“How humiliating!”

“I need some distance”

“I feel unsafe!”

Communication, an exchange of ideas and thoughts, but what if this exchange of thoughts forms the root of your problems and torments you for life? Its supposed to help evolve people’s ideas and thought process but I feel like as we progress in time, it's only depleting.

My story begins when I had just shifted schools and not just any schools, but from a normal school to a boarding one which later on made things even worse. I was and hopefully still am a pretty chill and quiet guy who is good in academics and co-curriculars. Everything seemed to go just fine, people were interested in me, we all maintained our boundaries. However, gradually this season of me being a new child started to fade away. 

People’s thoughts and chit chats started to travel in my ear and I was forced to pretend. To pretend that it's alright, to pretend that I don't hear them, to pretend that I am happy and this pretension slowly created a hollow space within me which was no longer capable of feeling emotions and my surroundings. The way I functioned was entirely dependent on the quantity of masks I had. These “smart” beings made fun od me for the way I spoke, I walked, I slept, my entire existence. It was still bearable while it was limited to verbal abuse but, as soon as they recieved a hint that I dont speak up, they drifted to physical abuse for the sake of entertainment. 

What had initially began as a friendly joke, shifted into torture and trauma for the person. Authorities were not able to see over the stereotypes and I would blame their orthodoxed thinking for that, for they were not able to look over the generalised thoughts that its gonna be okay because every other new student feels anxious in a new environment and they will soon settle in. 

I was forced to try and mix in this messed up society by the people whom I had seeked help from, and to fit in, my individuality, ego and personality were the sacrifices I had to make. At this point, I was completely broken and on the verge of snapping but thats when this person came in my life. 

I had no idea but just her presence made me feel safe, comfort and confidence. I was able to reconstruct my personality which was shattered in pieces. That's when i got the motivation to open up, and for the first time in my life, without any hesitation and feeling proud I expressed myself. Her thoughts, though not transmitted verbally, reached my heart and I was able to become independent.