Yellow Playset | Teen Ink

Yellow Playset

June 2, 2015
By upupAWAY BRONZE, Lynden, Washington
upupAWAY BRONZE, Lynden, Washington
1 article 0 photos 4 comments

I was so so excited to be going to real school for the first time, my stomach was filled with dancing butterflies, each one filling me with a nervous energy and wanting to please my new to be teacher I dug through all of my clothes to find something awesome and impressive  to wear. After begging my mom she relented and curled my hair while my aunt gave me a tiny butterfly necklace to wear. Never before had I thought I looked so pretty.
Getting on the bus, being all on my own sent my head spinning and all I could think was “I’m a big kid now; I’m a big kid now.” After muttering my new found motto a few thousand times I got off the bus, and walked into the school. It was a bit of a struggle trying to find my class but after enlisting in the help of a few adults I managed to find it. The teacher I had cannot remember her name for the life of me was great and greeted us with a big smile, and arranged us into several tightly packed groups as we filed into class like a herd of lambs. I quickly found my desk, sat in my desk with the precision of a bloodhound, ready to take the school year head on. A little girl with piercing blue eyes, and a lovely pink dress took the seat next to me and glanced me over. I smiled as wide as could my cheeks threatening to burst as I chirped “Hello im Felicity!”
After a moment she narrowed her eyes with a mix of anger and malice her cute blonde pigtails bouncing in aggravation as she muttered “Nice to meet you, ugly,” Venom dripping with each word. The rest of the group giggled in joy and began to join in whispering to one another words of knifes and hate. I just sat in my desk, shrinking down into the chair, my previous bravo gone as I swallowed a cold rock down my throat. My head was spinning and the butterflies from earlier came back almost making me puke up my cheerios I had for breakfast. As if sensing my weakness the whispering grew louder and I managed to make out a few words like, fatso, loser, ugly and such. I fought back hot tears and tried to focus on the teacher hoping that learning the alphabet would drown out the words behind my back.
After what felt like a year being stuffed in that room it was recess and I raced out hoping that it would get better once everyone was playing. Brian Nemila, a kid from the class next to me was standing under the schools dingy, bright yellow playset by himself hiding in the darkness and playing with the gravel underneath it. Eager to make a friend I silently crept over, not wanting to draw attention from the rest of the kids and introduced myself, “Hello! My name is Felicity!” I said with as much enthusiasm I could muster.
He looked at me with blank brown eyes, “I'm Brian, and I don’t like you,” and with that he took off to the duty who supervising the mob of shrieking children and tugged on her arm desperately. She leaned down and he whispered something in her ear glancing over at me. A deep scowl formed on her brow and she straightened her stance, walked over dragging me from under the playset despite my protests and put me in the corner. I begged for her to listen that I didn’t do anything wrong, but she ignored me and kept me in the corner. All I did was cry silently and watched as my tears trickle down the grimy bricks like a tiny personal river,as the year went on behind me.
The next year I did manage to make one friend. During a recess I noticed a girl sitting on the edge of the pavement crying silently like i did much of last year. Her shoulder shook with effort to not make a single noise. I chewed my lip debating on whether the risk of being shot down again was worth it or not, but I decided to go over sitting next to her and gently rub small circles onto her back like my mother would do as I whispered "Are you okay?"
She nodded and looked up her green eyes red rimmed as she wiped them with the back of her dirty sleeve. "Its just that I have no friends... I'm all alone..."
I felt a small spark of hope grow warm in my belly as I eagerly replied, "I will be your friend!"
She smiled and grabbed my hand tightly as if to make sure I was real and I squeezed back. "Friends forever?"
I nodded and stood up dragging her up with me, "I promise!" And with that promise still ringing in the air, we tore off to the same yellow playground, the school year already looking so much brighter. 


The author's comments:

Bullying is something that I have suffered from my entire life but its so easy to forget that there are good people in the world. That is why I wrote this. To remember the sweet things and the best people who have helped me make it this far.


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This article has 3 comments.


on Aug. 30 2015 at 8:45 pm
princessa1101 GOLD, Menomonie, Wisconsin
10 articles 1 photo 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Human rights are women's rights, and women's rights are human rights!" ~ Hillary Rodham Clinton

Beila is correct, you should try adding some character details, and there are things like grammar, capital letters, and periods that you should check in order for some more fluidity in the story.

on Jun. 22 2015 at 4:17 am
upupAWAY BRONZE, Lynden, Washington
1 article 0 photos 4 comments
Thank you for the great feed back. I will be the first to admit grammer is not my strong suit :V in any means!!

Beila BRONZE said...
on Jun. 21 2015 at 9:48 pm
Beila BRONZE, Palo Alto, California
3 articles 0 photos 516 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." -Mark Twain

I like the idea behind this piece, but it's a little too cliche. Try to add some interesting character details in order to make me connect with the story rather than dismiss it as "another bullying story." Everyone knows what this feels like; what makes your story stand out? Also, be careful with grammar: things like commas and capitalization need to be done correctly so that a story flows easily. That said, the idea is fantastic, and your writing has some great moments. Keep focusing on refining your writing and bringing out more of the talent I see here. :)