Clearing the Daze

Dawn Whitefield had a good life. She was part of the “popular” group and her boyfriend was the most popular junior in school. She was part of the gifted program at her school. She earned excellent grades and all her teachers adored her. The only thing that could have affected Dawn was her father’s fatal accident in 2010, but she believed that everything happened for a reason, and didn’t let her father’s death affect her too much. Despite having a good life and a positive outlook towards destiny, Dawn woke up everyday unhappily and unwillingly. She knew that other students disliked high school, but Dawn knew she was different. She despised it more than anyone else. She was a machine; she had the same routine everyday: wake up, go to school, come back home, do homework, go to sleep. Dawn knew that other girls envied her life and would do anything to be in her position. She had nothing to be depressed about, but for some inexplicable reason she was never happy. There was a hole in Dawn’s life which she didn’t know how to patch.
Dawn’s mother noticed her machine-like ways and tried to make Dawn happy once again.
“Dawn, honey, I think you should have a hobby to keep you busy at home.” Dawn’s mother said to Dawn one day.
“I don’t need a hobby, Mom,” Dawn grumbled, her fists clutching the book she was reading so tightly that her knuckles went white. “I don’t need you to tell me what to do.”
“Dawn, improve your attitude. If you don’t find a hobby in the next week, I won’t pay for your field trip on Friday.”
“But Mom—,” Dawn started to plead.
“But nothing. Get off your butt and go do something with your life.” And with that, Dawn’s mother scrolled casually out of Dawn’s room.
“Ugh!” Dawn yelled as she slammed her book on the floor. She slowly began to cool off and started to think about what her new hobby would be.
Should I start dancing? Dawn thought to herself. No, it’s too expensive and too time-consuming.
Maybe I should start drawing? No, I don’t have the patience to sit down for two hours just to draw a stupid eye.
And it just hit her. Singing. Dawn always sang in the shower, but she didn’t realize that singing could be her potential hobby. She raced down the stairs to tell her mother her decision.
“Mom, I know what my hobby is going to be. I’m going to start singing, not just in the shower anymore,” Dawn said confidently.
“Dawn, honey, you realize you aren’t the greatest singer right, and you aren’t exactly going to give much time to singing right? Maybe you want to rethink your hobby,” Dawn’s mother said hesitantly.
“Nope. This is my decision and my decision is final. I’m going to start singing. Sign me up for vocal lessons.”
“If you say so.” And with that, Dawn went back into her room. She opened her webcam and started to make videos of her singing various songs. After she made one, she would play it over.
Maybe Mom was right. I sound pretty awful in these videos, Dawn thought to herself.
Suddenly, Dawn’s father’s voice popped into her head. “Never give up,” he had said to her three years ago, about a month before his fatal accident.
“This one’s for you, Dad,” Dawn mumbled drowsily. “This one’s for you.”
The next morning, Dawn woke up at 5:30 a.m. Determined to prove her mother wrong about both her determination as a singer and her talent, she opened up Google and learned scales on her own. She continued to do various warm-ups and singing exercises that said they would improve her singing skills. Gradually, Dawn increased her range and pushed her voice the highest and lowest it would permit her to push it. Occasionally, she would have to stop signing in order to hydrate her throat or to cough, since she was singing notes way beyond she had ever sung. This pain paid off in the end, though. Dawn, slowly but steadily, increased her range and became a much better singer, partially due to her vocal instructor that her mother eventually hired for her, but mostly because of Dawn’s determination to become a good singer.
6
Y E A R S L A T E R
“And the Grammy for the best single of 2019 goes to… Dawn Whitefield!” The host of the Grammy Award’s screams into the microphone. Balloons and confetti are flying all over the most repudiated stage of all of history. People are cheering wildly; most of them are giving Dawn a standing ovation.
And then, the stadium goes dark. An overhead projector comes down and starts playing a video called “Dawn Whitefield- Inspiration to All”.
“Dawn was the most ambitious girl I know,” The narrator of the short film, Dawn’s mother, begins to speak. There was no one smarter, funnier, prettier. Dawn’s mother’s voice begins to crack. “But she was never happy. She always had some hole in her life. She turned to singing to patch up that hole, and it worked for a while, but little did I know that her happiness was temporary.
“A couple months ago, Dawn committed suicide. She was always under the impression that she was a bad singer. She wrote over fifty singles but only one, the one that got the Grammy today, was successful. Dawn was done trying. She was so focused on the fact that she was worse than all the other singers that today, she can’t see that she won the Best Single of 2019.
“And this is my entire fault. Dawn’s mother breaks into silent sobs. When Dawn was 16, I told her that she wasn’t a good singer. Throughout her life, I tried to get her out of singing and into something else. But, she was persistent: she wanted to become a singer for her father who passed away 9 years ago today. Even with her persistence, she always had my words at the back of her mind. And this is why she isn’t with us today. My message today, ladies and gentleman, is to never give up on anything. Don’t give up on your passion, don’t give up your children, and most importantly, don’t give up on yourself. You will always have a critic in your life, but that shouldn’t shoot you down. Dawn, I hope you can hear me from Heaven. I’m so sorry, honey. I shouldn’t have given up on you.” The short film concludes.
Everyone in the stadium is silent. But then, a man from the back stands up and starts applauding slowly. One by one, everyone in the stadium stands up and claps. Tears are in most of their eyes.
“Dawn Whitefield, 1997-2019. You will be forever missed.”