HIT ME WITH A RAY OF SUNLIGHT
I used to be sick. There was this disease that was almost like an epidemic. It spread and spread and it even caught me. This disease is really strange. A person diagnosed with this disease will go through great lengths just to appear the impossible-perfect. The disease can be seen in mostly adolescents who are in their last years of school and planning to go to college. The symptoms are extreme levels of stress, excessive goody-two-shoeness, abundance of fake smiles and sudden interest in things that sound really intellectual but are in fact really boring. If not treated in time, the person advances to being a complete grade, sports, volunteer work and transcript obsessed freak. Yes, this disease is none other than ……. college fever! I caught it and just when I lost all hope, I saw a ray of light - Literally. I used to be obsessed with grades. Ooh a 3.8 GPA! What a nightmare! Out of millions of people applying to college, there are probably thousands who have a perfect 4.0 and do all the right stuff. Their essays are going to be about how they traveled to Africa and their lives changed forever. There are awesome amazing people vying for the best that education can offer. Ivy Leagues should seriously consider putting the options as: Are you a) the next Einstein b) the person who will cure cancer c) the next Olympian gold medalist d) the person who is insanely good at some other stuff. Then there's me-the paradigm of everything opposite of perfect. I'm the girl that repeatedly falls down (my record is trice in one day), the girl that has never missed being injured while playing or rather attempting to play any form of sports, the girl who is not exactly be a budding genius or even the girl that does charity. I've never even gotten drunk or high. (Yes, those ancient kind of people still exist). I have never done an internship and what's more I've never traveled international (not counting India) ever! So I guess I can't even write an essay about my experience in Africa. But then let's be honest I'm not as bad as I make out to be. I am actually pretty smart. I never get anything other than A and A+ but truth is I get them because I work for them. I study, do my homework and I love learning. Being in an international school was a dream come true. People don't realize how fortunate they are to not have to memorize or be scared of slaps or punishment while studying. I bet they never saw other students being slapped or the look of fear in their eyes just before they got the punishment. I dealt with that all through middle school while living in a country (Nepal) where school days were cut off because of strikes, political instability and chaos. What I said earlier was true, I don't do 'Charity' but I do help. I may not volunteer at the animal shelter but I have this habit of buying biscuits for stray dogs and trying to feed them whenever I can. I save lives. I rescue spiders from the evil destroyers- mostly my roommates who I feel think getting bit by a tiny spider will kill them. I may not be in the teaching the orphans activity after school but I am proud to say I used to give half my pocket money (which was only 3 dollars at that time) every month to support a kid who didn't have enough money to pay for school. I may not be GO GREEN! or whatever those environment programs are but I pick up trash whenever I see it. Over the years I've picked up hundreds of candy wrappers, juice boxes and other plastics stuff( I draw the line at tissues and condom wrappers- Ewwww!). I'm even thinking of tracking my carbon emissions and reducing it (an extra credit work that I didn't have time for in high school but find really interesting). I am signed up for an optional rock climbing activity after school on mondays (which I confess I mostly miss), do gardening on wednesdays, newspaper on thursdays and Astronomy on Friday. My activities may not appear be the most unique, exciting things but they are all stuff I LOVE to do. I don't do rock climbing, newspaper and Astronomy to show that "I'm a well rounded student who is versatile". No, I do them because they are the kind of things I never had the chance to learn in my previous school. I spent almost my entire middle-school years behind books. I always wanted to learn about stars and look through a telescope, always wanted to try climbing rocks (although I found out we don't actually climb on real rocks in rock climbing classes), always loved feeling the earth in my fingers. I do admit that I only joined MUN and newspaper passage(after school activity) because of 'the disease'. It would look great in the transcripts. Yep, the smart girl who writes articles and debates. I was wrong. I mean it still looks good on the transcripts but the even better part is now that I am cured, I see how fun those things can be. Having my article reduced to half its submitted size and seeing it published in the school newspaper was a life-lesson learning moment. Dropping my namecard on the very first day, having people look at me weird and raising my voice to be heard while practically pushing my points in during the conferences was to say the least, exhilarating. So was answering all the questions for the first time and getting over my fear of public speaking. Ceasing to obsess over grades was freeing. My cure was simple- a ray of sunshine while walking from school to dorms. I was going through the grades of the entire semester, the schedule was killing me and frankly I was in a really crappy mood. A ray of sunlight hit me in the face. I stopped. I stopped walking. I stopped calculating. I stopped worrying. I looked around and noticed for the first time what a beautiful day it was. I saw the different shades of green, the way the sunlight weaved through the trees and it all took my breath away. I realized that that beauty had been in front of my face the entire time and I hadn't seen it simply because I hadn't looked. I hummed and walked to dorms. Everything changed. The days that followed were much better. I didn't care that I wasn't the best. All that mattered was that I was doing the things I cared about and trying to do MY best. I stopped planning to join the CARE (organized volunteer) activities, the internships… I figured when I did those things, it would be because I really wanted to help and learn, not to get a better transcript. I applied to several internships for the summer. Truth is I got accepted or would have been accepted to all of them. Another major truth- I can't afford it. Another great truth, I plan on working this summer. Just not the way you think. I want to work with organizations helping people. I want to connect with people not endow them with my charity. I plan on doing several independent studies especially on astronomy, biology and chemistry. I wish things were different, that I could spend time in summer school like so many of my classmates or travel around the world but things aren't different. I am just a 17 year old girl with extra big dreams. But the way I figure, I've got it pretty good. I get the chance to think inside the box. I mean I can do so much even with a boundary. I could finally learn kick boxing, start gardening, visit all the ancient temples and museums, go on camping trips and volunteer at the women's shelter. I could even attempt to make food- I mean cook (the horror!) and work on my artistic skills which are currently quite limited. I admit I get carried away with this planning stuff. Thing is I am really healthy right now. I don't have to be a mean calculating machine. I just have to rely on ingenuity and determination more than transcripts to get into a good college. More than that, I am happy and practically bursting with ideas, plans and dreams. I know that I don't need to be perfect. Now, I don't think anybody is. I don't want to be a robot always following, always doing the expected. I want to be different and be proud of it. I have learnt so much because I had a moment where I could step out of my hectic life. And to think that all I needed was to be hit with a ray of sunlight.