The hardest thing in life that we’ll all ever have to face is saying our last words to the people we love. For us it was “I love you.” Even though there are a million things more I’d like to say that day I left you I felt like we had said everything we needed to say to each other. Love was everywhere in that room that day, but even all the love in the world will never heal my scars. I would give any amount of money to have just five minutes of my mom back with me. The loving, beautiful, caring and always smiling woman that made me into the young woman I am today. Watching you suffer all those months, was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Only to be topped by letting you go, not far, but far enough where I won’t see your smiling face every morning before school as you greeted us bright and early, and won’t get to see your face on the day I find the perfect prom dress, or when you watch me walk down the sandy aisles on my wedding day at the beach.

You always said I was different than all the other kids at school, that I was the old soul that was always looking out for everyone else. But now I know it’s only because of you. You made me the big sister to everyone around me. But I realized in these 15 months how much older I’ve had to become. You always wanted what was best for Chris and I , and wanted us to do what made us happy: but I was never truly happy without you. You didn’t get to see me go off to my first prom, or play in my varsity field hockey games or go prom dress shopping with me, and see me accept the community service awards I did. But even though you’ve joined that big party in the sky and you may not be in person to see me reach these milestones, but I know that you’ll always be looking down upon me. And no matter where in the world I may go, you’ll be right there with me watching out for me like you have always done.
I promised you I’d never say goodbye, because that means forever, but forever you’ll never be farther from me than my heart. But you taught me to never tell a lie; when you looked at me with those yellow-stained eyes of yours on that day I felt like part of me was dying with you. For the 16 years I have been on this earth you have been so much more to me than my mother. You have been the person I go to for any and everything from advice to fashion tips, from motivational pre-game talks to end of the day talks and everything in between you have been my mommy, best friend and most of all my hero. And those are all things you will forever and always be to me, no matter how many worlds, atmospheres or miles may separate us.