Could I Have Made a Difference? | Teen Ink

Could I Have Made a Difference?

February 10, 2015
By PTsaxplayer GOLD, Boiling Springs, South Carolina
PTsaxplayer GOLD, Boiling Springs, South Carolina
14 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I am as old as I've ever been, but I'm as young as I'll ever be." -Robert O'Neill

We were all into drugs, but that’s as far as any of us went.  I and David were both nearly the same age (David was a little older).  All our lives we had both been bullied the only true difference between me and David was our childhoods.  David grew up in a household where anything went.  His own mother would buy him cigarettes and Grizzly Wintergreen whenever he wanted.  However this being so Dave also lived in an environment where he was torn down and left feeling worthless.  I always thought I had a bad childhood because I had “strict” parents and I couldn’t get by with anything especially not smoking or dipping.  I always thought of David as being so lucky for being able to get by with anything.  Little did I know that this would one day be his downfall.

When I first met Dave we were freshman, neither of us had many friends and both of us seemed to have a love for the same kinds of music.  Though we were both polar opposites we seemed to get along fairly well.  I remember that I and he used to go into the bathrooms at school together and we thought that it was the coolest thing ever that we were smoking on school property and could get away with it. 

I had known Doris for quite some time before I met David, I didn’t know her too well but, I knew she was a very funny and we got along so I had no issue claiming her as my friend.  When David and Doris met it was like they were a perfect match they were the cutest couple ever and it was as though they both completed each other.  During our sophomore year I, David, and Doris all started to become even closer.  We sat at lunch with each other every day and we would also be in the parking lots in the morning (usually up to no good.)  I remember David used to talk about his cousin Eddie.  From what I understood Eddie was in his early thirties and mentally unstable.  David used to make fun of his cousin being a retard all the time and I can recall him on multiple occasions making jokes on how one day he was just going to put him out of his misery.  I always thought that David was just joking

I remember it like it was yesterday it was October 14, 2014.  David had just given me a can of Grizzly wintergreen and his girlfriend Doris, had given me and another friend some cigarettes.  It was almost like a dare from David for me to go into our school parking lot and smoke.  I of course like an idiot took his dare and went out and did it.  Now at the school I went to at the time it was no big deal to do this because usually the guard on duty was never watching and you could get away with anything.  However on this day for some reason unknown the guard was actually watching and I was called into the school and questioned.  My parents were then later called and found out about this and several other incidents that had occurred in the past year which lead them to pull me out of school.

A year has since then passed and in this time I have started to truly find God and get to know him better.  Many of my past relationships have ended and I have found new ones that only reassure my faith in Christ.  I never really thought too much about David after that, I guess I was just trying to let my past rest.  I recently got a text from a friend at my old school saying, “Dave has been arrested and charged for murder.”  Now my first thought of this was no way.  David was one of the most laid back people I have ever met.  I had seen him take hell at school from bullies and he always just had the, “I don’t care” mentality.  So needless to say when I heard this I couldn’t believe it.  When I got home the first thing I did was type in “David Boggs” into the search engine and sure enough it pulled up his and his girlfriend’s picture.  Breaking down in tears I started thinking about the conversations I had carried on with David about him killing his cousin Eddie and he had carried through with his threats.

Looking back on this now I can see where I failed to be his true friend.  I knew what we used to do was wrong yet I promoted it not only as a friend, but as a Christian.  Which makes me think this, “Are we destined to be who we are base on how we grow up or by the people that we surround ourselves with?  And could faith could have saved them both?”  I once said while giving my testimony that the very people who will promote sin in our lives are the very people that will let us down in the end.  Looking back now I realize that I was the person that promoted his sin in his life.  Now I know what has happened is not my fault.  How could it be?  I mean he made the decision to pull the trigger and take his cousins life.  But what I am wondering right now is that if I had been a better friend when I had the chance, would things have turned out differently?  Would there have been a slight impact in his life that made him decide to take a better route? 

Another thing I would really like to know is; how many cases around the world happen like this each year because of bullying.  Earlier I said I have endured bullying, but luckily I have had friends and family that have stood by me and built me up when I have been broken.  David didn’t have this at all.  In most cases with serial killers or people that start to kill they have either had a person or persons that have impacted their lives enough in what they say and do towards them that they one day snap and start to kill.  If you are reading this I encourage you not to hurt people as a friend or as a bully because what you have done or said to them may impact their life dramatically.    

I am not saying any of this as a perfect person.  In fact I am still broken and severely torn by this traumatic event, but that’s why I am writing this because I find it comforting that I can tell the world this story and at least somebody will relate.  I am also not going to pretend that in these moments I am using my faith as a crutch because that’s not what faith is.  Your beliefs are not only for you to run to in a time of need but, they are also supposed to be a way of life.  I pray for each of you that read this that this may help you in some way.  I love you all.  God bless

The author's comments:

These events have taken place recently and are very much true.  My hope is that someone else will be as impacted as I have about this and have a change of heart.  God bless.

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