The way the door to my bedroom was opened, I knew I was about to receive bad news. 

The slow and unsteady sound the door made made me realize exactly what my mom was about to say.  My assumptions were confirmed as soon as my soft-spoken mother stepped in, as I could see the sympathy in her eyes.

“Michele,” my kind hearted mother wept out in a stern, yet optimistic voice, “You made the EDP team, not the NPL team.”

EDP, NPL.  The two leagues that had revolved around my brain for months at this point.   The three top leagues my club soccer team consisted of were ECNL, NPL, and EDP leagues, each league having one team.  I was desperately hoping to at least make the NPL team. Each day after the tryout date felt as if a century had passed in between.

Hearing those piercing words exit her mouth, I felt my heart immediately sink.  Waterfalls from my eyes clung to the ground. Feeling so despaired, I was not sure if I even wanted to continue playing soccer.  

What is the point of playing if I am not on the best team I can be on? They say those that work the hardest will get rewarded, so why wasn’t I?

The negativity that flew through my mind for the next week changed me as a person.  I knew the thing to do was to not give up, but it was hard to bring myself to keep going. I knew in my mind that this conflict was one I would have to face head on and independently.

When my dad suggested I try out for an even better league, on an even better team, my heart began pumping negativity.

If I can’t make NPL how can I possibly make ECNL, the even better league!!

Although my heart pumped negativity, my mind thought positivity.  The three words that allowed me to fully be on board were, “why not me?”

Why can’t I make the better team? I know I have the skills and the passion.  What do I have to lose at this point? 

So, with my head high and my cleats tied tightly, I stepped on to the turf with my determination and my soccer ball.  In the two hour tryout, I played my heart out. I was relentless and played with emotion. All of my built up anger and frustration from not making the NPL team was left on the field that night.

After what felt like a century once again, days later, I was expecting to receive the news. As soon as the doorknob was turned in a swift, optimistic way, I knew I was going to hear positive news.  This time, the look in my mother’s eyes was both a hopeful and gleaming look.

 “Michele,” my mother enthusiastically shrieked, “You made the ECNL team!”

Absolutely stunned that I did not make NPL, but instead ECNL, I began to cry.  

“Why are you crying Michele?” my mom questioned directly after I was told the news.

“I am just so thrilled, I can’t believe it,” were the words I replied back while streams were rolling down my cheeks.

Deep down, I knew the reason I was crying.  I almost gave up. If I had given up, I would have not landed the opportunity to play in one of the best leagues in the country. 

Moving forward, I look back on this event in my life.  Although it seems small because of all of the many situations I have been through, this event was life changing for me.  Not only did I learn about myself and how far I will really go to succeed, I realized if one does not try, there is no chance they can succeed.