NightStalker | Teen Ink


June 25, 2011
By Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments


The man stealthily lurked through the darkness waiting for someone to catch him. Nobody came out of the lurking darkness that stood behind him. He turned back quickly one more time and then turned back to what he was doing.

He walked over to a tall sharp fence and climbed over it snagging part of his black coat going over, ripping it.

He grumbled once he got over lifting up the ripped side.

“I’ll fix it later!” he mumbled gruffly as he started walking toward a huge looming building.

“He’s coming! hurry! In your positions!” said a big armed guard looking from a tall look out tower.

Down below was a dark figure of a man walking towards the guard tower.

The man looked up at all the armed guards and froze.

“Crap!” he said under his breath looking down from the light that was casted on him.

“Well, well, long time no see ah?” said a man in a red uniform with so many medals on the suit you could definitely tell that he was in charge.

“You, have been causing trouble, all around the country side. Stealing, and causing a ruckus among the people of the towns.” the red suited man continued, staring straight in the masked mans black eyes.

He then looked down at the coat. “It seems like you have been causing even more of a ruckus as well. Where do you think your going?” asked the red suit man fingering the tared fabric of the coat.

The man in the mask didn’t answer.

“Hmmm, you want to be difficult ah?” asked the man taking out a silver pistol.

“Well then, I will too.” the red suit man holding the pistol over the masked mans heart.

“It seems like you have earned yourself a new name through theses past weeks. People now call you NightStalker.” the red suit man continued slyly.

“Did you, know about this?” asked the red suit man.

The masked man gripped the gun in his left hand hard.

It appeared that the suited man noticed because then he said: “Ah, it seems you don’t like this name? You don’t, do you?” asked the suited man peering at the masked man closely.

Then speaking for the first time, the masked man spoke in a deep rich voice, “Why, why would I like this name? It is a name of a monster. Not a human being.”

“Well, you’re not, How do I put it nicely, not a human being. I mean come on, the way you climb so gracefully, the way you can get around an enemy so quietly, or how you can shoot twenty men with only one bullet.” the suited man said holding one finger and continuing. “This, is not normal.” the suited man shook his finger at him.

“How, how do you do it?” the suited man asked him.

The masked man responded, “Practice.” he said simply.

“How could you say that? just practice? I don’t think so! So tell me, how is this possible? Are you an alien? Did you fall in some toxic waste? What?!” demanded the red suited man.

“Toxic waste? Do you really think I'm some super hero?” asked the masked man in disbelief.

“Well then how is the things you do possible?” he asked.

“I have my ways” said the dressed in black masked man said mysteriously.

The red suited man started to pace around in circle still keeping the gun poised at the masked mans heart.

“Well,since it seems like you won’t give give me answers, I guess I will have to shoot the answer out of you!” the red suited man said.

He then pointed the gun at the masked man and locked the gun aiming at his chest.

“Tell me, or I will shoot you” demanded the suited man.

“No” the masked man said firmly.

“Well then, I’m sorry to say that you will be in a hospital bed for quiet some time” said the red suited man ready to pull back the trigger.

Then the man in the mask kicked the gun out of his hand knocking it all the way to a flimsy willow tree to the left.

The masked man took out his black shiny gun gracefully and pointed it at the suited mans heart.

“Well now, we don’t have to be harsh on this matter, put the gun down” the suited man motioned to put the gun on the grassy floor.

“says the man who was about ready to shoot me!” laughed the masked man not putting the gun down but putting the gun closer to the mans heart.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to shoot you” the masked man said, the suited man sighing with relief. “I’m just going to give you a little reminder that you can’t beat me that easily!” and with that the masked man shot his foot.

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This article has 84 comments.

on Feb. 8 2014 at 8:45 pm
Icithra PLATINUM, Arlington, Massachusetts
26 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
The wastebasket is a writer's best friend. ~Isaac Bashevis Singer

I like your writing style, especially the dialogue, which sounds realistic. However, in the first paragraph, and this just might be a pet peeve of mine, you repeated words like lurking and darkness. Great writing though. If you don't mind, could you check out some of my work? Thank you, and keep writing. This is great

on Feb. 5 2014 at 10:20 am
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments
Thanks for commenting! And yes, I'm still working on it and developing it! :) ~ Free :)(;

on Jul. 31 2013 at 12:44 am
Caesar123 DIAMOND, Union Grove, Wisconsin
50 articles 7 photos 103 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Madness in great ones must not unwatched go" --Claudius in William Shakespeare's Hamlet

