I remember the way he used to look at me. I swear, sometimes his eyes would sparkle as he gazed into mine. He was perfect in every way possible. He promised he would never hurt me. He promised he would never leave me, but he lied. . .
Things were going good. We were happy. The mall was our favorite place to go. We didn’t always have money, but we didn’t care. We loved to imagine beautiful silky sheets and a huge bed on our shopping list -not that it would fit in our shack of an apartment- but it was always blank. We didn’t need money; we made ourselves happy with each other.
One lazy morning we sat at the food court, silently eating an order of fries. I looked up at him,” Babe ?” I paused. He nodded for me to continue. “I’m pregnant.”
His reaction. . . I’ll never forget. He stared lifelessly at me for quite some time. I was so scared he would want me to get rid of it. The fact was, we couldn’t afford a baby, so why would he be excited ? At that thought he quickly stood up, making his chair skid across the floor, and ran around the table to me. He picked me up and just hugged me. I could feel as he started to smile on my neck. At that moment I knew, nothing could ever be that bad as long as I had him and my baby.
He softly sat me down back in my chair, then returned to his. We quickly started discussing baby names. It was, very surprisingly, his idea. “What about Seth for a boy ?” “Maybe. What do you think about Alicia for a girl ?” We went on, ,until he found his perfect baby name, Alex. “Come on babe ! It can be for a girl or a boy !” “I just don’t know, lets continue discussing, okay ?”
He threw a tantrum. He stood up, dropping his chair. So many people stared at us. “But I WAT ALEX !” he yelled. I turned bright red with embarrassment. He started storming away. “Fine, Alex it is ! Ok—.“ Then I was cut off by people screaming. I looked around, confused at what was happening. That is when I heard gun shots. They echoed in the food court. I dashed under the table, screaming for him to get down.
I looked up and he was on the floor . . . but there was a puddle of blood around him. I stood up and ran to him. I could hear sirens. I didn’t care if I got shot. I wasn’t even sure if the shooter was still there. I didn’t care.
I turned him over, “Baby, please, wake up. I love you. You can’t leave me. We need you. Please, baby, stay.” I pleaded with him, until his eyes just barely opened. I quickly grabbed his hand. He gurgled blood, then muttered, “Take care of our Alex.” His eyes closed and that was the end. I lost the love of my life, but I have my baby, Alex. He is all I have. He is all I need because I know Alex is a part of him. He is all I have left of him. I’ll love them forever and always after.