As I sat at the dining room table one Saturday afternoon, I felt as though my world was starting to crash down around me. School, work, friends, and just life in general was stressing me out, not to mention thoughts of the future. 'What's wrong, honey?' My mom asked me as tears started to run down my cheeks.
'Nothing.' I replied. My mom didn't buy into that and persuaded me until I spilled everything to her.
'I don't know what I am going to do!' I cried to her. 'I can't stop worrying about how I am going to pay for college. I don't understand why you are making me pay for it!'
'Sweetheart,' my mom said, 'We have been over this before. Your father and I have decided that it will teach you responsibility if you have to pay for your own education.'
'But how am I going to survive?' I cried to her. 'I'm going to be in debt for the rest of my life!' By this point in the conversation, my blood pressure was through the roof. I was so upset.
'You know that we are letting you live at home for free, you won't even have to pay for necessities,' She assured me. We talked for a while and eventually I was comforted enough to put worries aside for a while.
Neither of my parents went to college. Their parents didn't go to college either. It wasn't a big deal when they were growing up. My mom's dad only finished school through 8th grade. 'When my dad was a kid, he had walk miles uphill in at least a foot of snow to school,' my mom would say. 'And when I was a kid, my dad would make us work in the field rather than go to school sometimes.'
When my mom told me these stories, her tone was usually light and she said it in a joking way. I knew she was serious though. It was one way she was able to help me understand how privileged I am. I'm very thankful for the education I have received, the house I have lived in my whole life, the food I eat everyday and the list could go on and on. Life was different 20 years ago though, college and even high school wasn't as important as it seems it is today. My parents and grandparents all have been very successful in life, despite the fact they only finished high school, if that. I know that I have to go to college in order to achieve my dreams though. My biggest worry isn't whether I will get into college; it is once I get into college, how will I pay for it? Because college has not been on the front burner for my family, my parents haven't saved as much as a penny for my college education. I will be the first person in my family to go to college, whether it is simply attending community college or going to a 4-year college.
This certainly has been a challenge for me. I am still motivated as ever. I have made different choices recently that will help me. I am planning on attending Shoreline Community College for 2 years to get my AA. After that I plan to transfer to a 4-year University and eventually get my teaching certificate. The lack of my parents' financial support has motivated me to prove that I can and will achieve my dreams. At this point, nothing is going to hold me back.