As the ringing of the alarm awakens me from an invoking dream of clashing fear, I am terrified to discover the empty room of dull white surrounds me from all sides to completely trap me in. I feel the annoyingly painful grief inside me burying deep inside my heart. But just like how quickly that feeling came the feeling soon gave way and cleared my mind from the misty fog in my head. I then was able to recall the memory of moving to the city and into the new house of two floors, high from the ground, and with the colors of cloudy white and shy sky blue.

I leap from the bare bed I lad on and travel down the stairs to the newly stoked kitchen. I turn on the oven and place a frying pan on top and begin to make me a suitable breakfast of crispy brown bacon and sunny side up eggs. After frying up both eggs and bacon to the pleasing texture and flavor that I like them, I grab a glass and pour me some freshly squeezed orange juice. I sit down at the brand new oak wood table with strongly made chairs to match and start, in a quite manner that would seem obviously surprising to others, begin to eat my breakfast.

After consuming all of the food and washing the flower pattern plate and fragile glass that held my drink, I make my way back up to my room until a new sound of bells jingle in the air. I am confused at first at what this sound could be, but as if a flash of lightening had hit me I then recall that sound as being the ring for the downstairs home phone. I race towards the phone and place it by my ear to hear the person who has called. The voice is soft but frantic and a stutter of fear accompanies the voice with concerned speech. The voice, though feminine and soft, is clear and understandable with signs of strength and protectiveness. The voice is from Diana Lunaus, my mother.

She asks if I'm okay and I reply by telling her everything is fine with the house and me. With the phone to my ear I heard my mother's shaky but relieved sigh. After long minutes of discussing where to put where, and what should be in the rooms my mom starts on a new topic that I find extremely annoying. She starts to talk school and the meeting I have with the principal at eight O'five.

She also says, "Me and your father tried to make it sure that you were given fair and acceptable treatments that should make sure that you'll have an easy time at school. And your father and I also told the principal that we're expecting routine checks on you so we can monitor your progress at school. We're expecting that you try to be a little more social with others at school and make some friends as well." My mother has just uploaded herself into being business mother, where she's more the businesswoman than the doting mother, I thought as I listen.

Half the time I suspect mom loses herself between her work and life and starts to think every event is a situation for work other than something that's suppose to be a normal experience or talk. Mom has always been the serious person even while I was a little girl thinking of fairy tales and magical beings. I don't think there was ever a time in my life when my mother ever let me believe for one second that magical or amazingly unreal things could happen. The entire time mom was teaching me real things and real people I had already known that things like love at first sight, mythical beings and miracles were never real and never will be.

"Yes mother… I understand" my voice could match the tone of an android. I've always been the loyal, law abiding and silently alone child from the moment I was born. There were times I did get into trouble with either one of my parents, but even then it wasn't that big of a deal, the things I did never were that terrible or risky, as other kids would do. My life will always be safe, organized and quiet with the promise of either like my mother, the serious businesswoman or the half mad silent person with no real control of their life. Either way, these weren't the choices I would have chosen, but what can you do when you have no spine when it comes to taking control of your own life.

My mother approves of my answer and then tells me how she and my father will bring souvenirs for me from China and France. Every time they go abroad for work they always feel they have to get me something to ask forgiveness when they go away. Since I was a child my parents would trade me back and forth, from mom to dad and from dad to mom, but when I was old enough to stay alone they just decided that if they got me gifts from where they went I would forgive them for leaving me behind. But I really didn't mind being alone. In fact… I embraced the chance at finally being able to feel some shimmer of freedom and control over my own being. It was the only time I felt like myself and I was gradually… happy.

As I completed the day before I rest for the night I took out my journal of my many amusing and feeling poems that I have spent most of my life writing with passion and an imaginable view of life. The words I used for my new piece are words to describe my feelings of today and my predicable feelings of tomorrow.

The next morning Rain rushes to school when she thinks she will be late and wonders what happens when she finds herself in front of the school sitting on her bottom on the ground. She looks up to see a group of people. There in the circle of people, who are looking at her, are five boys and one girl. For the longest moment Rain only looks at one of the boys, the one closest to her and the one she most likely collided with.

After her shock of stumbling backwards, Rain notices that her stuff had fallen out of her bag and was now scattered everywhere. She now remembers that she didn’t even close her bag when she left the house or even checked it. As she tries to collect her stuff, like she was in some kind of trouble, she hears the sounds of people whispering. She stops and sees many people looking at her. The boys who go by are laughing and the girls are trying to hide their giggles but fail at the attempt. Rain looks down trying so desperately to hold her tears in, but still her eyes become blurry and she could feel the chilling feeling of her tears running down her face when the wind blows.

This is horrible! I thought. Now I won’t just be known as the new girl, but now I’ll be known as a clumsy crybaby, too. So now I know I was right, that today was going to be dreadful.

