I met Mila Miller in a small park in town while i was visiting my grandmother, she seemed like a sweet girl very energetic and happy. she was the first one to talk to me, she seemed like she was trying to live life in the moment as though she might not have much time left to. i never would have imagined what her life was like, and I definitely wouldn't have guessed that she was living her life exactly for that reason.

Mila Miller was 7 years old when she first knew there was something wrong with her. 

Mila was born February 17th, 2008 in New York City. at the age of 5 her and her parents moved out to the country. 

Mila had always been a picky eater and easily gotten sick. one time when she was seven she got sick with mono virus and was barely conscious for about 2 and a half months before she got better.

when Mila was about 4 years old she started refusing to eat many foods including meats, milk and most vegetables and fruits. 

it was when she was seven that Mila first noticed the looks her parents, Jenna and Micheal, exchanged when they looked at her. at this point in time Mila had a 5 year old sister, Mary. Mila says that at the time she started realizing something was wrong she noticed how her parents would "look at her as if she were going to fall at any moment" as it turns out Mila had had multiple issues where she had gotten dizzy and momentarily passed out before waking up and not remember any of it. When Mila was 9 years old her parents brought her to the doctor about her eating habits where they diagnosed her with slight malnutrition. and although her parents did try to get her to eat better there wasn't much else they could do and they let it go as there hadn't been any other problems and Mila was fine and not in any danger. that was until everything came crashing down.

it all started when she was twelve. Mila had been fine since then and hadn't had any issues, but one day she started noticing how she was always short of breath from even just walking around her school and sometimes she would start coughing uncontrollably and it was like she couldnt even breath. after a few weeks of this Mila's mother brought her to the doctor where she was diagnosed with asthma and given an inhaler. it has been about three years since then and Mila was doing pretty good. she said that it was a "big change to have to remember to carry the inhaler everywhere and it did make things in life a bit more difficult to do somethings but i was happy and that's what mattered to me" however once again everything took a turn for the worse. a few months ago Mila started feeling dizzy and unable to barely walk without nearly falling. she always felt cold and she felt weak and tired.she says that "i just want to be able to go to school and have fun, not have to worry about this stuff. i want to be normal, none of my friends spend their time wondering if they are going to live long enough to even get out of collage! they all are talking about boys and music. i just don't understand, why do i have to deal with all this?" finally Mila's parents took her to the doctor where they tested her blood and found out that she has low iron. since then she has been taking supplements but if it doesn't help she will have to go to the hospital. however there's one secret she hadn't told barely anyone, not even her parents. "its hard for me to eat" she says "every time i try to eat more than even maybe say two slices of bread i feel sick like im going to throw up, and some foods its hard to even eat it just makes me feel terrifies for no reason" when Mila's parents DID find out they say that they were scared that she had an eating disorder, not that they told her that. she found out about all of this and more a few days ago when her parents where trying to get her to eat food that would hopefully help her get healthier. she refused. after a few hours (yes HOURS) her father finally started yelling about how "if you dont eat you will get even more sick! they will put you into a hospital and have to inject you with needles just to keep you alive! if it means you have to take medicine then you take it, we arent letting you leave yet!" before he ran out of the room crying. meanwhile Mila was in shock. she hadnt realized how bad her problems where. and, she was scared. 

at the end of this interview Mila was crying and she told me one last thing before i left. "im not ready to die Lily. i want to be normal, i want to grow up with my friends. i dont want to be thinking about dying yet, its not right. Lily, i want to get married have kids and grandchildren. i want to live! its just not fair...im just a kid. and Lily, im scared."