NightStalker | Teen Ink

NightStalker

June 25, 2011
By Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments

Prologue

The man stealthily lurked through the darkness waiting for someone to catch him. Nobody came out of the lurking darkness that stood behind him. He turned back quickly one more time and then turned back to what he was doing.

He walked over to a tall sharp fence and climbed over it snagging part of his black coat going over, ripping it.

He grumbled once he got over lifting up the ripped side.

“I’ll fix it later!” he mumbled gruffly as he started walking toward a huge looming building.

“He’s coming! hurry! In your positions!” said a big armed guard looking from a tall look out tower.

Down below was a dark figure of a man walking towards the guard tower.

The man looked up at all the armed guards and froze.

“Crap!” he said under his breath looking down from the light that was casted on him.

“Well, well, long time no see ah?” said a man in a red uniform with so many medals on the suit you could definitely tell that he was in charge.

“You, have been causing trouble, all around the country side. Stealing, and causing a ruckus among the people of the towns.” the red suited man continued, staring straight in the masked mans black eyes.

He then looked down at the coat. “It seems like you have been causing even more of a ruckus as well. Where do you think your going?” asked the red suit man fingering the tared fabric of the coat.

The man in the mask didn’t answer.

“Hmmm, you want to be difficult ah?” asked the man taking out a silver pistol.

“Well then, I will too.” the red suit man holding the pistol over the masked mans heart.

“It seems like you have earned yourself a new name through theses past weeks. People now call you NightStalker.” the red suit man continued slyly.

“Did you, know about this?” asked the red suit man.

The masked man gripped the gun in his left hand hard.

It appeared that the suited man noticed because then he said: “Ah, it seems you don’t like this name? You don’t, do you?” asked the suited man peering at the masked man closely.

Then speaking for the first time, the masked man spoke in a deep rich voice, “Why, why would I like this name? It is a name of a monster. Not a human being.”

“Well, you’re not, How do I put it nicely, not a human being. I mean come on, the way you climb so gracefully, the way you can get around an enemy so quietly, or how you can shoot twenty men with only one bullet.” the suited man said holding one finger and continuing. “This, is not normal.” the suited man shook his finger at him.

“How, how do you do it?” the suited man asked him.

The masked man responded, “Practice.” he said simply.

“How could you say that? just practice? I don’t think so! So tell me, how is this possible? Are you an alien? Did you fall in some toxic waste? What?!” demanded the red suited man.

“Toxic waste? Do you really think I'm some super hero?” asked the masked man in disbelief.

“Well then how is the things you do possible?” he asked.

“I have my ways” said the dressed in black masked man said mysteriously.

The red suited man started to pace around in circle still keeping the gun poised at the masked mans heart.

“Well,since it seems like you won’t give give me answers, I guess I will have to shoot the answer out of you!” the red suited man said.

He then pointed the gun at the masked man and locked the gun aiming at his chest.

“Tell me, or I will shoot you” demanded the suited man.

“No” the masked man said firmly.

“Well then, I’m sorry to say that you will be in a hospital bed for quiet some time” said the red suited man ready to pull back the trigger.

Then the man in the mask kicked the gun out of his hand knocking it all the way to a flimsy willow tree to the left.

The masked man took out his black shiny gun gracefully and pointed it at the suited mans heart.

“Well now, we don’t have to be harsh on this matter, put the gun down” the suited man motioned to put the gun on the grassy floor.

“says the man who was about ready to shoot me!” laughed the masked man not putting the gun down but putting the gun closer to the mans heart.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to shoot you” the masked man said, the suited man sighing with relief. “I’m just going to give you a little reminder that you can’t beat me that easily!” and with that the masked man shot his foot.



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This article has 84 comments.


Strike_Eagle said...
on Sep. 4 2011 at 1:44 pm
Strike_Eagle, Warm Springs, Virginia
0 articles 0 photos 33 comments
It sounds like the beginning of a good story.  However, it would be much easier to read if the grammer was better.

on Sep. 1 2011 at 2:41 pm
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments
i owould love to read some of your work, but it wont let me get to your page! :)(:

on Sep. 1 2011 at 2:40 pm
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments
thanks for the feedback and thanks for reading!!! :)(:

storm lily said...
on Aug. 31 2011 at 2:52 pm
this is a great concept but the sentences didn't flow very well and some grammar was off

on Aug. 27 2011 at 8:23 am
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments
yeah! thanks again! great job! :)(:

on Aug. 26 2011 at 9:34 pm
DaughteroftheTrumpet BRONZE, East Aurora, New York
2 articles 2 photos 214 comments

