I witnessed a traumatic event that made me suicidal. I turned six years old when it happened but I learned about death at a young age. After experiencing trauma many people want to know about what happens after death and wonder if it’s better than living because I did. I struggled with generalized anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder. There is a disorder called dermatillomania which is prone to picking the skin on your hands and I suffered from it. I would pick the skin on my hands until they bled and felt the pain as a way to feel something other than my thoughts. I was positive there was no coming back after being diagnosed with these disorders. The feeling of anything but sadness made me want to smell the blood of my hands after every attempt. Dermatillomania is similar to other mental health disorders that cause people to do self-harm.

There are five stages of healing. Grief and denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.  These stages of healing occur throughout a period of time in the victim's life before finding inner peace. 

 When I was taken hostage and held at gunpoint at a young age I processed trauma differently than my family. It was difficult for me to understand why they wanted to take me away from my mother's arms that night as I screamed.

“I don’t want to leave you, mom.”

They held my family and others hostage but they only wanted to take me away and held guns to my family and not the others. They took our car, jewelry, and money but at times I wish they would've taken me too. I tasted my tears that night while the moon and the stars shined their brightest.

After the tragedy, I needed to cope with PTSD and anxiety. I needed professional help. My red bloody hands looked like raw meat after picking at them. Many PTSD, stress, and trauma victims look for professional therapy as a source of treatment to heal throughout recovery. I wanted to discover another anxiety-relieving option after months of treatment and continued struggle. Then I discovered music. Listening to a type of music, engaging therapy allows people to gain confidence and feel worthy enough to find self-love. 

Due to its ability to lower stress, boost self-esteem, and benefit health conditions, music became a form of therapy. People can benefit mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, intellectually, and socially through music therapy. Army hospitals help those who were in the military service and are given music therapy as a source of healing. Discovering music therapy made me feel more in control and confident in my surroundings and improved my social communication skills throughout my childhood. 

Music therapy allows people to find a connection to a song that can release stress and impulsive behavior. It can also help cope with anxiety and depression. Listening to music, dancing, or a podcast throughout the day can help people with anxiety and it is therapeutic. Therapy is a healing gift sent from God because he gave people the power to spread a message allowing others to find healing. My mom was my saving grace because she had faith that everything would turn out okay. Music is a source of happiness and involves a purpose in life. There are different types of therapy and people who suffer from a mental illness are often to get asked, 

“Why don’t you see a therapist? They are paid to help people like you?”

Talking to a stranger in a room about your problems may or may not work for everyone. There are different types of therapy or healing processes one may discover but figuring out therapy can get overwhelming. Walking in the doors of a specialist, therapist, rehabilitation, etc, is a slap to the face for some people to accept because they may feel that they’re mentally ill. Those who attend therapy sessions talk about their issues and are given advice to learn how to resolve them. Trauma is the first thing the therapist wants to know about. Music therapy allows individuals to communicate in ways that they would not be able to achieve when a stranger is in the room. Sometimes the best advice is no advice. There are several music genres that might influence someone's perspective on life, but one person has the power to significantly change our way of life.

Without music, life would be miserable and unbearable because people can physically express themselves when they hear music. It helps find a reason to live and is a significant part of our lives. Music is a form of literature that is shown as a sonnet with a melody. When we listen to music or do any form of therapy, the brain releases dopamine. The emotional rush people feel riding a roller coaster is the same sensation we get throughout our bodies when we listen to music. People identify with the song's messages by connecting to the artist and other listeners by sharing similar interests. Finding a favorite genre or an artist that shares our same point of views and emotions can help our feelings recover since they have a message people can listen to without physically hurting one another. 

People who suffer from mental health issues must learn to accept and respect their flaws since they define a piece of their life and not everyone experiences the same trauma. Therapy of any kind allows people to leave the past behind and live in the present. Using music as a therapeutic benefit helps spread the message of the lyrics when life gets too difficult to find inspiration. Love is not just a verb, it is when you look in the mirror. The best part of music therapy is that it is free and people can listen to it whenever they want. Playing music relaxes the stress in our bodies! When you go out to restaurants or grocery stores, music is being played and we subconsciously already know that it will energize and uplift our mood. Therapy allows us to accept and showcase the best side of ourselves by creating lifelong memories with others. 

If it wasn’t for the healing power of music, many people including myself would not be here today. Music saves lives and it will continue to have a powerful impact on people since it can’t be replaced but a therapist can. The world is a beautiful place and it can be difficult to understand. We are put on the same path as others in our lives because we are the melody and the music that they might need to hear in order to heal.