Fear. It’s one word with four letters that can stop you from accomplishing your dreams. One question that can define you as a person is “Will you let fear stop you?”

My heart is pounding out of my chest thinking of how in a matter of minutes we are going to be pulling into the parking lot at gymnastics and I would have to throw my back handspring. I know that I don’t really have to throw my back handspring but I also know I can’t let down my cheer team, my cheer coach, my parents and mostly myself. My legs are shaking from thinking of all the possible ways I could get hurt if I messed up when I tried to throw it. I am getting out of the passenger door of the car and walking inside gymnastics. I try signing in with a semi readable name but since I’m shaking it is a little difficult. In the waiting room I’m sitting in a green chair until my coach is ready for my gymnastics class to help me get my back handspring. Try to relax by watching some of the other gymnasts tumble across the mat, swing on the bars, flip on and off the beam, bounce and do skills on the trampoline, or watch some practice skills into the foam pit and struggle to get out, I thought to myself.

There was only two more minutes until my class would walk into the gym. I could hear my heart rapidly beating and my hands began to shake again. The instructors came into the waiting room to get all the people in the group. I stood up from the light lime green plastic chair and walked out slowly my hands shaking slightly with every step.

”Let’s start with a longer stretch today,” my instructor recommends.

The crowd of girls in my class walked over to the big, thick blue mat with springs underneath it, the springs help you bounce up a little if you jump on it hard enough. First I started to stretch my arms out making sure that I was nice and limber so I wouldn’t be tense while doing my back handspring. Then I stretched my legs so I could jump high in the air that way, I would have a lot of time to catch myself in the handstand position. Lastly I stretched out my wrists for a long time because I will have to be on top of my wrists a lot and if I don’t stretch them enough I will be regretting it.
I waited in line to get spotted (my instructor helped me jump up to land on my hands and push me over) on a few of my back handsprings. I wasn’t nervous at all when I was spotted because I knew I was safe and there was no way with the instructor helping me I would get hurt. I bent down like I was sitting in a chair and launched myself into a vertical position with my arms and hands, ready to hit the ground and go into a handstand. I land in the handstand and pop off my hand and land on my feet like I was told to. Do we have
“You did it by yourself! I’m not doing anything to help you. I was just standing here so you would do it,” my instructor told me.

I smiled thinking that this would satisfy everyone but I knew that wouldn’t satisfy me personally. The only way I would meet my own expectations was to throw it all by myself without people to help me. I did four more back handsprings with a spot exactly the same as the first time.
“ Good.” or “Great” and “ I’m telling you, there is nothing more I can do to help you... you have it.” My instructor would say each time I did my back handspring.

I won’t be happy with myself if I do get another spot so it’s now or never No more spot, I thought to myself.

I quickly ran over to the drinking fountain and decided took a nice long, refreshing drink of ice cold water because I was so tired. I shaked out my arms and rolled out my neck to relax my muscles. I walked over to a portion of the big blue mat and faced the white brick wall. I put my hands in a tight fist raging with anger at myself for not doing my back handspring earlier. I focused on the steps I was going to do that would lead me to accomplishing my back handspring safely. I was now staring blankly into the wall I thought, Okay all you need to do is sit, stretch with my arms up and tight, catch myself in a handstand, and pop off my hands to land on my feet. You could break your neck or even worse. Push that away, I argued. All of a sudden, displayed on the white brick in front of me, I could picture myself throwing it.
“Hurry up let’s go” I told myself in such a soft whisper that I questioned if the words came out of my mouth.

I started breathing deeply in and out. Here I go. I started to say my cheer counts so I would sit down to jump on one. Five, six, seven, eight, ONE! I yelled in my head. I did nothing. Let’s try this again I told myself. I paused Five, five,six, seven, eight ONE! I sat down but stepped back to catch myself.

“Uuuggghhh” I grunted, frustrated with myself.

No I can’t do that. I got down on the ground and did ten push ups to punish myself. I got up took another deep breath and shook out my arms again. I was once again ready but now time was going by, there was only ten more minutes and if I threw it, I would want to do it a few times so I would get comfortable with it. I need to throw this NOW!!! I yelled at myself in my head. You’ve got this, I explained to motivate myself. I felt my heart flying out of my chest beating what seemed like four beats per second! I took in a big breath and slowly let it out to calm myself. I repositioned myself once again and I was determined that this time I would throw it.
Five. Five. Five Stop that! I began Five, five six, seven, eight, ONE. I sat with my heart once again leaping out of my body, Don’t step back, just jump NOW STRETCH! I ordered in my mind. I kept going. I was now completely off the ground with all my musceles tight. As I tightened them I could feel my legs come closer together, my stomach muscels keeping me in an arch, and my arms ready to catch my weight on them. I began to get excited. You’re not done yet, I explained to myself in a cocky manner. I landed on my hands and hit the handstand PUSH OFF YOUR HANDS! I yelled at myself in my mind. Gathering all my strength I had left from being so physically and mentally tired I pushed off my hands and landed on my feet.

“I did it , I did it!” I yelled with a huge grin while running over to my friends to give them a hug. “Go do it again” they requested while pointing to the corner where I just was.
“Okay.” This was the only thing I managed to say while still with an elephant sized grin on my face.

Sprinting over to the corner I got ready. My fears trying to creep back in my mind once again. I closed my eyes for a brief second and thought No, you just did it. Now do it again, people now can see it. I shoved out my fears and opened my eyes. I could feel the thriving fire and desire all throughout my eyes. With the anger and fire I once again sat and jumped not even worrying about the counts. I did it.

“Yes!” I whispered to myself.

My friends all at once looked at me saying
“Good job.” or “Cool” or “Do it again Coach always says you have to do a skill three times before you know you have it for sure.”

Remembering that my cheer coach always did say that a walked back over to the corner once again and got ready. I could feel the adrenaline inside me as I began to shake from all of it.
“Five, six, seven, eight, one, two, and, three” Cheered my friends on the sideline. YES, YES. I told myself so excited that I now officially had my back handspring. I looked at the clock there was only one more minute so still with that huge grin on my face I walked across the gym and into lobby, I picked up my water bottle at took big gulps of refreshing cold water.

Accompanied by my friends, I walked outside to the car. I explained to my dad that I had finally thrown my back handspring. With a smile on his face he told me how proud he was of me for just doing it. After I described what had happened and my dad finished telling how proud he was, it got quiet as we ran out of things to say. Now there was only the car radio playing softly. Staring out of the car window I thought of that question and came up with my answer Never again will I let fear control me, I won’t let fear stop me from accomplishing anything. One by one the street lights were becoming lost in the distance. I need to find a quote or an idea to inspire me when fear is trying to stop me.

Later I found this and still always use it and hope it can inspire you. From the movie After Earth, Will Smith’s character known as Cypher Raige, he says, “.....danger is very real, but fear is a choice.”