The thing about suffering is timing. You won't feel anything but weariness for a long time; not happiness, not sadness, not anger. Just crippling indifference about everything, about nothing. And then just when you want to tell yourself your life is getting back together, you finally break. You'll be sitting in your room one night and all of a sudden the weeks and weeks of suppressed feelings and avoiding the obvious come down on you all at once, and you'll want to be finished, done, over with. I'm not going to write to you one of those cliches that assure, "the pain gets better," because no, it's probably going to hurt in different ways or in different stages for the rest of your life -- it's not like a shallow cut on your knee that heals and leaves no evidence of past injury behind. Frankly, it's going to mess you up a little; maybe a lot, but that's okay. You learn to deal with that hurt and that suffering, and some day you're going to find that you haven't let yourself be consumed in it for a week, for a month, for a year. I'm not going to sit here and write to you that getting to this point is going to be easy, because it's not. But I will tell you that it's worth it, because you're going to turn out to be a damn good person, and you're going to be damn good at whatever you decide to do; and above all, you're going to be damn good at being able to love others and yourself. Take heart in knowing that letting yourself break is imperative to your healing; take heart in knowing that these trials have and will continue to shape and mold you into who you are. So feel the pain, get angry, and don't be afraid to cry a little; but you'd better hold fast, because you are going to be somebody.