Guns and Grenades | Teen Ink

Guns and Grenades

September 29, 2011
By ChocoMint SILVER, Bloomington, Indiana
ChocoMint SILVER, Bloomington, Indiana
7 articles 0 photos 129 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love is like swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first, but keeps you warm for a long time." - Anonymous

"Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear." - Anonymous


Bombs went off, children screamed, papers flew, and unnatural light flashed—these were the things I saw out my bedroom window. Last night I went to sleep in a peaceful world. This morning my life is alien to me.

Quickly I threw off my covers, snatched my bathrobe from my oak dresser, and rushed down the hallway. I opened the door to my parent’s room and saw nothing. Not only were they not in their bed, but the queen-sized bed itself was missing, along with my father’s chair and my mother’s cherry wood furniture. Frantically I opened the door to my porch, only to be instantly knocked to the ground. Coughing, I attempted to sit up, but I was only forced back down again as the palm of a broad hand kept me stationery.

“Who…are you?” I managed. As I turned my head, I got the first look of my captor. He was a very powerfully built man: broad shoulders, long legs, and massive hands. He had dark hair, though his moustache was slightly lighter.

“General Williams,” he replied swiftly, “U.S. Army.”

“What’s going on?” I demanded over the roar of airplanes overhead.

“World War III,” Williams answered. Ironic, I was just reading about the Second World War. “Your family is among the many captives of the enemy. My platoon has been sent to attempt a rescue.”

Hope surged through my veins. “I’m coming with you,” I insisted.

He gave me a look of disbelief, one eyebrow raised. “Uh-huh, right.” He stood up and shouted a quick, “Follow me!” over his shoulder.

I did as I was told (I didn’t want to die in my neighbor’s yard!) and he lead me to a Denny’s restaurant. Inside were men and women dressed the same as he—camouflage suits and guns strapped to their backs.

“You stay here,” Williams told me.

Stubbornly I refused. My family depended upon me, wherever they were.

Exasperated after arguing with me for ten minutes straight, Williams reluctantly gave me a camouflage suit to change into. As soon as I had it on, he handed me a gun. It was a fully automatic AK-47, equipped with a suppresser, long distance scope, a shoulder strap, and reserve magazines in the pouch of my bullet proof vest.
“Those boot camp training sessions had better pay off,” I thought to myself.

Along with ten other soldiers, Williams and I headed out the back door. After several close encounters with a wide variety of artillery, we arrived at what looked like a run down gas station. The sign with the logo “Marathon” was cracked and the building itself looked close to splinters.

Williams and I crouched behind an upturned vehicle in the street. One of the men from our group sneaked around the back end and peered in a soot darkened window. A gunshot rang loudly in my ears and he instantly fell to the ground.

Next moment was chaos. Grenades were exploding, bullets were flying, and I was petrified. We were caught in a cross fire. Sure, I loved to read fictional war stories, but being in the middle of one was completely ridiculous.

Blindly I shot out. Closing my eyes, I tried to shut out the morbid sights and sounds of the raging battle.






----------


I sit erect in my bed, cold sweat covering my body, and my knuckles are white with a book clutched tightly in my hand.


The author's comments:
This was written in a writing class I took during the summer. It is inspired by the days I spent playing "Army" with my brothers and the memories we created. Much of this is what we would imagine.

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This article has 14 comments.


tealbird said...
on Nov. 2 2011 at 9:05 am
Good job. I'm not much of an avid reader of war stories, and I don't really enjoy talking about the army (this is not to say that your story isn't awesome, it's just my personal preference). Definitely keep writing. The story was really well written.

on Nov. 1 2011 at 2:05 pm
Sarajustine BRONZE, Massapequa, New York
1 article 0 photos 35 comments
This was really good. You did a great job with your descriptions and imagery. The only thing I would say is that it does seem a bit unrealistic what with them letting a civilian join the military with no training whatsoever, but I suppose it makes sense since it is only a dream. Great job! Keep writing! :)

on Oct. 13 2011 at 7:56 pm
ChocoMint SILVER, Bloomington, Indiana
7 articles 0 photos 129 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love is like swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first, but keeps you warm for a long time." - Anonymous

"Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear." - Anonymous

Yes, it was a dream, but she started dreaming it because of the book she was reading. In short, her dream was influenced by the book she was reading.  <><

Little.Miss said...
on Oct. 12 2011 at 6:33 pm

I loved it! I'm just a little confused with the ending... was it a dream? Or a book?

