I'm Sorry Grandma | Teen Ink

I'm Sorry Grandma

November 12, 2014
By Cameandgonesmarty ELITE, North Vancouver, Other
Cameandgonesmarty ELITE, North Vancouver, Other
225 articles 4 photos 239 comments

Favorite Quote:
"One day, your life will flash before your eyes; make sure it's worth watching."


Grandma says she loves me because I am always smiling. She loves that I am always laughing, and that I am always happy. She says to me, "Always smile, darling granddaughter, because there is nothing more wonderful that happiness."
But would my grandma love me less if she knew I don't always smile? Would her idea of my essence change if she knew I have demons, too? Behind my laughs and smiles and jokes, can she see the hollowness behind my eyes and can she see that I feel so much at once that it's almost as if I don't feel anything at all anymore? Does that even make sense? Would she understand?
Grandma, I love you, but I don't always smile. I can't. I promise, I tried for over seventeen years to be selfless. I tried for over a decade to smile, and to put all my worries aside - to cast them away into the flames like firewood, and burn them up so that they didn't leave traces, but I can't seem to of it anymore.
Please don't love me any less.



Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 2 comments.


on Nov. 19 2014 at 7:05 pm
Cameandgonesmarty ELITE, North Vancouver, Other
225 articles 4 photos 239 comments

Favorite Quote:
"One day, your life will flash before your eyes; make sure it's worth watching."

thanks :) .

on Nov. 18 2014 at 8:50 pm
ShadowBlossom ELITE, Boca Raton, Florida
122 articles 0 photos 42 comments

Favorite Quote:
Memento Mori- It means that nothing lasts forever, no one is immortal, sooner or later you will die and things will come to an end. It also helps you realize that while you are living you should do the most with your life, live life to the fullest.

It's really good, the feeling of having to be someone else to make someone happy is understood and how it can wear on you, become too much until you can't "pretend" anymore.