Why does it hurt so much when you can’t have the one thing you need the most?
In your mind, he’s everything. Your breath, your pulse, your food: He’s everywhere. Maybe he feels the same way. Maybe he doesn’t. Maybe he’s somewhere in between. But all you know is that you can’t give up no matter what.
You know everything you possibly can about him and he’s on your mind so much it scares you a little. If only you could tell someone, but would they really understand? No. How can they? For everyone it’s different and you want him to be all yours, even when he’s not.
Maybe he’s already with someone else. But, it doesn’t hurt as much to see him with her than to see him unhappy or in pain. Because, for him, you’d do anything to feel that radiating glow, even if you’re not the one who’s the cause of it.
Is it love? You’ll never quite know. But you wish and pray every second of every minute, of every hour, of every day that it is.
Because if it is, well, then you know there’s a little bit of meaning inside of every word you speak and every moment you live. That there might be just be a speck of reason for the way you feel.