And I opened my eyes once again after hearing that beeping noise that represented her life, I was at the hospital, waiting for her to just wake up like I did five minutes ago, the sound of Rondo Capriccioso invaded the room and I just wanted it to stop, but I knew it was her favorite, she was fighting for her life and I am not in the mood to fight my mom about it, besides, the doctor said that the music could help with brain activity.

 “Camille, it’s time to go.”, said my mother with her eyes full of tears and an apocryphal smile, she tries to hide it with no success. But I understand, I can’t do it myself anyways.

 Our car broke down, so we took a taxi to go home. Looking through the car’s window I saw the crying sky that was as gray as me, then I saw our old school. I remember how it felt, running around and laughing all day; I didn’t have many friends growing up, but I always had my sister and my beautiful violin.

  “Not anymore”, said a voice in my head. My sister has been in that state for two months now, the doctors said that anything could happen these days, and that’s what I want to think.

 When I got home, I tried to take a little nap. The sleeping thing has become a bit rough these last couple months and I really need the energy; but then, they called me again.

  “Cam, please come back, we need you, this week is important and you know it, please have a little heart and come teach again, you’re the only one I can trust for this.”, I could hear the desperation in his voice, but I can’t come back even if I want to, every time I try to play the parts… I just can’t handle it right now, it is too much for me.

 “Sorry… I still can’t do it.”, I hung up and just after that started to cry until my eyes hurt and my head too, they just don’t understand. I haven’t played my violin since the accident, it’s just too painful for me, I feel like I’m not capable of transmitting that euphoria, that love, that passion that I used to had, these two past months have been a nightmare for me, and I just don’t want to adulterate all those feelings only to make them happy, my music is to make me happy.

 But I guess I just lost that privilege, right? I mean… without her… there’s no story or feeling that I can tell with my music, not anymore.

5:00pm and I’m feeling hungry. I went to the kitchen and my mother was there. She was crying, she had her phone in her hands. I came a little closer to see what she was seeing. It was a video of my sister and me playing in our music room. I looked closer and hit play.

 The music… That beautiful music coming from those little and delicate fingers, my sister used to play the piano, she wasn’t passionate about it but she was good, really good; and then I started to play my beautiful violin, whom could tell that a nine year old could play such impeccable notes, I was mesmerized in my music, so inspired, so… happy.

 I remember that feeling, I was so in love with my music that I started to play every single day, full of avarice, at every hour, every minute, every second.

 “You were so happy…”, my mom said in tears, and she was right, I want to feel that way again, I need to be that little girl again. I kissed my mom's forehead and went to the music room and there it was, my precious violin, calling my name over and over again, I could hear it, clear as a note. I grabbed my violin and softly touched the strings with my finger, then I started to look for my old music book, I wanted to play my favorite sonata, “The Devil’s Trill Sonata” By Giuseppe Tartini, I fell in love with this part since the moment I heard it, and I think this could be the right one. I took a deep breath and started, I closed my eyes just to be aware of every note, every feeling, the sensation of all of the things together.

 But then it happened.

 My chest hurt so much that it even felt like my heart was trying to devour my ribs and all around them just to find a way to escape from my body, I left my violin a side and started to breathe erratically, I was having a panic attack, it wasn’t the first time actually, it had happened to me a couple times since the accident so I knew how to handle it, I closed my eyes and clenched my fists, counted to ten and calmed myself down and it worked, until she came.

 My mother entered the room, she was crying but something was different about her crying, but I couldn’t figure it out what it was.

 “It’s your sister, she woke up.”, My mother said in tears, and now I know what those tears were hiding.

 It was joy. Joy and relief, my heart could never replicate the feeling that I’m experiencing right now, my heart was smiling and shining like it never did before, I grabbed everything that I needed for this occasion and went out.

 We went to the hospital immediately, we brought flowers and all her favorite candies; it was a great day, no one could ever take this away from me.

And Then, I saw her, she was sitting in her bed, waiting patiently for us. As soon as she saw us a smile was painted on her face, we hugged her and I felt complete again.

 “Why did it take you so long, Cam? Don’t you know how to drive or what?” She said with a bit of sarcasm in her voice, as always, I just smiled while tears went down my face.

 “Oh my God Camille, stop crying like a baby, I’m okay, can’t you see?”.

 “ I can notice, Lilianna.” I said with a big smile on my face. “I have a little something for you.”

 I took a deep breath that was charged with braveness, I took my violin and started to play. I played with all the pain that I was hiding these past months. I played like Orpheus when he lost Euridice forever, because I felt alone, I was alone.

But not anymore. I’ll never be again, and then suddenly the feelings in my song turned all joyful and alive, now I feel complete again, because that part of me came back, when she came back.