Siddhartha: An Indian Novel by Hermann Hesse is an inspiring philosophical novel that illustrates Siddhartha’s transition from a noble prince to a sage. In order to pursue eternal mental peace, Siddhartha embarks on a journey and travels among different places. Although Hesse himself is not an Indian, he created the image of Siddhartha, injected his thoughts into the main character, and in doing so, expressed the importance of finding one’s self. 

However, the journey of finding self is tortuous and sinuous. Initially, Siddhartha tries to avoid the self, considering the self as the bane of emotions and desire. As a result, he studies from Buddhist monks, learning to suppress his desires through meditation and fasting. He struggles to integrate himself into nature, letting himself be everything: the wind, rocks, and animals. Nevertheless, he realizes that when one desire is suppressed, new desires emerge, and he cannot find an exit from this endless cycle. 

This stage of Siddhartha’s journey is similar to ours. In our daily lives, our emotions fluctuate dramatically: we might easily get angry because of some trivial things such as the conflicts between us and our parents; at the same time, we might discover instant but strong affection or happiness. These agonies and happiness suddenly emerge and disappear, bringing us endless torture. We might be outrageous and shout out: I only want mental peace! Nothing more. But we must admit that in reality, we cannot escape this cycle. We struggle as hard as Siddhartha does, listening to music, reading books, and going hiking, hiding ourselves inside them. But the annoying self always appears in an unexpected direction and breaks our temporary peace.  Even if we place ourselves in the same circumstances every day, new emotions will be provoked, and then we fall back into the cycle as well. 

After encountering setbacks, Siddhartha thinks that the Buddhist monks cannot teach him useful things. He leaves the temples, listens to the lectures of Gautama, a highly respected monk, and suddenly comes to realize that he knows nothing about himself. He always flees from himself, refuses to accept himself, and even intends to destroy himself. But his direction is totally wrong. Instead, he should learn from himself and accept himself—to finally be himself. He contemplates: “[I] want to be my student, want to get to know myself, the secret of Siddhartha.”(56)

Yes, it’s time to discover one’s true self. Thousands of people rushed from one place to another in their lives, but they ignored what is more important: themselves. We always fail, we only sometimes succeed. But both of the outcomes lead to instability and chaos.  If we fail, we try to comfort ourselves, forcing ourselves to relax; if we succeed, we make attempts to suppress our pride. They are both unnatural, interrupting the normal reactions of human beings. So why not let go? We must recognize the fluctuation of emotions, from the agonies of defeat to the thrill of victory. They are crucial parts of our lives, letting us be identified as humans. As a result, the key point is to follow your heart: when we are happy, just be happy; when we are sad, just be sad. 

In the later story, Siddhartha becomes a successful and rich merchant in a prosperous city, chasing lust and wealth. In this period of time, he abandons the skills that he is proud of, including fasting, waiting, and meditation. He indulges in mundane emotions and desires, gradually forgetting who he really is. Unwilling to be stuck in this decadent condition anymore, he leaves the city and becomes a ferryman. Finally, beside the river, he achieves his epiphany.  The river rushes toward the future, absorbing everything. Like the river, he ponders, people should follow their hearts, accepting and conforming to the waves of their emotions. In other words, people should gratefully accept their imperfections, find themselves from the deepest corner of their hearts, and appreciate the value of their current conditions. 

Under the description of Hesse, Siddhartha is not a legendary saint who we admire, revere, and fear. Instead, he acts like a normal person, which makes him real and vivid: he struggles to find eternal peace and happiness, gets stuck in the swirl of desires toward wealth and sex, and makes abundant serious mistakes. His story, thus, will inspire readers to contemplate more about the role of self, guiding them to approach eternal mental peace.