Tomorrow is a Guarantee | Teen Ink

Tomorrow is a Guarantee

October 28, 2010
By Roisin GOLD, Peabody, Massachusetts
Roisin GOLD, Peabody, Massachusetts
10 articles 5 photos 28 comments

Today, was different. She looked even more sick then I had ever seen her. Yet, even without her breathtaking long, dark, hair, that fell like Niagara Falls, and even without the usual sparkle in her bright blue eyes, she still managed to look more beautiful then ever before. And as I sat there, by her side, holding her hand, looking into her aching eyes, I started to cry. Looking at her right then, made everything inside me shrivel like paper, and fall like ashes.

And she looked at me with a heavy smile and said so thoughtfully, in her strongest voice possible “You don’t have to cry for me. Everybody’s life has purpose, and mine did too. The sun will still shine tomorrow, and the colorful flowers will still bloom every spring time, the leaves will still take the palate of autumn and fall once a year, and the snow will still cover the ground like a comforting blanket every winter. I might be gone, but I will never leave you. My life has been plentiful with love, kindness, and beauty. So don’t cry for me. I’ll be waiting for you, but don’t rush, okay? Because in heaven, time means nothing, and impatience doesn‘t exist. I‘ll wait forever, because I love you, and I always will. I‘m leaving, but tomorrow, and the rest of your days, are not.”

I was shaking, tears rolling down my cheeks, she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, even now, lying in a hospital bed. She made everything in the unsightly hospital shine that much brighter. “I love you too, babe, I love you too.”

Her voice now reduced to a limp whisper, “Life ends, love doesn’t have to.”

And just then, some higher power must have decided they agreed with her; her life had been worthy of living, and she had fulfilled the meaning of life. Then, with a soft smile, she closed her eyes, never to be opened again. I will miss her, but like she said, she may be gone, but she never left me, and I still feel her presence, everywhere I go. Oh yeah, and tomorrow still came.

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This article has 2 comments.

Roisin GOLD said...
on Nov. 4 2010 at 6:32 pm
Roisin GOLD, Peabody, Massachusetts
10 articles 5 photos 28 comments
Yeah, i guess i understand what you're saying, but this was meant to be small, and short, and powerful in description. Since the boyfriend is the narrator, i didn't want him to say much, because i feel like his personality is reflected through the narration. But thank you, and ill consider your suggestion. -Roisin(:

on Nov. 3 2010 at 1:44 pm
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If everything is under control, you are going too slow." Mario Andretti
"The first draft of anything is [profanity]" Ernest Hemingway

This is a strong article tackling a difficult subject. My advice would be to take just a little bit more time to develope each character. As it is, her monologue feels like, well, a monologue or a speech. It's seems like something someone wrote ahead of time

If you expand the story, you could stretch it until it is a conversation- between a dying girl and her boyfriend. It would add another layer of realizism to the piece.