My life has been fine to me for a few years. I have had many friends, but one amazing woman has stolen my heart. She was beautiful inside and out, always making sure my day was going good and if it wasn't then she did her best to make it a good day. She was there with me when my parents passed away and when I had lost one of my good friends. I would hate to lose her, and I thought I never would.

I wake up and walk to my kitchen to make my coffee and I see the red light on my answering machine is blinking, I click it and my day chances after that.

¨Sweetie I see your monsters I see what hurts you please just open up to me and tell me whats wrong. I want you to be okay and I want to help you chase your monsters away.¨ Her voice goes from my voicemail box on my home phone.

I remember when she came over that day before.

Coffee was brewing in the pot so black as the night as I just stood there looking at it. I kept telling myself everything will be okay, but it won't. She was in the bathroom crying and I knew she was hoping I couldn't hear her trying to figure out what she is going to say. I knew I hadn't seen or talked to her since it happened and I had just tried to deny it. I don't want to lose her too but I don't want her to know how weak I am. She came out and huged me looking me in the eyes to say-

¨I see your monsters I see your pain, tell me your problems I'll chase them away. I'll be your lighthouse i'll make it okay. When I see your monsters i'll stand there so brave and chase them away.¨ She said with such strong meaning and hope.

¨I can't tell you, you will not like what you see from me.¨ I say to her.
¨I can't believe this is happening to me and can we please shut off the damn answering machine so I can start to leave my own messages, even though you will not receive them. I will spill my worries and cries for help, that you will never check to hear. ¨  I thought in my head.

¨I guess it's easy for you to leave me, but believe me, see this is not something I will not forget I would do anything to trade it for one more moment. Don't you understand I need to talk to you,  I need to know who did it. I stare at the front door remembering you said you'd be right back. I know you're never coming home.¨ I say sitting down to cup my face on the couch.

¨I see your monsters I see your pain, tell me your problems I'll chase them away. I'll be your lighthouse i'll make it okay. When I see your monsters i'll stand there so brave and chase them away.¨  Her words repeat and ring in my head.

¨My heart is fake and so cold. You are falling away and all these promises I made to you have b not been touched. I want you no one else. It is hard to know me when I don't even know myself. The one and the only thing that keeps me strong going hard, are the words you said that play on repeat in my mind.¨ I say to the sky on my balcony.

¨I see your monsters I see your pain, tell me your problems I'll chase them away. I'll be your lighthouse i'll make it okay. When I see your monsters i'll stand there so brave. I see your monsters I see your pain, tell me your problems I'll chase them away. I'll be your lighthouse i'll make it okay. When I see your monsters i'll stand there so brave and chase them ALL away.¨ Repeating through my head with such pain.
¨I miss you, I love you.¨ I think as I look up to sit in memory of her.

I thought I'd never lose her, but that was all a thought and empty hope I guess.