But when Rain begins to gather her stuff again, the guy she was looking at bent down and was taking some of her stuff into his hands.

When the bell rings he looks around making sure that nothing was forgotten. Then without saying anything he handed her stuff, she put the stuff away and went inside without saying thanks.

After the meeting, the principal took me to my class where the guy I bumped and his friends are and the guy is actually the principal’s grandson, Marc Masters. When lunch started Rain ate under the school’s garden tree and after a few minutes was joined by Marc the four other guys and a girl named Kara Goldman, who immediately decided when she sat down that I was going to be her new best friend.

The others guys were called Kevin Vanders and Tyson Larkins or Ty who were one year older and Hunter Owens & Damion Palmers. We all started to talk and the whole time it was fine even around Marc.

Later after school, Marc asked me if I wanted to go were the others and he were going to meet. I accepted. Marc took me to a place called “The Blue Moon Live House.” When we all started to talk I told them my habit of writing songs and Kara immediately asks if I would sing one of my songs for them. At first I tried to resist them but their pleas were too strong for me not to comply. When I was done everyone was extremely impressed by the way I sing and the song I created.

Kara then starts to tell me of this contest for novice bands and how if they win they might get a recording contract and get into the world of being a famous rock band. Marc after performing in the club with the guys in their band asks me to join as their singer and lyricist. He believes with me they’d be able to win and get that recording contract. After a few moments of silence I agree because I wish to be of some help to these people and my new friends.

Every since I gave my answer to the guys about joining the band weeks ago I realized it was really fun singing for others. At first my shyness got to me the moment I stepped onto stage but with some of encouragement and some of Damion’s calming exercises I was able to sing my heart out. Most of the time I would mess up at practice or forget the notes but with some of Kara’s help in memorizing the words I was able to complete the songs. And like Marc promised he and the others would come over to my house and help me put most of my ideal lyrics into phrase poetry.

I got closer to everyone especially Marc and Kara. Everyone became a part of my life and I’m actually happier now then when I was alone. Everyone was beginning to change me. I realized over the weeks of spending time with everyone that I wasn’t the same quiet, nervous type. I was becoming brave and more confident in myself.

The one time at school these girls bullied me and told me to stop hanging out with everyone but I refused so one of the girls slapped me. But even wounded I didn’t back down and that’s when I knew just how much had changed of me since I met Kara and Marc and the other guys. But of course there always some point where that confidence fades than returns out of no where.

At lunch on that day my mother came to school and saw the painful red mark on my cheek left by one of those girls. After tending to my wound my mother immediately blames my friends for what happens. I thought blaming my friends was completely wrong so I stood up to my mother and told her that it wasn’t their fault but my own fault for being weak.

After my dramatic yet strong speech it was silent for a long time until mom gets up and ells my friends that after school that they should come to our house to speak. They agreed. After school we went to my house. Mom demanded that I explain everything that’s happen while she and my father were gone. I told her everything in precise detail that my mother and father only approved of using.

There was silence until my dad- who just returned like mom and her everything- spoke and asked, “Are you really happy, Rain? With the choice you’ve made?” his questions were true genuine fatherly concern. I nodded and said ‘yes.’ He smiled.

After, I and dad reassured mom that everything was going to be fine with me and she finally agrees with everything and allows me to continue singing for the band.

After the meeting, everyone left except Marc who stayed a little while after to ask me something outside the front door. He asked if it was alright if he could go out with me, like being boyfriend and girlfriend. At first I’m totally shocked. When I don’t say anything Marc says he’ll wait for my answer after the contest. I nod and he leaves.

The day of the contest all the bands that were enter had different beats and songs, some of them made me doubt myself and when it was our bands turn I was about ready to panic and faint. But before I get on stage Kara comes up to and gives me the biggest hug she’s ever given me and while doing that she whispers words of pure strength and confidence. Her hug and words fill me with hope and strength. Her words were the last thing that I needed to free myself from the cage that held me in and kept me from being the person I actually was.

I sang with all that I was that the entire building fell silent just to listen. I sang to the final note. And without a second to waste the judges stood up and announce us the winners. Kara cried out in delight while the others just yelled in victory, it was after Marc placed his hands on my shoulders did I notice how stiff I was in anticipation. I turned and wrapped my arms around Marc. For a second Marc stood confused then without hesitating returned the affectionate embrace. I looked up at him and said “yes.” He knew exactly what I was referring to.

And with that one word Marc smiled down at me and leaned in and id something I never expected to happen. He kissed me on the lips. It didn’t last long but for me it was the start of a new or a hidden me that’s finally been set free and I relished in the feeling it created in me. That one thing was a sign that things were going to change and I could not agree more. My future with Marc and everyone going to be the point in my life that I would treasure forever. And that’s a promise.