As the rain poured down on my face like a waterfall in the wilderness, I hurried to the door to not get the child wet in the icy cold rain. I set the basket down full of fluffy blankets and a tiny child with a soft sleepy face, rosy red cheeks, right in the middle, snuggled in all the warm blankets. As I get ready to leave I sing the child one last bedtime song, my dad once sang to me, and I kissed him, rang the doorbell and ran back to my car. I sat there thinking if that was a good idea or not, I was only 15 and didn’t know what to do, and I sit in my car crying when I see a young gentleman carry my child in the warm house.
“Jay, wake up!”
“Ugh.”
“Jay wake up now the cops are coming!”
“What?” I say shaken up.
“Yes, let’s go!”
When I realized that the cops found us I hurried to wake Sara up, but she wasn’t waking up. I noticed that her lips were blue. I was shaking her, but she wasn’t waking up!
“Jay! Let’s go!” Tim yells to me.
“No, I’m not leaving her!”
“Jay I’m leaving you here if you don’t come now,”
“I’m not going!”
I watch Tim run for the back door, with Sara in my arms just lying there. I realized that she wasn’t breathing and saw she was dead. She overdosed. As I was whipping my tears I cursed at God for taking my girlfriends away from me! When I see the door bust open and the swat team barg in like ants coming out of the hole in the ground, I get up and run for it, I ran as fast as I could. But they still got me.
It’s been about two years and eight months since I’ve been caught for the drug bust, and theft at my friend Tim’s house, and I have a only a month left. It’s also been two years since I’ve last seen my girlfriend Sara. She died that day because of me. I got her hooked on drugs, and because of me she is dead. Ever since I’ve been in prison, I really thought about my life. I’ve been through so much crap, parties, sex, drugs, and many times in jail. I thought of how my life would look if I haven’t chosen my life to be like this. If only my mother hasn’t put me on that stupid door step, and just kept me, I always wondered why she didn’t love me. But if she didn’t do that none of this crap would have happened. But I was still thinking, maybe I can still change.
One morning I wake up and there was a man staring at me.
“Hi, my name’s Kevin.”
“What do you want?” I say to him angrily.
“I just wanted to talk, I think I’ve met almost everyone here but you, so I just wanted to introduce myself.” He says with the kindest voice, it’s almost like a mothers or fathers warming voice, when they talk to their child.”
“No, get out. I don’t want to meet anyone, I just want to do my thing and you do yours, just leave me alone.”
“Okay, that’s fine, but have a good morning.”
I was very confused, but I didn’t care so much about it, I just went back to sleep. A few hours pass, and I got back to my daily work I usually do in prison. That same man would keep trying to talk to me, and coming up to me, but I would just tell him to leave me alone. I didn’t know why he was so nice, but I just didn’t like it. I never knew why but I always the most hate towards nice people, or people that would try and get in my business, like they care.
After a few days of the same thing going over and over again, I overheard a group of gang members talking about that Kevin guy, and how he is so nice, how amazing of a speaker he is, and how he helped them so much. I walked over to them and asked them,
“Who is this guy?”
“Who Kevin?”

“Yeah.”
“Man, he is the pastor. He comes here to peach the word of God to us, and help us realize the mistakes we’ve made in our lives.”
“Pshh, what an idiot, you guys really believe in those things?”
“At first we didn’t, but man he’s really changed the way you think,

