It's six in the morning at Logan Airport. I've been patiently waiting to board my flight home to Chicago. I'm sorry, did I say I was patiently waiting, because I mean I am waiting but I'm not a patient guy. As a matter of fact I can be very impatient at times. One of those times is now.

Maybe I should tell you how I ended up in Boston. In-laws. My wife, unfortunately, has two living parents, whom on occasion I have the pleasure of visiting with her and our two lovable sons. They're not exactly lovable, most of the kids at their school hate them, but I love them. Then again most parents love their children, don't they? Back to the in-laws, Jill and Dick, or something like that. They're the type of people who can really make you feel like you're the worst thing on the planet. For some reason I'm the only person who feels that way about them. Everybody else seems to love them. I bet that's why I don't. I hate people like that, you know the ones everybody likes because they give you one stupid thing, like a piece of candy or something. That's why my two kids love them, because they get candy, I just get to pay the dentist bill.

Wow, waiting to board a plane can be extremely boring. I'm passing time by telling you about my in-laws. Well, I'll stop now before my head explodes. The lady at the desk just announced that we'll be boarding the plane in a few minutes. A few minutes too long. I've just about had it with listening to my two boys fight with each other and constantly nagging me about when we're getting on the plane to go back home to Chicago. I'm actually starting to enjoy watching my kids fight, because it brings back memories of when my sister and I used to fight like this, and I would always be thinking, why didn't I get a brother. I wonder if Ralph or Jimmy are saying to themselves why didn't they have a sister. But I'll never know until they're older, because you can't ask a kid a question like that or they'll make fun of you.

I've just been informed that it is time for me to board my flight. I'm going to have to go now, because I have to wake up Judy, she's my wife, I forgot to tell you about her but it was probably on purpose, and I have to get my kids to stop trying to fly the chairs in the waiting area. I'm just about ready to board the plane, now if I can only figure out what I did with those damn tickets I'll be on my way. I think I forgot to tell you I often forget things, but that's not important, is it? 1