Favorite Quote:
Washington Irving once said “There is sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They are messengers of overwhelming grief and of unspeakable love.”

oh, you are totally welcome. Just wish that communication on this site was better. I will try and post the things tomorrow, but can make garentees... Thanks for the feedbakck on the story, jsut wish the other one would post:)

on Aug. 26 2011 at 9:28 pm
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments
well im so thankful for you doing this anyway! Thanks you thank you thank you!!!! And loved the story you wrote! It was so emtional!  thought I was going to cry!!! Great job!!!! :)(:

on Aug. 26 2011 at 9:24 pm
DaughteroftheTrumpet BRONZE, East Aurora, New York
2 articles 2 photos 214 comments

Favorite Quote:
Washington Irving once said “There is sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They are messengers of overwhelming grief and of unspeakable love.”

i complerely understand...only problem is, the entire thing is like, 16 pages long (i went through and edited everything in one doc) and obviously isn't going to post on teenink...hmmm...i will try posting it on the thread in parts, but idk if it will work...and if it doesn't then I am out of ideas...

on Aug. 26 2011 at 9:17 pm
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments
im sorry cant do that. but if you want you can just tell me the corrections! But i appreicate that you did this for me! thank you soooo much again! :)(:

on Aug. 26 2011 at 9:16 pm
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments
thank you for the feedback and thanks for reading! Oh and I LOVED your poems!!!! Great job!!!! Keep writing more!!!! :)(:

on Aug. 26 2011 at 8:07 pm
DaylightDarkness SILVER, Littleton, Colorado
9 articles 0 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everyone's crazy. You know why? We all want to be normal. Well, we cant define normal, and, the people you can point at and say, well isn't he/she normal are rare. Doesnt that kind of defeat the pupose of normal? -My Friend

Good concept, it sounds an awful lopt like some marvel stuff, but thats actually a good thing. ^^ My one suggestion would be to fill it out a little more and add detail. I tend to think that action needs to be balanced in any story, if everything happens too fast, or too much, the reader gets jaded.

on Aug. 26 2011 at 8:36 am
DaughteroftheTrumpet BRONZE, East Aurora, New York
2 articles 2 photos 214 comments

Favorite Quote:
Washington Irving once said “There is sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They are messengers of overwhelming grief and of unspeakable love.”

Hey, it's not posting either place, do you have an email that i could just send it to? Its totally fine if you feel uncomfortable with that...but that would be the easiest way for me to send:) I am planning on editing the rest of what you have today and wouldn't mind just sending the entire thing in an emial.:)

on Aug. 26 2011 at 8:22 am
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments
ok! thank you sooo much!!!! :)(:

on Aug. 25 2011 at 9:16 pm
DaughteroftheTrumpet BRONZE, East Aurora, New York
2 articles 2 photos 214 comments

Favorite Quote:
Washington Irving once said “There is sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They are messengers of overwhelming grief and of unspeakable love.”

rrrrr. i went through and edited, but for some reason teenink is being stupid and not posting. I am just going to try and post edits on the forum page:)

 


on Aug. 25 2011 at 8:28 pm
DaughteroftheTrumpet BRONZE, East Aurora, New York
2 articles 2 photos 214 comments

Favorite Quote:
Washington Irving once said “There is sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They are messengers of overwhelming grief and of unspeakable love.”

Mind if i edit the entire doc? There's a bit of formatting and grammar that is killing me? :) Don't feel bad, i have soooo many mistakes in my writing.

on Aug. 25 2011 at 4:18 pm
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments
thanks you sooooooooo much! and i lovved ur story!!! keep writing!!!! :)(:

aylinnnz GOLD said...
on Aug. 25 2011 at 2:11 pm
aylinnnz GOLD, Bronx, New York
13 articles 3 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Maybe no one's really crazy. Everyone is just a little bit mad. How much depends on where you fall in the spectrum. How much depends on how lucky you are." - Joshua Walters

Ok so i only read the prologue so far, but im definitly gonna read the rest! Couple errors but hey, we'r only human(: lol. read my stuff thnx! (:

on Aug. 24 2011 at 8:11 am
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments
yeah sure! thanks for the feedback!!! :)(:

on Aug. 23 2011 at 9:18 pm

This article was a bit disorganized, and I am getting so confused because the names of two of the characters are so similar. Maybe you could kind of, sort of give us some names here? It's all up to you...you're "the man in the red coat".

Also could you please check out my new story called "Purple-face Tom," it's my 1st fiction article on this site.


on Aug. 23 2011 at 1:02 pm
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments
chapter three, four, and five are know posted! :)(: