Every afternoon was always a comforting time to have fun and spread joy. A moment to live life to the fullest. No regrets, no boundaries, Just peace. The kind of peace that can only come from one person. My best friend Tattoo. She was a full grown bully pit with a huge heart. When you see her, you can feel a sense of happiness and strength. Her presence brightening flowers, her attitude burning with passion, and the eyes of an angel shining through her face.

As I’m walking with her down our neighborhood. All I see are good things. My thoughts are not dull, but bright and colorful. Rainbows shine through the rain and there are no signs of clouds to ruin the mood. A place of fulfillment and courage. The breeze ticklings our faces, Just a slight feeling of what heaven is like. That is my beloved friend from the heavens above.

“You and me and two souls connected”, I say.

She looks at me and continues to pant. And at that moment, time freezes. The whole world stops and the sunlight shines before me. Nothing better was expected, but the confused yet innocent look on Tattoo’s face was the reaction I expected from her. She was a short, chubby dog with beautiful black fur. An intentious little beast, with the beauty of a queen. She was brave and very considerate. 

The love she had for a family was so strong, words couldn’t explain. Humble and sweet like the spring’s butterflies.

Our lives connected and we did everything together. I guess I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

Tattoo runs like the wind and breathes in the fresh air. Moments pass and the everlasting joy melts my heart. I would always love to see her happy.

It’s getting warmer outside. The clouds are moving about in their ways and the sun is shining through the sky. It was noon and I could feel Tattoo falling behind. She pants and moves toward our house. And at that moment, I knew she was hungry.

“Are you ready to eat girl?”, I asked playfully.

She barks and brushes against my leg.

I rub her back and give her a huge hug. There was no one that understood better than Tattoo.

We went back inside. Our home wasn’t perfect, but it was just right for us. I open the cabinets and pull her food out. The happy look she gave me was everything. I then poured the food into her bowl and sat it right in front of her. She chews loudly and licks up the remaining crumbs. Bloated, she moves closer to the sunroom. She was hinting that she wanted to lie down for a minute.

Smiling, I opened the sunroom door and she went inside and laid down next to her favorite pillow.

It seemed like a perfect time for me to sleep too. I walked over to the couch and fell asleep.

When I woke up, it was already afternoon.

“I’m taking tattoo for an evening walk, Kerei”, my mom said.

I nodded slowly. It was obvious I was still drowsy from that sleep.

I don’t remember much after that but about thirty minutes later, I was more awake and went to my room to grab my tablet. The daily news popped up on the television screen. I remember ignoring it and continuing down the hallway.

I felt awkward. Like I was experiencing a vision or image. My mind races and my heart starts beating fast. I lean against the wall and sit down. I’m confused and scared. I feel like I’m burning up. There was no sound from anywhere else. I was all alone.

The front door alarm went off. Just then, I managed to stand up and walk toward the front of the house. Everything is blurry but I see my mom kneeled down by the door crying.

“She’s dying”, my mom cries.

“What….”, I reply, shaking.

“Tattoo.”

“Oh my god.”

I run out of the house and into the driveway. Tattoo was lying in the grass coughing and choking. She was in pain. True horrifying pain. I wanted to help but I couldn’t move. I just stand right there shaking in fear. My heart beats fast. My world spins. It’s hot and everything is moving. I lean back against the brick wall. I start praying. My words get jumbled up and at this point I’m just quivering. I don’t see anyone else and suddenly everything goes white. I see dogs barking in the field. A dull gray field. I want to escape this terrible experience but I’m trapped. I’m locked in and no one can save me. 

Then a loud screech rings through my ears and I scream. I yell through the top of my lungs. Men are trying to capture the dogs. But there is one dog saving them. It was Tattoo. She runs up and bites the men and they drop like flies.

A faint image of Tattoo is all I see when I open my eyes. No men. No dogs. Just her. She was still lying in the grass. I stand up and run toward her. There she lies still. I didn’t see any movement. She wasn’t struggling to breathe and she wasn’t in pain. She was just lying still under the moonlight in the cold air.

Not a single question about it. She was dead.

My mom came up behind me and when she saw Tattoo she burst into tears again.

“She’s dead.”

“Yeah momma”, I replied.

A slow glance was all I gave to my dead best friend.

“She ate a hairy stick or something and started choking”, my mom cried.

I couldn’t respond. The clouds were above me and the rain was soon to come.

“I don’t even want to…”, I trailed off

“Kerei, you have---”

“I said I don’t want to!”, I screamed.

The bright memories turned into ash. All the colors turned gray. My life was over.

She was the only person that truly understood me. And now I stand there in agony. I’m broken into pieces. I’m so hurt and angry, tears couldn’t flow. All the past images are faint. I hear the scream of a dying woman. I felt like I was dying. Slowly but surely.

Not too long after that tragic life experience, we decided to bury Tattoo ourselves. We gathered flowers the next day and even paid off a little casket.

As horrible as it seemed, I knew this was our only choice. We couldn’t leave her out there in our backyard. Too much of a risk. She was dead now so there was a high chance of rodents and other animals feeding off of her.

The chances we got to change our lives were very valid to my family. But it was never valid to me. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. No one could bring Tattoo back and no one could heal my broken heart. I was like a lonely animal just left in the wilderness. My anxiety didn’t seem to be a problem but my anger and hurt made me bitter.

“Things happen for a reason”, my sister says.

I ignored any facts to try and help me. I didn’t want the help. I wanted my best friend back. Why bad things happen is far from my understanding, but why good people die will forever be in my research.

After that effect, me and my family would get cards and letters and daily motivations from other members of our church and our distinct family members. I guess they felt like that was supposed to help.

“Don’t take any more chances”, my dad said.

“Trust me, after all I’ve been through, I live to take chances”, I replied.

There were no more vivid memories after  that. I didn’t hear screaming, or dying dogs, or the sound of Tattoo biting any men. It was just a blank visual.

I live to know that the time I had with my best friend was not taken for granted. Instead, it was embraced. I enjoyed every moment with her and if I had a chance to bring her back, I would.

“Memories are there to help you, not hurt you. The brave soul of your best friend will forever live with you. You will overcome challenges and you will make the world a better place. Live up to the expectations for you and Tattoo both. Let her know you still care. For she is gone but never forgotten.”

The moment was just like the old days. 

“No, it was just like the Dog Days.”