I have come to realize that experiences are not the most important things in your life, but rather the people that you share those experiences with. The people you surround yourself with mold you into the person that you become, even the bad ones. You experience events to become more knowledgeable, but the people you interact with daily help you become moral. They share their feelings with you, and you develop your own standards and expectations based on those behaviors. By growing from the good people and learning from the not-so-good ones, you can become the best and brightest version of yourself. 

    About a year and a half ago, I became involved in a toxic friendship. This person became extremely involved in my life, almost to the point where she controlled everything I did. She caused me to lose contact with the people I spent most of my life with. The people who had molded me into who I was. I persisted with the friendship because I really thought she was good for me, despite what everyone around me said. I remained oblivious to the fact that I was losing some of the most important people in my life, including my family. I spent so much time with her that I began to change things about myself. The empire I built, which included my personality, work ethic, social life, and mental health, all seemed to deteriorate because of this one person I began to share experiences with. My morals were not in the right place. My actions did not mirror someone I would want to be around. My behavior did not meet my expectations of the type of person I wanted to be. I did not like the person I had changed into, so I tried to end our friendship. Multiple attempts later, I could really start to feel myself disappearing, along with the people around me. A few months later, the person who I thought was my best friend, did something unforgivable. At last, my morals did not betray me and I knew this was wrong enough that the friendship had to stop. 

    Ever since I was young, I have believed that I possessed strong morals. And in that moment, I knew that what was happening was not right. However, I also noticed that I had grown a connection to her because I spent so much time with her. I found the situation incredibly difficult to get over, despite her actions. I knew what my end goal was- to drop the toxic friendship, move on, and never look back. At the same time though, I knew it was not going to be that easy. 

    It did not come overnight and I am not where I want to be yet, but the mindset I have now compared to one year ago has exponentially improved. I now admire my progress and do not strive for perfection. I have recently found a quote that I now live by: “you do not wake up and become the butterfly”. This quote shows me that no matter how dark of a place you think you’re in, the sun will always rise again tomorrow. You do not need to be fully healed or happy overnight, but small steps in the right direction can lead to amazing places. I have learned to cherish the people I have in my life right now and to stay close to the people I can grow from. By putting myself in a more positive environment with people who inspire me, I believe I can become the best version of myself. If you cannot find it in yourself to carry on, look to others. Perhaps the light you needed has been shining bright all along, you just haven’t looked up.