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Into the Nothing
Him:
“I’m just sittin’ reminiscen over this time that we've been spendin’ together
Just prayin’ we get better.
You are my lover
There is no other
I just wanna love ya for the rest of my days
So I pray
We can live happily
And she can keep me out of doing something obscene
But it’s obscene how much joy and glee it brings to me
And I hate it when we’re apart
Cause she is a part of me God has givin’ me her as a blessin’
And I thought no one could ever be as beautiful as her
But I guess every day we learn a different lesson.
I just hope and pray one day we can live happily together
Because for me, there is nobody better.”
Me:
How can I just sit here and allow this to happen? Allowing myself to break hearts, create chaos? I’m told it is all about trust yet you can never tell the difference between trusting yourself or trusting your heart. I’m pacing the room, my heart is breaking. Why do I do this? Is it in my nature? Am I a heartbreaker? If I am tell me so I know not to love again. Show me a sign so I know to leave hell in my path. Keep people from loving me.
Take it in your own way.
Pause.
Drop.
Go.
Stop.
My mind is gone. The lights are dimmed. He’s running through my mind. Always chasing me. Following my every move. I will not be left alone. What am I to do? How can I possibly stop the hurting if people always try to find a spot in my life. The difficulties I face are extreme. I try my hardest to fight the need to cry.
I will not break down.
I keep promising myself.
But I lose it. My tears stream everywhere. Is this a dream? Maybe a journal, maybe even a story. If it is, why am I so alone?
His words flow through my mind. Causing my to cringe at the very thought of hurting him. Breaking his heart. I already had. Would the second time kill him?
Would it tear him apart?
He tells me he loves me, but am I certain?
Questions. Everywhere.
I’m sitting in the dark. A pen and paper in my hand.
**KNOCK KNOCK**
Oh no. They are here to get me. For all the hearts I’ve torn out. The Death Angels are here for me. To take me away. To make sure I do no more harm .
IS this a good thing? Or bad?
Should I be taken?
**KNOCK KNOCK**
I tell myself over and over I will not open that door. I will not allow myself to be taken. Maybe I AM able to control myself. My emotions that could easily kill us all.
I will not let us die. I am here to stay.
**KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK**
**DOOR OPENS**
**LIGHT SEEPS IN UNDER THE FEET OF THE DEATH ANGELS**
NO. I will not be taken. Get your hands off me!!!
**ANGELS GRAB HER HANDS**
NOOOO. Please. Listen to me. I can do it!
**THEY TAKE HER AWAY. TO A VERY DARK PLACE**
Please, I beg of you. Please release me. I can do this I promise you.
**THEY THROW HER IN A NEVER ENDING HOLE IN THE GROUND**
I am falling. Into nothing. Remember my words…
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