I agree with Kitty Cat. Not really a plot, theme, or even much of a setting. The character’s are developed somewhat, but could be pushed farther. I also say this story has potential, but it needs a lot of key components, as well as fixed up grammar. But keep working!

on Jul. 11 2012 at 5:31 pm
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments

Thank  you so much! And yes, I should have worked on it better and the grammar. Thanks for reading! :D


~Free :)(:

on May. 17 2012 at 9:30 am
I think the story has great potential, but they're isn't really a plot or a theme, it's just mashed together words. It's kind of pointless. Keep working on it though, and like what's already been said, work on your grammar and etc. :) 

on May. 12 2012 at 6:37 pm
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments

Thanks for reading!!


~Free :)(:

on May. 12 2012 at 6:35 pm
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments
Thanks so much!!! i'm glad people like it!!! I posted more chapters just so you know! :D and of course! I would love to check out some of your work! :)(:

on May. 12 2012 at 1:03 pm
writer3499 GOLD, New Bedford, Massachusetts
11 articles 0 photos 196 comments

Favorite Quote:
"it's impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might has well not have lived at all-in which case you fail by default."

Wow this is really awsome! I loved the ending! Would you ind commenting on some of my work?? But this is great...keep writing!

on Apr. 25 2012 at 10:49 am
RalphPrestonKlaus BRONZE, Bangalore, Other
1 article 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"dont feel stupid if u dont like what everyone else pretends to love."
"how others see you is not important, how u see urself means everything"
"lonliness is the most terrible poverty."

the ending's nice... different somewhat. were u going for a do-gooder sort of image for the Nightstalker?

on Feb. 20 2012 at 2:19 pm
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments
Thank you for your feedback! :)(:

on Feb. 20 2012 at 2:18 pm
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments
Wow its been i long time. Sorry about that, but I can't find your story. Do you have any suggestions on how to get there? :)(:

on Feb. 20 2012 at 2:14 pm
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments
Thank you :)(:

on Feb. 6 2012 at 3:27 pm
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments
Thank you sooo very much! I haven't had a comment on this story in ages! I was starting to loose hope! If you liked this then you might want to check out the other chapters! Thank you for commenting! I will read one of your stories! :)(:

tyty25 BRONZE said...
on Feb. 6 2012 at 2:35 pm
tyty25 BRONZE, Waukesha, Wisconsin
1 article 0 photos 2 comments
I like how unique this is. It has a nice plot and charachter development is good. Great job!

on Jan. 9 2012 at 4:29 pm
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments
thank you for commenting! and i will try to describe it better and fix the errors. if u liked this there are plenty more chapters already posted! In fact i just posted 5,6, and 7 a little while ago and they are now posted! you can chek them out if you want! :)(:

on Jan. 2 2012 at 1:55 am
Eric_Tays PLATINUM, Conway, Arkansas
21 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The only thing left to fear is fear itself" Roosevelt

Man this is amazing, i only found a few grammatical errors. but otherwise i love the way this story is composed and is very vague, it gives a very how can i put it, viewpoint of the NightStalker

on Dec. 27 2011 at 8:45 pm
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments
Kk I will! Did you like Nightstalker?

on Dec. 27 2011 at 3:44 am
Def_Leppard_fan120 SILVER, Lake Lorane, Florida
5 articles 0 photos 72 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you want your dreams to come true, Make them come true. If you want to win, Make it a win.
The only one that is stopping you from accomplish your dreams is YOU.

Come check out my paper it is called THE BATTLE and comment on what u liked or disliked about it.

on Oct. 9 2011 at 10:39 am
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments
thank you sooooooooo much!!!!!!! I will check out some of your work!  sorry i havent gotten back! :)(:

on Oct. 5 2011 at 5:11 pm
clumsyteardropper SILVER, Roslyn, Pennsylvania
8 articles 0 photos 87 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You can't help others, if you yourself need help" -my sister ;) love it!

i liked this :))  it's very interesting... i want more haha :D
needs work on grammar, as people have said... but dont let that stop you!  keep writing!!  good work ;D