You should hear some of the crazy things he talks about. Also if you attended the service it will cut your date to get out of this place.”
“I don’t believe in those stupid things, but I’ll just go to get my date shortened.”
“Well whatever, it’s up to you… make the right choice.”
Jay was mad. Really mad. So many thoughts were going through his head, and he had only one question. Why, why did all this have to happen to him? If God really “loved” him, he wouldn’t let all that happen to him. Even after all the anger and madness there was a small part of him that still wanted to attend the service. He didn’t know why but he just did.
That morning when I woke up, everything in my body did not want to go to the service, but there was the smallest voice in the back of my head making me go, I just thought it was because I could get my dates shortened, but I didn’t know it didn’t feel like it was, I didn’t understand. So I ended up going. As I walk in, everyone turns back and just stared at me. I sat in the very back row, and slid all the way down in my seat thinking why the heck did I come here. The whispers flood the room. Kevin saw how I was mad, so he took action.
“Welcome!” He yells to stop the whispers.
“So nice to have you here with us today.”
“Yeah, just do what you do, don’t pay attention to me.” I say with an attitude because he just put more attention to me.
He started to talk about whom we are, what we have done in our lives, and what Jesus sees in us. He said that he loves us the same, when we have been doing the worst things in our lives, he still loved us and his love never changed. When I sat there all I could think about is how he could still love me when he let the one thing that really mattered to me die! I was so angry at him and didn’t understand how Kevin still can believe in him if he can still let all the worst things still happen to the people that he “loves” so much. I was so frustrated, but all Kevin would say is how much we mean to him, and how much he loves it when we just spend time with him every day, and how much he loves us even after all the mistakes we’ve all done. All he would mostly talk is about how much God and Jesus have for us. As the service ended, Kevin closed with a prayer of blessing, and forgiveness, and for our easy to really open and our hearts really open up to him. I really didn’t have a comfortable feeling when he was praying, it almost felt like I wanted to cry, but then I thought, nothing can make me cry I’m not a child.
“Amen.”
They all say together. Then Kevin dismissed all of us, and walks up to me.
“Hey, how did you like the service?”
“it was a dumb, how can a “God” love me so much he would let my girlfriend die, and let me do all the mistakes that I’ve done?”
“Well, that’s not God who let that all happen, it was you, you had the choice to become Christian, or to do all those things, and when you chose those things the enemy saw you didn’t have Jesus, so he was taking you deeper and deeper in your sin, and would take your most important things away from you and wanted you to just give up and kill yourself.”
“see the enemy’s purpose is to steel, lie and kill.”

Kevin just sat there telling me that all the things I’ve tried to change my life with aren’t going to work. Only Jesus can. After that he would just ask me about my life, and just wanted to get to know me. He looks at me with a strange face and asked me, “Where did you get that scare on your left cheek?”
I touch my face and tell him the story.

“I was at my drug dealers house totally massed up, and there was another guy there that tried to buy some coke, but he didn’t have the money but tried to take it, so I chased him, and caught him and he pulled out a knife and cut right through my face, and stabbed me four times in the ribs, I lay there bleeding out and as the pool of blood grew my girlfriend ran for me and called the cops, I recovered quickly. See how can a mystical “God” love me if he let that happen to me?”

Kevin says with a kind voice, “God doesn’t let that happen to you, that was the enemy.”

We sat there for hours, just talking. After he found out all about me he prayed for me, and he had to go, and I had to go to my cell. That night I was lying in bed just thinking in my head, what if that’s all true, I mean it did help me a little, but on the other side i was telling myself, why that’s dumb. After that day my whole life has changed. I’ve never been the same. A few weeks passed, and during those months have been the hardest thing I’ve ever been through, harder than all the criminal things. I learned how to stay strong, because that was just the enemy trying to get to me, and trying to take me down once again. I learned so many things from Kevin, I repented, and gave my life to Jesus and I’ve never been so happy in my life. When it my time was coming closer to my date of freedom, Kevin offered me to come to his church and preach, and tell my testimony. That same day he stayed longer to talk to me some more, and we got off the subject of the time when I get out, and we talked about his family. He has two kids both boys, and a wife, his mother died at a young age from depression, and he never met his dad.

“Did your mom ever tell you why she was so depressed?” I ask him.
“Yes, she told me that she had a son at 15 and she gave him up for adoption because she didn’t know what to do, and ever since then she was depressed.”
I sat there looking at him with a concerned face.
“I was left at a door when my mother was 15!” I say trying to comprehend the whole idea of if Kevin and I were brothers.
He looked at me and we both knew it. He came to me the next day with a DNA test, and it was true, we were brothers!
As the years passed I was with my brother preaching and going to missionary trips. I had one girl named Sara and a wife Isabel. I was the happiest I could have ever been. I went to many countries telling my testimony and thousands of people have been getting saved. I thank God every day for bringing me to the place I’m at right now and for talking me out of the enemy’s hands.