Today was a bad day. My “victim” decided to no longer to take the medicine that I have been so diligently giving him. Diary, the reason why I have not been working in you recently is because I have been busy. Ever since I came to New England, I admit, it was two years after my scheduled date, I saw My Hester stating on a scaffold holding a babe and wearing an “A” upon her breast. I was furious. How dare she have a child without me? I own her! She belongs to me! Even if I have not been here for two years, she knows that she belongs to me! Diary, I did not go after her, not at all, do you want to know why? Of course you do.
The Puritans are vicious creatures. They gave her punishment for me. I am glad that these Puritans did so. I may be a learned man of sciences, but I know that there is no retribution or justice except for the ones that we deliver ourselves. We cannot rely upon God to do it for us.
Due to their punishment, I vowed to Hester that I would find the one that wronged both of us. Yes, diary, I waited for years to find the man that wronged my property in my absence. It took many years, but I found him out when the hypocritical Governor tried to take away the child, who was three at the time, mind you. Hester begged Reverend Dimmesdale to let her keep her child. He obliged, he thought that he could escape me by making it sound like he was vouching for her from relation of respect, but I knew better. It was so terribly easy, the one that had to have been the father of the creature had to have feelings for her and would show it in ways that no one else would. It was amusing. He thought that he was being a holy man, but he fell into my hands. It was so easy to manipulate this simpleton that was so easily swayed by emotion. I am not that man. I use logic and never lose my cool. I am a better man, I do not see why Hester preferred to have spawn with this young man. Yes, he is young, and I am old, but I am not defected. That was off-topic, Diary, do you agree? Of course you do.
Dimmesdale was showing signs of stress and illness, and I knew that I had my man. Further confirmation was when I pulled back his shirt. Diary, I failed to mention that the man had an unshakable habit of clutching his chest as if in pain. So I went to investigate, and I discovered an “A” that was upon his bosom. His illness was due to infection of the raw spot and his mental torture that I admit in giving. He was filled with the internal kind of pain that cannot be shaken. For someone like him, it is so easy to pretend as if nothing is wrong, and he will bury himself. So really, Diary, I did not do anything bad to him. He did it to himself. Yes, I lied in omission, but there is no one that is always honest. Especially these Puritans that think themselves better than everybody else, they are wrought with it. It is really humorous to see this man who is so faith-filled to cause his own demise.
Diary, years later, Hester decides to oppose me and tell Dimmesdale who I am and what I have been doing to him. I suppose that she has not received a moment to see him alone, because I am always with him. Now, I figure that my game is almost done, but what he does not know can kill him, especially his physical condition and my drive. Diary, do not believe that this makes me a bad man, rather, it makes me a man true to his feelings and himself. I am not a bad person. Do you agree, Diary? Of course you do.