Pain. Blinding, intense agony that flows through me! It raps its icy arms around me and smothers me. My breath is gone, my blood is cold, and I cannot see; darkness envelops me. Then the pain is gone, gone, but I do not feel relief. I feel fear. The suffering is ending, but I can also feel my life slipping away. Numbness replaces it, and I am flying. I have lifted out of that room, and I am soaring where they cannot catch me! Bleached white clouds loom around me; I assume they are clouds. I really could not say, but they are large pale structures that hover beside me. Then I fall, quickly, and my feet slap dirt with a thud. I hit the ground running.
I smile when I see M is with me. We are walking together, through the forest. I don’t know where to, just forward. Suddenly, I hear the cracking of twigs and leaves. And a figure in black comes lopping up. A bear, huge bear. Quietly, we stare at each other. Not moving. Not breathing. Then, as if acknowledging my respect for him and his for me, he bows his head and continues on his way. M and I walk again; until we see something odd and stop.
In front of me (above me?) loomed a great tree house. It spreads across five trees, connected by swaying bridges and course rope. Multiple little bungalows are perched upon the branches, each the side of a small house. To enter, you would have to climb up a rope ladder into the center structure, which contained the kitchen and dining room. My dream home; I could sleep in the sky. I go straight up and in. Inside of the dining room, the table is wood and carved in intricate patterns. There is a cupboard beside it filled with plates and cups. When I climb back down to the floor, there is a sprawling garden with wildflowers scattered across the floor. In the grass lies one of the wooden cups. It must have fallen. Mustn’t it? I reach and pick up the cup. Hmm. How did it get here? I look up, searching the forest for someone or something that stands out. But there is nothing there. I climb back into the house and put the cup on the kitchen counter. I leave again, walking and exploring. I turn to the back of the property. There is forest for a few meters, then…. Water? A river. Clear and fresh water gurgling past me. Moving quickly. I sit; think. I want to go further, see more, but how can I cross? M. Where has he gone now? I find him, below the sprawling willow on the rivers bank.

“ Help me.” I say, and he does. He lifts me up and puts me on his shoulders. Then carries me through the water to the other side. It was kind of him. His body to his shoulders gets wet, but in the cool night air he doesn’t shiver. He’s not cold. It’s warm out. With the moon to light our way we continue on; I grip his hand tightly.

Aside from the occasional rustling branches of a tree, or the whistling of wind, the world is silent. We walked in solitude. Just me and him, walking side by side. I am completely content with this new universe. For it mustn’t be the same place as before. The world I come from is hell. Its suffering and misery concentrated in poverty stricken countries and oppressed people. It’s death before life, hunger, resentment; it has love, yes. But the love is short- lived passion that quickly turns to hate and resentment. The things you thought you would never give up you begin to abhor. There is no happiness without ignorance, but they destroy your sweet bliss with the truth; that there are no fairy tales and no paradise.

So, no, this could not be the same place. This growing, glowing land that is completely and utterly alive. The perfumes of wildflowers, lilacs, primrose, and Prairie Phlox, lace the air with their sweet scent.
Animals graze in clearings; though I cannot see them I can feel them. I can sense their hearts beating near, and their simple lives and their simple thoughts. So many things are wonderful here. M is here with me. M. He is talking but I have not been listening. Which was rude of me.

“ Sorry?” I ask. He had inquired on some subject relating to this place, but I did not hear.

“ Do you like it here, my dear daydreamer?” A squeeze on the hand and a kiss on the cheek. Oh yes, I like it very much. So I nod my head vigorously.

“ Especially if you are a permanent fixture here with me.” I laugh silently as we come upon a cliff. It overlooks a vast wonderland of mountains and valleys, trees scattered around them. On the horizon, spidery fingers of color begin to climb up the sky. The sun will be up soon, I think, and then I can see more, explore more. We sit on the ledge of the precipice, gazing down on the marvelous creation.

“ Did it hurt?” He does not look at me when asking the question, but keeps his gaze fastened on the rising star.

“ Did what hurt?” I have a feeling that I know, but you can never be sure as to which path people’s minds have wandered down.

“ When you came here.” No hesitation, he is not ashamed for asking; still his eyes don’t meet mine. I don’t answer right away because I have forgotten. Silly, how you can push something so profound from you mind. Then I remember. The fear. The pain. I don’t lie when I answer him.

“ Like nothing you could ever imagine. And it wasn’t just the physical pain, but the emotional. Before they let me go they tortured me. They wanted me to suffer; and suffer I did.” My eyes are closed as I say it. I don’t want tears, nor do I want him to see to what extent they really hurt me. Eyes can do that. They say that your eyes are the windows to the soul; whoever they are is right. They will tell someone your most guarded secret without a second glance.

“ What about you? How did you leave?” He chuckles and pulls me close.

“ I slipped away like butter on bread. One minute I was there, and then I was here. Barely felt a thing.”

“ Like hell!” I replied. That little liar; but I let it go. There was no reason to fight here. No wars to claim lives, no varying political views or dictators seeking power and control. Peace at last.

I am in paradise. I am so happy, I’m so glad I am home.