Chocolate Covered Gummy Bears | Teen Ink

Chocolate Covered Gummy Bears

November 4, 2010
By Anonymous

Chocolate covered gummy bears are my favorite candy. I hate gummy bears, but I absolutely adore chocolate covered ones. The bite-sized, chewy, bear-shaped confections drenched in creamy milk chocolate create a melt-in-your-mouth phenomenon that ordinary gummy bears can’t provide. Regular gummy bears bore me. They’re just rubbery, gelatin-based candies that don’t have a real flavor. They try to trick you by coming in a variety of colors: red, orange, yellow, green, and white. But in reality they all taste the same. I’d rather eat fruit and vegetables.

Chocolate covered gummy bears have been my favorite candy since I was about four years old. My brother used to take me to the Sweet Factory and buy a bag of them for me every time he took me out to spend time with me. That’s just about the only memory I have with him. You see, there’s a tremendous age gap separating him and me. A few weeks prior to my very first day of preschool, he went off to a college about 484 miles away. After that, he never really seemed to come back. He currently lives in Manhattan, and his job is so time consuming that he doesn’t even come home for Christmas. Our conversations don’t get much past “Merry Christmas Aimee, what do you want for your present?” and “Happy birthday Aimee, what do you want for your present?”

For the longest time he embodied a metaphorical chocolate covered gummy bear in my life, while I was the flavorless [insert random color] one. My parents were so proud of him. Everything I know about my brother has been derived from my mother’s tireless ability to brag about him. He was valedictorian of his senior class, graduated from UC Berkeley and made ridiculous amounts of money as an industrial engineer, then quit his job to pursue his dream in culinary arts, and has still somehow found his way to making ridiculous amounts of money working under a famous chef at one of the most prestigious restaurants in the world. I am a four-year member of a national-champion award winning dance team, and I ended my junior year with a 4.29 cumulative GPA, and I can make a good sandwich, but I’m nowhere near a valedictorian. Unfortunately, that’s about the only word my mother seems to comprehend.

I’ve come to realize that although making my parents proud is important, making myself proud is my number one priority. I spent my last four years trying to make the most out of what high school has to offer. I wanted to challenge myself both physically through dance and mentally through academics to achieve great accomplishments. I am proud to say that I have endured four years of daily dance practices, conditioning, and pushups, all while maintaining the highest GPA among my 50-member team since I was a freshman. And for this reason, I award myself with the Chocolate Covered Gummy Bear Trophy of Success. All bragging rights reserved.


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This article has 2 comments.


aimeesj said...
on Nov. 26 2010 at 2:41 pm
Hi Joshua! I actually rewrote this essay to answer the prompt more accurately and the GPA portion was removed haha. But thanks for the advice! I really appreciate it! It helped me reconsider the accomplishment portion of my essay and replace it with something more along the lines of humility.

JoshuaL said...
on Nov. 25 2010 at 10:29 pm
JoshuaL, New York, New York
0 articles 0 photos 6 comments

You utilize the technique of boasting your academic record and achievements in an awkward manner. Instead of listing your GPA, subtly refer to your successes. If an admissions officer wishes to view your grades, they can surely do so. I commend you on your creative essay topic as I assure you not many admissions committee read essays about gummy bears each day. Yet with some work, you could transform this essay into a refreshing piece of writing reflecting your personality and accomplishments.

 

Needs work in several areas. Overall, imaginative idea that maintains the reader's attention until you list your accomplishments. 8/10 currently.