Growing up I have never had an issue with performing. I enjoyed being the center of attention. I enjoyed the entertainment. I was obsessed with the idea of being on a stage and the only glimpse of light was from the stage lighting. I enjoyed the hot air that came from the giant light bulbs onstage. From a young age, I had a love for choir and dance. In the past I tried other sports such as swimming and gymnastics but dance was so much different. You weren't in a gymnasium or a facility. You were in a dark room that led into a giant auditorium. I never felt so disappointed after making a mistake. Onstage it felt like it mattered even more than it would've in any other sport. Somehow through all of the pressure, I enjoyed it and loved the sport for that reason. I loved fierce competition and waking up at 6am to get in the car and drive to a random convention center 40 minutes away to make tik toks all day, eat random junk food sold at concession stands in your jazz costume. I enjoyed that a bunch of kids were wearing full face makeup in weird costumes, slick back egg hair, mostly barefoot on icy, cold tile in the middle of january was our normal. I remember many winter days where I would look outside the convention door windows and it would casually be snowing and yet everyone in that building couldn't be anymore hot. Maybe it was the hotel looking carpet or the amount of people that made it seem hotter. The amount of middle age moms with their starbucks, their slick back bun and sunglasses. What I enjoyed the most was the feeling on stage. The feeling of relying on muscle memory and holding onto the hope you don't absolutely forget your number and just stand there looking clueless. I can proudly say I have never forgotten a dance. I always tell myself that it is because I know my dances inside and out and if anything were to go wrong, that my body would do its own thing. Sometimes our nerves make us second guess ourselves but no matter what, I know my dance and I know my body knows it. Sometimes, i find myself doing a completely unrelated move in a tik tok dance or something but it'll remind me of a dance i competed in years ago. Next thing I know, I'll be doing a dance I did years ago in the middle of a random 8 count. Dance is something that will always be with me no matter where life takes me. I enjoy the memories that it gives me. It reminds me of a happier place.