I wish I had cherished every moment with her. At least the memories remain with me. I miss not having the opportunity to drive down and see her, especially on the days that I need her. She was the most caring and the most loving woman. She would be willing to do anything. She was my grandma.

I never thought she would pass on to be with the Great Lord, her Savior, especially after she had recovered after the first time the doctors said she had only a day left. My grandma’s comment was simply, “I want to be able to go home. I want to return to the house and cook my own meals, and take care of myself.” That night I went home to catch up on some sleep, stressing on her health and how she would be in the hospital. My parents spent another night staying with her to make sure she had someone. The next day a miracle had happened. Her health had gotten better, and that evening she would be able to come home. Nobody had understood any of this. We were shocked, shedding tears of joy. Excitement had spread through the family, unable to understand how such an incredible blessing could happen.

She came home in the evening still tired, but glad to be home. Seeing my grandma at her house, knowing that there was a possible chance that she wouldn’t ever be able to come back home, gave me a greater appreciation for the lord. I looked back at all the times that my grandma had been there for me. She had been at all my livestock shows to support my successes. She would always ask how I had done, at my judging competitions; even if I didn’t place she was still proud of me. Now that she was home, I could not stand being away from her. I wanted all the time with her I could have not knowing how long it would be. I didn’t mind going to go grocery shopping, gathering the eggs from the chicken house, cooking breakfast, lunch, or dinner, and going to Sunday church with her. Just being with her meant the world to me. I was already extremely close to her, but the relationship between my grandmother and I grew stronger. I found out some things about her that summer that I may have never known if I hadn’t had the time with her. She told me how she met my grandpa, and about my great great grandparents’ had moving here from Germany. My grandma became so much more than just my grandma.

It happened three months later, I still remember as if it was yesterday. It was at eleven o’clock in the morning. I was going down to see my grandma at her house, and that’s when I realized something was wrong. Grandma had a paper towel against her arm and bruises on her other arm. Then I noticed the dead grass on her shirt. It was obvious that she had fallen. I asked her what had happened, and she told me she had fallen. She said she was expecting me to be down to do the morning chores. I had already done the chores and had went and seen her earlier. This was a major warning that she had lost her memory. I was frightened and ask her if she hurt anywhere. She told me that her chest was hurting her, and motioned over her ribs. Worried, I called my mom because she was off work, and not too far away. I told her what happened. In about five minutes she was there. Mom and my aunt took Grandma to the ER; I didn’t have any idea what to do. I couldn’t call my mom and ask her if my grandma was ok, I couldn’t do anything, so I sat down and began to think. I realized that it may be more severe this time, so I began to cry. I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore. It was the worst feeling ever. I couldn’t do anything about what had just happened; all I could do was worry.

My grandmother wasn’t able to come home. She would have to stay in the main care unit of the hospital, and then when she was well enough, from there, she would be moved to the nursing home to be under hospice care full time. This was heartbreaking for me. She wasn’t the same independent person. Her health decreased every day, until the day she passed on to be with my grandpa in heaven. Even though it was extremely hard for me, I had to block out all of the hospital memories, just to remember that she was the beautiful, loving, independent, elderly woman who loved everyone and everything. The day’s started to pass, and then the weeks, then the months after the funeral. I felt lost without my grandma. I had no idea how to move on. That’s when I realized my grandmother would always be with me, smiling down from heaven with no pain and no regrets. She would be with me anywhere at any time. I have the great memories that I will keep and cherish every day. I will remember everything she taught me, as well as the times that we spent together. Now I know that I will always be able to have my grandma with me. She will be more than just my grandma; she will always be my fallen guardian.