High school Sweetheart

I had seen her before in my eighth grade english class. She was the most beautiful person I had ever seen and I had the urge to talk to her. Sadly, I was too shy to say anything. I had an overwhelming fear of rejection, so asking her out would be difficult.  I remember walking into my ninth grade math class and seeing her again. My heart pounded like an army marching into war. Although I knew I was supposed to move to a higher math class, I fought it. I decided to stay and get to know her. I have the most boring object, the golf pencil, to thank. She was playing around with her friends, and a stray golf pencil struck me. I decided to make this a chance to talk to her so I threw it back. Had I known something so insignificant could completely change my life I would have thrown the pencil first. 

She was in most of my classes, but my favorite version of her was the math one. In math we were assigned to a random group and my luck running high as she was in my group. After the project she never left. She stayed in the seat next to me. Once I had become more comfortable, our conversations would range from dumb stuff like who watched better youtubers to sharing our childhood memories. She was the most intriguing person I had ever met. Little by little, as time went by, I found myself caring more and more. I didn’t know it then, but this emotion I was feeling was love. She transformed from the cute girl in math to the girl I think about when I wake up and before I fall asleep. She was in my dreams. But I was heartbroken when I found out she had a boyfriend and I had to wait. I felt like the character, Jim, who loved Pam even though she was engaged in the show, “The Office.” When she would talk about him, it hurt me, and I wanted to leave. (Maybe I should have gone to Stamford like Jim did for a bit.) 

I knew I just had to wait. I hadn’t told her how I felt yet. Tenth grade started, and a few weeks into the school year, I walked her to the field hockey field. I was ready to make easily the scariest decision I have ever made. I confessed my feelings. She was still in a relationship, and just like Pam, she said she couldn’t be with me, but she felt the same way. She told me the next day that she broke up with her boyfriend.  I always felt like our timing was off, and I became ill with a sort of sadness that I thought would never go away. Things became awkward between us after that. I went and did my own thing for the rest of the year, and she did the same. 

When the eleventh grade came, I said enough with it and I texted her I missed her and she said she missed me, too. When she replied with those words, I actually cried a little. My love for her never dimmed. I felt the same if not stronger than freshman year. Since then, I have made the most amazing memories with her. I have spent my time learning about her, and through that, I learned more about myself. She supports me in everything I do and tells me straight up when I am about make a dumb decision. I feel very lucky to have her. I truly fell in love with my best friend. I can see spending my life with her. I am so proud  to call her my very talented girlfriend, and I am proud to say that I am very much in love with my Guadalupe . Just like Jim and Pam from “the office” we’re happily together.