground with me I felt comfortable as if an angel was sent from heaven coming down to make sure I did not cross that intersection.
  

Shortly after I started confiding in her 2 policemen came, one went over to my father and woke him up the other stayed with me and wouldn't let me go. His grip on my hand was so tight I couldn't even move, I started crying again when they were arresting my father. I couldn't help but think why would they arrest him for falling asleep, he was just tired you know? That's when my innocence kicked in I thought he was tired and not drunk, I thought he smelt horribly because he forgot to brush his teeth and I thought I was going to get in trouble when he woke up for leaving the car but I didn't. When the police officer was holding my hand just as tight as my father had the tearing came pouring out again, he got on his knees down to my level and asked why I was crying and I said “because this is my fault, I should have never left the car”. He responded to me saying “you did the right thing princess”, if I did the right thing why did I feel so horrible?
  

Shortly after that we got into the car and I was in the passenger seat once again, this time I felt safe. He asked me for my name, address and phone number, I gave it to him and we started to play a game on the ride home. As we were driving I kept on telling him where to turn to get home and he was so amazed. He never seen a 4 year old so aware and coherent, as we pulled into my driveway he came around and opened my door. Once again hand and hand we walked to my doorstep and rang the doorbell, my mother came downstairs crying. As soon as she saw me she picked me up and promised to never let me go again. I went upstairs to pet Murphy while mom finished talking to the policeman, right before he left he came upstairs and gave me a hug and finished wiping away my tears, I waved bye to the last time I ever saw him and to this day I still do not know who he is. Bad things happen to good people which will take up a few pages in your story but you still have the rest to write.
  

To this day I still have so many questions about what else went on that day: who the police officer was and who was that kind hearted middle age lady who saved my life? Why did my father pick me up and not my grandmother? Why did my mother let him come back to the house after 9 months? Why does he blame me for getting out of the car? He says i'm the reason he went to jail but it's his own fault. I was a child who didn't know any better: I feared him therefore I had to get myself out of the situation that day in the car. My father and I Haven't talked in 4 years. Things just aren't the same. They haven't been the same since that day I stopped clinging to him and moved closer to my grandfather; he's the one who has basically played the father role in my life for the past 14 years. I'm not angry with my father anymore, at first I was but you have to accept the things in life you can not change and I can not change him therefore I keep my distance from him. I don't have any regrets or hatred; i’m kind of happy i’ve have this experience because he broke my heart before any man could so now I know the qualities to not look for in a man due to his mistakes. It was all a learning experience and yes I did not see it back then but now that i'm older it all makes sense. He never cared about me and that day he proved that he didn't want me in his life nor did he want to be in mine.