Anyways, keep writing! :)


on Oct. 11 2011 at 8:32 pm
sunny.all.day. GOLD, Potomac, Maryland
15 articles 0 photos 69 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you."
— A.A. Milne (Winnie-the-Pooh)
"writing is a struggle against silence" carlos fuentos
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."

This is really good! The way you put everything in order and how you described it was all perfectly done. Like everyone else said, the suspense was great and it just built until .... it was a dream :) Good job!

on Oct. 9 2011 at 9:26 pm
TessaGraves394 BRONZE, South Haven, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 10 comments

Ok, that was amazing. The details were extremely vivid, and I'm really disappointed it was so short. I love this, and it would be amazing if you could expand on it. Of course, you dont' have to; it's your work of course.

I'm still having a hard time believing that was all a dream. It seemed so real!


on Oct. 9 2011 at 4:35 pm
Signed_DK SILVER, Declo, Idaho
5 articles 1 photo 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
There is no line between genius and insanity, I erased it.

Violence isn't the answer, it's the solution.

Ok I Love It. I am a big critic on war stories, I usually don't like stories involving guns or grenades, but I like this one. If you have time you should write this into a book. I would definatley read it.

on Oct. 6 2011 at 5:09 pm
hedwigy13 PLATINUM, Piscataway, New Jersey
27 articles 2 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Only in the dictionary does success come before work." -unknown

That was really good! You should write more action stories!

on Oct. 6 2011 at 2:49 pm
ChocoMint SILVER, Bloomington, Indiana
7 articles 0 photos 129 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love is like swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first, but keeps you warm for a long time." - Anonymous

"Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear." - Anonymous

Thanks so much!  I really tried to get the perfect imagery.  I'm glad you like it.  =+)

on Oct. 5 2011 at 3:14 pm
TheGirlWhoDancesWithSnowflakes SILVER, Sunnyvale, Texas
8 articles 0 photos 99 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis

That was one vivid dream! :D I must say, you are really good at capturing the action of war and I like your writing style. 5/5!

on Oct. 4 2011 at 7:36 pm
ChocoMint SILVER, Bloomington, Indiana
7 articles 0 photos 129 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love is like swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first, but keeps you warm for a long time." - Anonymous

"Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear." - Anonymous

Thanks so much.

on Oct. 4 2011 at 6:22 pm
Kvothe28 SILVER, Temecula, California
5 articles 0 photos 78 comments

Favorite Quote:
Excuse me while I prepare my impromptu remarks. -Winston Churchill

Tell it like it is, not how it was. -Jonathan

Break it down like a fine English double-gun. -R. Bitoni

I thought this was pretty cool. Dreams sure do feel real when you're having them. 5 stars.  =)

on Oct. 4 2011 at 2:14 pm
ChocoMint SILVER, Bloomington, Indiana
7 articles 0 photos 129 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love is like swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first, but keeps you warm for a long time." - Anonymous

"Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear." - Anonymous

Great!  That was exactly what I was going for!  =+D  I totally understand what you mean about cutting them short.  I wrote this in a writing class and it could only be this long.  My teacher wanted it to have an ending that no one would predict so I thought that the dream aspect of it would go perfectly.  Thanks for your support!

Steph0804 GOLD said...
on Oct. 4 2011 at 10:34 am
Steph0804 GOLD, Seoul, Other
12 articles 4 photos 206 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog: you understand it better, but the frog dies in the process." -E.B. White

The suspense, the action... you're a great writer! The only thing I have to say is, the "it was all a dream" ending works pretty well with this story, but don't make it a habit. I have a friend who breezes through all her writing assignment by giving them that ending. Don't do that-- but even including the ending, I loved this!