Hot dogs. The meat of all meats. Has it ever occurred to you to wonder who thought to mash together remains of animals and, most of all, how it got its name? My curiosity was aroused as I dipped deeper into this oh, so important subject.

These dogs certainly come in many different varieties: vegetarian, turkey, beef, spicy, tomatoes and onions, cheese-stuffed and the most popular, mystery meat. I was quite stunned at the amount of different flavors of wieners that are produced. Who knew people enjoyed processed sausage to this extent?

The most universally loved frank is the kind that doesn't mention a type of meat on the front of the label. Just what is in these intriguing dogs? I pondered this concept, not sure if I would be able to handle the truth. I took a deep breath and dove in, while still keeping down my dinner. “Mechanically separated” - now, that is a term Americans need to familiarize themselves with. The package could very well be saying, “If guts, organs, feet, or feathers end up in your food, we're sorry. You may blame our intelligent machines.” Sounds appealing, doesn't it?

Secondly, the name. Hot dogs? The first thing that comes to mind is that the original wieners had dog meat in them. Obviously they were served hot, since “cold dogs” doesn't sound very appetizing. Turns out it was merely because of the resemblance to the dachshund dogs. So, be reassured, that is not a drooling St. Bernard you are biting into on Independence Day.

I hope I have been able to successfully educate you on some of the mysteries involving hot dogs. So, go ahead and be my guest. Sit back with a couple franks topped with ketchup or coleslaw and stuff your face. They won't kill you... as long as you stay away from machines that are supposed to be separating your meat.