I am a square but I am round. I am fat. I like it when people call me chicken. My favorite food is gravy. I wish I could own a dog but my Italian Amish pirate priest friend won’t let me. I own a white tuxedo. People sometimes call me Bear Grills; he’s the guy on man vs. wild. I saw a lady with an eye patch the other day. I thought I was dreaming but I wasn’t. I’ve met Morgan Freeman and yes he sang me a song and I fell asleep to the sound of his beautiful voice. I got my drivers listens today even though I’m 100 years old. I enjoy watching the show Little People Big World. Today a doctor told me that I’m dying of cancer. There is no real cure for cancer. If you are reading this I am dead but I hope you remember me, the round square.