A Brief Message | Teen Ink

A Brief Message

January 6, 2014
By TheGreatMustachio BRONZE, Cedar City, Utah
TheGreatMustachio BRONZE, Cedar City, Utah
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Live every week like it's Shark Week" - Tracy Jordan
"Get busy living, or get busy dying." - Andy Dufresne


As much as we might think that we humans are basically the same, we are actually very different. Male and female, young and old, dark skinned and light skinned—we are all very different from the outside to the in. We are different, and with this difference comes the concept of personal preferences. Quite frankly, many people have personal preferences for a wide variety of different things from food to floor coverings and everything in between. Comfort, for example, is purely personal preference. Some people say that protection and confinement is comfortable. Others say that being able to be free and in control is a lot more comfortable. These two scenarios are very true in the case of choosing within the variety of men’s personal undergarment selection. This choice is a very pressing and gripping issue nowadays. The genre of underwear has been greatly expanded since the days of cotton “long johns”. This matter is a cause of dispute and much tribulation, pitting father against son and brother against brother. It stretches and broadens the limits of the imagination. Among the most dubious selections of male underclothing are boxers and briefs. Though this selection dilemma is purely personal preference, it is a topic of discussion and controversy in social circles that span the genders. The three most controversial reasons behind this rivalry are: comfort, female attraction, and whether the types of drawers play a role in male infertility.

Based on many views expressed on numerous forums and polls on the internet, boxer wearers express that wearing boxers is far more comfortable than wearing something “feminine”, or ‘childish”; even something that reminds them of the “tighty-whities” worn by their grandfathers. Boxer wearers have expressed that they would much rather have freedom to move, with the additional ability to breath. They identify the agonizing restriction and feelings of being “fit to be tied” when wearing briefs as their reason for choosing the comfort of boxers. The consensus states that due to the softer, more comfortable cotton or flannel fabrics most typically used in the construction of boxers, and the “roominess” that the loose fitting-style provides, boxers have become an extremely popular undergarment option. Contemporary media and pop-culture have also contributed to the popularity of boxers as underwear manufacturers have chosen printed fabrics with logos and images on the boxer material. Such images as Batman, Superman, Sponge Bob, and a variety of strong and obviously brawny X-Men characters have made boxer-wear attractive and trendy among younger “underwearers,” setting them on a course of continued future boxer preference. As these images appear more juvenile to the young, up and coming boxer-garber, sports franchise logos on their skivvies becomes more chic and fashionable. NFL, NBA, NHL and MLS team insignias that appear on boxer fabrics, according to a men’s health magazine, have the increase potential of bolstering team affiliation and fan-followership. Other stylish patterns include varied plaids, paisley and the ever popular lovely heart motif. However the boxer is chosen, those men who favor the boxer over the brief are very comfortable with their decision.

The issue of comfort not only applies to physical comfort, but also mental comfort. The ability to “breath” relieves the stress put on the male mid-section. Relief of stress puts men at ease and also allows them to not have to worry about fixing wedgies. The comfort of knowing that wedgies will never be an issue helps men focus on more pressing and important matters.

Brief users say that briefs are, on the contrary, more comfortable than the boxer style underwear in the sense that things are kept in place. The feeling of knowing where everything is, say the “brief-ists”, contributes to a feeling of confidence that naturally translates to “comfort.” As opposed to boxers, briefs conform to the body. The brief user would much rather pick the “showoff” approach than the freedom of boxers. Briefs, as declared by many brief users give the feeling that the wearer is manlier because of the natural formfitting ability of briefs. As a means of making the brief more stylish and outwardly attractive, briefs can now be found in a variety of patterns paralleling those found for the boxers in stretchable nylon and lycra fabrics.
To be brief, the debate on whether boxers or briefs are seen as “sexy” remains heated. Some women say briefs have more appeal because of the figurative male conformity. Others say that men should wear boxers because they are hip and society says that briefs are a historical thing of the past. I will not delve any deeper into this subject, stretching the imagination any further.
A subject that is also of importance to the underwear community is whether a man’s selection of undergarment has an effect on fertility. According to fertility specialists, it is logical to think that wearing briefs can decrease the sperm count in males. The tight confinement of briefs increases the temperature in the outer male anatomy where critical reproductive cells are collected. Extreme conditions in which temperatures rise drastically can kill sperm cells. These reproductive organisms can only survive in temperatures a little lower than 98.6 degrees. I’m not going to go very deep into this either, but all I’m going to say is that this is the little bit of dirt that boxers have on briefs. This significant classification has converted many a brief wearer over to the “more relaxed side” of this issue in their hopes of helping the whole of humanity to continue.

Some rivalries were meant to last, like Batman and the Joker. Others can’t fight forever because if tensions get any higher, the very fabric of the universe will rip into shreds. The feud between boxers and briefs is stretched to say the least. Both groups act like their panties are all in a bunch if one side says something negative about the other. Cosmo Kramer from the 90’sSit-Com Seinfeld expressed both sides of the bun in one episode. When asked about briefs/jocks he said, “I need the secure packaging of Jockeys. My boys need a house!” Elaine Benes tells Kramer that, “If [he] ever wants to have kids [he] shouldn’t wear briefs. Boxers are much better for [his] sperm count.” After this private topic dialogue, he switches to boxers. After a while he expresses his feelings of wearing boxers by saying, “Boxers! How do you where these things? Look at it! They’re bagging up, they’re rising in, and there’s nothing holding me in place!”(Seinfeld). The way that Kramer compromises is by going with none of the above and “going commando.”

After all is said and moreover, all is done, “going commando” isn’t the last option for those who cannot choose between boxers and briefs. With the clever creation of the “boxer-brief, there is a healthy and happy middle ground for underwearers. This armistice shows that men can have the best of both worlds. Boxer-Briefs provide the comfort that brief wearers want along with the freedom that boxer sporter feel they deserve. This combination has helped bring a peaceable “ceasefire” that has helped each side see that men can have security and freedom without compromising comfort. Some men still believe that the invention of Boxer-Briefs hasn’t doused the flame, but only serves as an ever blazing fuel for a larger fire than before. With time, the Boxer-Brief will ultimately bring men together underneath the roof of underwear mutuality and at the same time provide men with a sense of freedom and comfort.


The author's comments:
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is a tale of human duality. This idea of duality sparked an idea. There is some level of duality in everything. Whether it is man vs. machine, man vs. man, or in the case of this article, a choice in undergarment, there are two sides to every story.

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