Sonnet: Deranged | Teen Ink

Sonnet: Deranged

June 21, 2009
By GoldenGirl PLATINUM, Vashon, Washington
GoldenGirl PLATINUM, Vashon, Washington
41 articles 31 photos 116 comments

they came here and saw us for what we are
a primitive race, righteous and violent
they puzzled our ways for years from afar
watching our game of war, they stayed silent
then the time came when they could take no more
they wanted to end our impulse riot
they searched us humans, right down to the core
and what they heard; a scream so quiet
what they saw was worse; no words could compose
the dark that scarred them, that blinded their souls
they saw what we see, their eyes wouldn't close
an end in chaos; in fire and coals
they came and saved us, though we never changed
they had to prove that they weren't so deranged.

The author's comments:
If there is an explaination needed:
"They" is whatever you imagine. It's up to the reader.

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This article has 16 comments.

RealRiter GOLD said...
on Feb. 23 2015 at 10:15 pm
RealRiter GOLD, Astoria, Oregon
10 articles 0 photos 65 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I did not fail 101 times, but I simply found 101 ways that did not work." -Thomas Edison

Cool, great job with the commenting on it to, I do like some room for imagination. Congrats on making it onto the "Best Sonnets" list! You did good and deserved it, hopefully while enjoying yourself.

EEKgirl GOLD said...
on Oct. 16 2013 at 10:51 pm
EEKgirl GOLD, Tigard, Oregon
15 articles 2 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
Those who don't remember the past are condemned to repeat it. ~ George Santayana

I love it! It's cynical, and yet beautiful. Good job!

on Aug. 13 2011 at 3:39 pm
emilybwrites SILVER, Villa Hills, Kentucky
5 articles 0 photos 112 comments

Favorite Quote:
last night i lay in bed, looking up at the stars and i thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

that was really good! could you read my poem "Forgotten Domain" and comment/rate? i would like some feedback from fellow writers!

undone said...
on Jun. 8 2011 at 1:05 pm
undone, Dfhfhjgtyiuj, Wyoming
0 articles 0 photos 44 comments
that was great it makes me kind of think whats happening to are own country everyone outside of our country watching us from the side lines shaking their heads at us for all the war were causing

on Jun. 8 2011 at 9:16 am
alliegeoca SILVER, Penfield, New York
8 articles 1 photo 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There is no such thing as love. It's a fantasy. That's why everyone tries so hard to find it."
~(500) Days of Summer

the rhyming was so effortless! i loved it!

on Mar. 12 2011 at 4:02 pm
Beachgirl1 PLATINUM, Bellevue, Washington
32 articles 4 photos 178 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If You Don't Fight Back, You've Already Lost."
"Don't suppress Laughter, it goes to your thighs."

yea the  poem is great and the picture is really great too

on Jan. 5 2011 at 10:40 am
Gabiiiii BRONZE, Independence, Oregon
4 articles 1 photo 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
"In a world where billions believe their deity conceived a mortal child with a virgin human, it's stunning how little imagination most people display." --Chuck Palahnuik

Makes me thing of aliens. :)

on Nov. 22 2010 at 5:14 pm
SideraCaeli GOLD, Marysville, Washington
13 articles 1 photo 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Be yourself. Above all, let who you are, what you are, what you believe, shine through every sentence you write, every piece you finish.” -John Jakes.

Reminded me of native americans?

nchic GOLD said...
on Nov. 22 2010 at 3:37 pm
nchic GOLD, Charlottesville, Virginia
14 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
it had borne the burden; it had earned the honor
-joan of arc

life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain.

i love it! sonnets are so hard to write, but your rhythm was spectacular! 

on Oct. 31 2010 at 6:16 am
Phantom_Girl GOLD, Ft. Carson, Colorado
14 articles 0 photos 279 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If it comes out of the lion's will be on the test."
-Mr. Bala

Wow. It made me think of an alien race looking down on humanity's many flaws and trying to save us from ourselves.

on May. 8 2010 at 10:38 am
KelleySchorn SILVER, Fort Worth, Texas
8 articles 0 photos 78 comments

Favorite Quote:
Whatever you are be a good one-some president i dont remember which
procrastinaters unite!...tomorrow!!-matt
i'm F-U-L-LLLLL i think i can spellllll-allie =]

awesome just awesome

saimne SILVER said...
on Apr. 16 2010 at 10:17 pm
saimne SILVER, Cerritos, California
5 articles 0 photos 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
I see humans, but no humanity.

amazing, i love the dark vibe i get from this poem. great work!

i'd love to know the artist of the pix if u dont mind haha


on Apr. 16 2010 at 11:27 am
ShernayB. DIAMOND, Southfield, Michigan
62 articles 1 photo 881 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Some things will never change"---Tupac

This is very powerful. I love it. Keep writing.

And please, check out my work. Ratings are greatly appreciated. Thanks!

on Apr. 16 2010 at 9:12 am
Anique_ThePoet GOLD, Indianapolis, Indiana
10 articles 33 photos 111 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A writer should write with his eyes and painter paint with his ears." ~Gertrude Stein~

this was really powerful to the reader. every deranged problem sized down after the war. this was completely incredible!

on Feb. 9 2010 at 7:45 pm
lilyraven BRONZE, Veneta, Oregon
2 articles 8 photos 16 comments
Wow if there was ever such a thing as dark, terrible beauty, I do believe you have shown it! This is incredible...Very intriguing =)

on Sep. 7 2009 at 3:08 pm
jennee21_ann GOLD, Helper, Utah
17 articles 0 photos 568 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't gain the world and lose your soul....wisdom is better than silver or gold."

"You can always close a book, but you can never close the mind of a writer."

wow! soo deep, and so dreadfully sad, a distrubing. but omigoodness it's a great poem :) love it!