It was early autumn, when the leaves were turning to hues of red and yellow. Summer had gone to sleep, bringing the warm breeze with it. The air that whirled through the sky was now crisp and cool. The heavens turned gray, and school was just beginning. I stepped out of the car with my new stiff converse hitting the school grounds. With my blue shades hiding my hazel eyes, and my cat ears adorning my flaming red hair, I was ready to own my eighth grade year. In the past years, I had always been known as the outcast, or so I believed I was, and I was determined to change that this new year. I would keep all my friends and make new ones, becoming a well known girl instead of the outcast. What I didn’t realize was that I would undertake a hardship. As all hardships cannot be avoided, I would learn a valuable lesson, and change my eighth grade plan for the better.

As soon as I saw her, I ran and wrapped my best friend, Emma, in a warm hug. With the summer long gone, and our class schedule being the same, we were ready to take on the dreaded jailhouse called school. We walked into the once big doors of the building. This was our last year in the middle school before high school, and it was almost bittersweet walking in. I smiled behind my shades as Emma and I settled into our first class.

Over the first few weeks, Emma and I sat next to each other in class, passed notes, and giggled silently to pass the ticking clock. Our friendship was special because we were one of a kind. We never really hung out with other friend groups because we were so close. I didn’t believe we needed anything else other than each other. Then one day, my world turned upside down. As a piece of paper slipped between our fingers, I saw that Emma looked a bit guilty. Uh oh. I unfolded the note and my eyes skimmed the page.

“Payton,” the writing said, “I think I’m going to start hanging out with another friend group. I don’t want this to ruin our friendship, but I feel like I need to ‘branch out’ and make new friends.”

My heart sank to the ground. A million thoughts swirled around my mind. Was my best and only good friend rejecting me? What did I do wrong? What was I going to do? I scribbled down a response and passed it back to Emma sullenly. “Go ahead. I won’t stop you.”

I walked home from school that day and the leaves no longer glowed hues of yellow and red. They were ash hanging on the trees. I know I seemed a little gory in that moment, but I had no idea what my purpose was anymore. I had no clue where I was going to end up socially and was falling under the grief of losing a dearly loved one. It felt like I was drowning. I slumped onto my bed as the tears rolled down my face, while I held my cat in my arms.

I walked into school the next day alone. I peered over at the new friends that surrounded Emma with joy and smiles. I recognized a girl among them named Bionca. My grief dipped into immediate jealousy. Bionca was the one girl I felt like I could never compete with, or feel good enough around her. She always made me feel like an idiot, although I’m sure she didn’t mean to. This was just one of the deadly side effects of being a teenage girl. Seeing Emma with Bionca made my heart sink. I thought I wasn’t as good as Bionca, or that she was a better friend than I was.

After a few dragging weeks of loneliness, I decided to hold back my internal tears and begin looking for new friends myself. It didn’t take long for me to find a group. The popular girls. The ones who were never afraid to do whatever they wanted, and still keep the respect of others. That was the person I wanted to be so I decided to give it a try. All too soon I realized my place in that group. A shadow. I felt invisible to them and felt like I could never do anything to gain their attention. I was nothing to them. An afterthought. An outcast. Like I always was. Another side effect sending me tears. Countless nights I laid in my bed, the black pang of loneliness and heartbreak captivating me. I heard a soft knock at my door. My mom walked in with a smile and my cat in her arms.

“How is everything going with Emma?” she inquired sitting down next to me.

“Not any better, I feel so alone.” I replied.

“Have you talked to her at all?”

“No,” I started. It never occured to me that actually talking to Emma would be an option. I was too anxious that she would reject me again. Looking back, I realized that Emma and I wouldn’t even glance at each other. We were giving each other the ice cold shoulder and I guessed that it was supposed to be like that. I turned to face my mom.

“Do you think I should talk to her? I mean, I’ll bet no one does this,” I said.

“Honey,” my mom responded, “Every single girl your age goes through this. And I do think you should talk to her, it’s the best way to solve the problem.”

I spent a whole week thinking about what my mom had said. It surprised me that every girl had gone through something like this. All these side effects were now going to drive me crazy! I also considered my options of talking to Emma. What if she rejected me? What if everything went back to normal? I paused at this thought. I didn’t think that I wanted anything to go back to “normal” because it would be too awkward. But the sharp pain of me missing my friend overwhelmed me and I finally decided to talk to her. I pulled out my phone and texted her. “Are we good?” I typed. It didn’t take long to get a response. “I think so,” she replied, “I didn’t want to leave anything unresolved…”

Our conversation grew and grew like a curling vine in the sunlight. Everything was falling into place for both of us. I found out that the only reason that she wanted to branch out was because I was sick the day before, and wasn’t at school. She felt lonely because we hung out so much and realized that she needed a backup plan. All this time I believed that I did something wrong, but now it all made perfect sense, like the pieces of a puzzle falling next to each other to create a bigger picture. That day, Emma and I became friends again, but we were never best friends again. I believed that it was the best thing for both of us, and we both missed each other a lot!

Today, Emma and I are still on the journey of making new friends. The side effects of being teen girls would still try to creep up on us, but we never let it overwhelm us again. I had learned a very important lesson that I will never ever forget. Never be afraid to speak up, or you may never know what silent drama may stir up. I also learned that every girl, boy, basically any teen will go through something like I went through. My advice? Don’t give in to the “side effects” of being a teen. Always remember that words, simple words, can reverse the feeling of being invisible. At this point in a story, there is a flaming sunset behind some breathtaking mountains. The end of the story is here, with a happy ending indeed.