Don’t mention love. Eyes turn green and glossy in its absence, blind in its presence. For me, it’s much more complicated. I show pictures of him, and they say I’m lucky. If they only knew…
I have cried more since I’ve been with him. I have spent days waiting for the sun to set – the night means one less day till summer. I am lonely, but loved. He is mine, but he’s gone. I am jealous of the couples holding hands on the way to class. I envy the ones that go out on the weekends. Sometimes I even covet the singles.
No one has told me yet that it isn’t worth it, but I see the thought run behind their eyes. They smile and say, “That’s so cute,” but really, it’s not. It’s sad – even if it works in the end.
And now, here I am again, writing my feelings, because saying it gets old after awhile. I miss you…I love you so much…I wish you were here. It’s all cliché.
So don’t mention love, or you will see my eyes turn green and glossy, and you will think that I am blind.