Nostalgia | Teen Ink

Nostalgia

March 20, 2014
By elilienfeld PLATINUM, West Branch, Iowa
elilienfeld PLATINUM, West Branch, Iowa
22 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Mi salvación fue leer, leer los buenos libros, refugiarme en esos mundos donde vivir era exaltante, intenso, una aventura tras otra, donde podía sentirme libre y volvía a ser feliz"
- Mario Vargas Llosa
My salvation was read, read good books, take refuge in those worlds where living was exhilarating, intense, one adventure after another, where I could feel free and be happy again


I'm climbing the mountain, climbing the slope slowly but surely toward what fate holds for me. I cannot imagine the future and now I can only think about the past. Up the mountain, I’ve almost reached the top. This is the last time I will see my beautiful mountains covered in the beautiful darkness of the night, my last night at home for a long time. This is not the first time I have left my home, but this time I feel different. As I reach the top, memories of the other times leaving my homeland attack my mind and, like a bomb exploding in my head, I realize what I have here: my heart, my eternal feeling. A cool breeze passes over my back and my mind freezes. It is now that I realize that I will be leaving my home, to which I have just returned from another adventure in Central America. I’ve only been home for a little while after leaving it with all my family, but this time I will go alone.

I arrive at the airport, my whole family with me, my brothers, my father, my mother, my grandmothers, even our beloved housekeeper. Anxiety in me makes me start to get nervous but I am reassured that my mom will accompany me to the school. I am going to a boarding school in Iowa. I heard of this school before because some relatives and friends of the family went there before. I have the opportunity to go to the US for a better education, and I going to take it. The end is near, speakers call, it’s time to say farewell. I almost never cry, but for once I need to fight against it. I say goodbye to my grandmothers, my dear old ladies. I hope that their teaching and advice will help me in my life. I can see the sadness in their tender and old look but I also see in their eyes that they are happy for me and that makes me feel loved. “Adios Abuelitas”, I say, I will miss you. I say goodbye to my house keeper, who has helped my family so much in recent years. She is dressed in traditional clothing, her long handmade pollera ( skirt) like usual and is saying some words in Ayamara that I don’t understand. I think she is wishing me good luck. I say goodbye to my father. He is holding my younger brother in his arms. He looks like a business man, wearing a suit, his big glasses and his wool cap. We shake hands, but he hugs me tightly and I give him a kiss.

So far so good but now, my brothers. I love those dwarves; I would give my life for them. I have to say goodbye to the oldest, and he does know what is going on. This is the first time you will be without me and the first time I will be without you. I look at him, and he looks at me. I see the sadness in his eyes that fills my heart with darkness. I struggle not to mourn, but I fail. I know that my brother is taking a step forward in his life, from now on he will be the big brother. Even though he is only ten years old, he will have to take care of our younger brother and he is also going to be the only man in the house because my dad travels a lot. I feel that is a lot of responsibility for an immature kid. Everyone is the architect of his own destiny, they say. I am still not sure. I hug him, he is wearing a Real Madrid t-shirt with the name of his favorite player and an old jacket that used to be mine. I like him wearing that jacket, he reminds me of the younger me. I try keep my tears in while hugging him but I can’t. I decide to walk away and start pre-boarding.

The small airport opens its doors to an unknown place. I feel sad for leaving home but I am also happy because a new adventure in my crazy life has begun. As I get in the plane I try to see something outside, like a nimble light that could stay in my memory for ever. I change seats with my mom who is sitting next to window and there is when I see it. It is really dark outside but I feel that I can see the Illimani, La Paz most beautiful, huge mountain. My mountain. In my mind I say goodbye to my city, my mountain. I thank the universe for this opportunity.

When at I arrive at my new school, I was anxious and nervous at first, and also depressed but now I realize that I am here for my future and that’s all that matters. I have to live in the now and forget about the past. I will always carry my memories with me, but for now I will try to succeed here. My arrival here was good, people here are great, they have good hearts and open minds. I don’t understand them sometimes, like when they are joking or making fun of something I wouldn´t consider funny, and that’s makes me feel out of place sometimes. But, I know they are my friends because they are friendly with me and care about me. Their intentions are good. I feel sad some days; some days my heart is attacked with melancholy and my mind with nostalgia, but one thing keeps me going forward every day. My objective is to succeed here and for that I have to overcome my fears and negative thoughts. Bolivia will always be there for me, I will always keep it in my heart.


The author's comments:
This is a piece I wrote after leaving my country and my family in Bolivia for stuying in the US...

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